INTRODUCTION
Michael Jackson once said it doesn’t matter if you’re black or white something that hit home to me and was resonance to me as a child and also into my teen years. I was brought up in a council estate in a place called Lawrence Weston which is a rough old place growing up there and experienced many racial abuse and one was from a police officer. I was taught from a early age that my skin colour didn’t come into it and I was to be treated normally without the preferential treatment even though I have seen my days of that I was taught that it was from merit and merit alone will see me though. I have African, Guyanese, Scottish and Irish roots and not to mention the other places I learnt of whilst taking a DNA test like I’m Welsh too. I took the DNA test to find out once and for all my roots and to put the unknowingly to rest and I’m glad I did as I learned so much and feel much better to know where I came from me and my family and ancestors. There are a lot of misconceptions of being biracial and I will be discussing some of them in this blog post and I hope to vent out some of my frustrations with the world and what I call the ups and downs of being biracial.   Â
People think it’s easy and you don’t get racially abused even though they carelessly throw in words like mongrel which I think is a racial slur to biracial people and something I don’t like to be called even though I understand some of the elders use of the word it still frustrates me and something I will get down your neck on. Back in the 80s it was a rarity to come across many biracial people and fast forward to present day they are popping up from out of nowhere. It amazes me of the backwards thinking some people have when it comes to biracial people and that I will get into down the line. I know one thing is that you can’t be too white and you can’t be too black in the law of the ignorant who nit pick at you for just existing and doing you. The good old you’re bi racial you don’t have any problems makes people seem tone deaf to the situation and my own window pain. My gran and grandad are from Guyana, my dad’s from Tottenham, and my mum is from Bristol but her parents are Scottish and Irish well my grandad from my mum’s side is both Scottish and Irish. I was taught both sides of the family from a early age and as confusing it was it really helped shape who I am today a confident about my heritage biracial person. I am proud of my heritage and have lots of love for all my family across the board and unlike my early childhood I’m not ashamed of my heritage and can safely say I have a lot of nations within me.        Â
PRETTY PRETTY AND THE LIGHT SKIN COMPLEX
You know I don’t have a preference when dating and is something that frustrates me so much every time it’s brought up. Not the preference thing but the fact the public perception of what is seen as the beauty standard. Let’s get this over and done with black is beautiful and there are a lot of black girls I would say is attractive but this brainwashing that happens tells people otherwise and stops people from dating black people on the misconception of dare I say being too dark. It’s not even funny how many people have come up to me to tell me they wished they had skin like me which repels me and not from them but the whole beauty standard. I really don’t understand how being a darker complexion makes you ugly and being a lighter colour is more appealing to the eye it doesn’t even make sense except for objectifying and sexual desires which I’m sorry I’m not a object of desire and refuse to be named as such. I walk past many black woman and girls and think what a lot of crockery you are still attractive and laugh at the ones who say they are too dark or dark and ugly. Being light skinned doesn’t even make you more appealing apart from the brainwashed who are now programmed to think otherwise. I hate the fact that I’m considered more attractive and even though I’m in my 40s now and seen my beauty days it disgusts me when there are opinionated videos like as seen on TikTok and YouTube. I didn’t like the fact that those TikTokers were being so grotesque with damaging videos they were making and thinking whilst making and posting the videos that it was funny and a good idea. This kicked up a shit storm where black people were denouncing biracial people and making hurtful videos themselves which didn’t put biracial people in a good light or most importantly represent how I felt about the situation. It kind of put me in a void where I was too scared to say hello to another black person in fear that they think like those who discussed the issues and expressed their opinions on platforms like YouTube and TikTok. It definitely made me distant to my roots and just wanted people to know I wasn’t that kind of person which is why I went out my way to say hello to black people when passing to get over this new fear I had which wasn’t the fear of the black person but the fear of them thinking I was a self hating clown who loved myself and was all about my looks which apart from a small blip I never was and love black people like I love all the races under the sun. The problem is it’s too much dictation from the fashion and media which tells people being biracial is more prettier whilst dark skinned people are misrepresented and put at the back of the que which I’m guessing as a black child or even a adult can lead to self hating and hatred to the light skinned people but more (importantly themselves) they prance around on our media all over the globe. Sadly this stems from slavery where the biracial slaves were treated better and in some cases part of the family whilst the black slaves were hard at work and being broken down and mistreated. The slave owners would use words like ugly and other cruel names to the black slaves and sadly this is still being echoed across the board by all races including black people. Skin bleaching is another thing to come from slavery but after the slavery days a lot of skin whiting products emerged which was dangerous and even life threatening to use. I’m against skin lightening and for those who don’t know I’m a massive Lil’ Kim fan so when the photos started to emerge of her lighter complexion it really broke my heart and I was a lost for a while . People think it’s to get closer to the white gene but this isn’t the case and is the beauty standard gone mad and is another nail in the coffin for being proud within your own skin. In my own opinion it’s something that shouldn’t be accepted like it is due to the terrible past and what is seen as true beauty but I have to accept it with people like Lil’ Kim who has had a dramatic transformation but she looks a lot darker and better in more recent years then she has done before. It’s more socially accepted to lightening your skin and people would even go as far as saying go for it you will look better even though that is not the case and in some cases they look more uglier than when they had black skin. Media has driven this whole topic from Hollywood and the music industry into people taking it upon themselves to lighten their skin colour and fit more into the beauty standard. I’m not even saying it’s their fault it’s people like Tyra Banks comes to mind who genuinely believes having lighter skin makes you more attractive and dashing down the runaway. Now I know you are thinking well Kim feels that way too well actually and thanks to the resurfacing of shocking clips from Americans Best Top Model which I watched when it was first aired in the UK Tyra has shown to be tone deaf of black people like when she said to one contestant she was being too black for having kinked hair and her straw hat to show her roots which as a black person herself she should of never said those words to her and was disgusting to watch again. Screaming I’m a Afro American woman whilst telling other black ladies she’s dressing too black and ghetto and later down the line lightening her skin doesn’t wash with me and makes me wonder if she used her skin complexion as a aesthetic and to win over the black vote. I mean if there wasn’t such a knock on effect with the whole issue I would be like it’s your skin you do what’s best but it’s leaking into the normal world and making people feel some type of way about themselves which is why I draw the line and plus it does have deep and dark history behind it which makes it even worse.                         Â
HAVE A BABY BY ME WHO THE F CARES
As I said within the space of say 20 years there has been a uprise of biracial babies which I’m not even saying it’s a bad thing and is something wrong with the parents. What is wrong is how unprepared some of the parents are. Some people are quick to have biracial babies without even considering the fallouts they might face like racist abuse from in and outside the family, explaining their heritage from a early age, the feeling and being told they are too white or too black, outside hate from other mums and dads and once again family and friends, and other factors like when the relationship goes sour and mum or dad start to be racist in front of their own child but there are many of things to consider before you impregnate yourself with a gorgeous biracial baby. I hear time after time that the only reason why they want biracial babies is because they would look pretty and nothing to do with two people falling in love and having a baby together. It’s more mother’s dolls collection ready to dress up and parade down the high street without doing their homework or even having a safety blanket IE away from the racist family members who will never accept them or their skin colour and go out their way to torment them with jabs left right and centre. Some kids get brought into racist environments and later on become self hating machines who don’t understand their roots and where they stand in this whole thing and I think it’s irresponsible to have a biracial baby under those circumstances it’s not fair on the child or children and is hard to understand as most times they are family so they are brought up to love all your family members even though they don’t love you. Unless you are willing to cut off that toxic family member or members it’s unfair to bring a child into this earth with bad blood already in the rear view. I witnessed a sad event that happened not so long ago and not to do with anything I just mentioned I live next to a primary school for 5-11 years old anyway he was about 5 to 6 and he was mixed race and expressing how he wanted to be white even declaring himself white. I remember feeling like that around the same age and was due to outsiders insisting I was white or not white enough and left me coloured drained until my mum and dad pulled me to the side and gave me my first lesson in life which was be proud of all my heritage. I would advise any parent who is going through or been through this problem is to not to panic and teach your kids all what you know about both sides of the family and never feel you let it slip or you failed your child. Teaching your kids what stereotyping is and what is really racist abuse is also puts them on the right level of reporting it to the teachers or telling the parents so they can ring some necks when they are not looking obviously. It’s a hard pill to swallow and at it’s worse can lead to depression and suicide so teaching your kids from a early age where they come from puts them on the right foot and is so they are not lost in where they fit in. Reminding them that you love them dearly and is not the public perception and they are just small minded bullies use the words racist bullies will make them understand a lot quicker that they are just trying to be malicious and not worth even getting upset about cos you never let the bully see you cry. Also integrating with other black people around the same age and up does help multiculturaled schools will stop them from feeling excluded and out the loop so to speak and even though that was a burden too feeling like I was too white compared to the other black people I still found my feet and eventually I find myself at home as they made me welcome and belong in their circles and for that I’m truly grateful.             Â
IGGORANCE IS BLISS
One thing that pisses me off is people’s pure ignorance and the dumbing down of the racist abuse I face and faced. They have this weird theory that I don’t get racially abused or feel anything another black person would because I’m of a lighter complexion. For one we are in the middle and get it from all sides and two do you know how many people have called me a nigger, go home, to people shouting at me because I have a dog and not even a tough dog, to be followed in shops, to being stopped by the police and endless more examples I could bring up. It’s funny how people would say we are more socially accepted and even though in some groups that is true overall that isn’t the case and still I get racially abused and stereotyped like the next man and woman. They obviously haven’t heard the stories where they accept you not for being biracial but being classed as white which is what I call colour tone deaf and a slur in itself. The other thing is preferential treatment like it makes me feel good and special it really doesn’t it makes me feel small and now I got to go out my way to reinclude the person of colour whatever race that is but I was mainly talking about my black friends or even strangers at times. It really makes me awkward and out of place as I hate not to include someone if that is sex, race, sexualities or anything else I always have.  The knock on effect of that alone is damaging and can make you feel out of place and out of socket yes painful. The amount of racial abuse that was hurled at other people but it’s okay as you are not one of them is another example of colour tone deaf and something that jars on me and that I faced countless times and yet another example no matter how much they think so biracial people don’t get the pass like they say they do. I might of brought this up before but there is this YouTuber who I respect and watch when I’m in the mood anyway she tried to say biracial people don’t get suppressed and don’t feel burdened of having black skin. I like her respectfully but to make such once again tone deaf comments and to discard my own suppression and burdens is a farce and something I was shocked her saying as it was coming from a articulate black woman who I thought was multiculturaled and a bit clued up to the ongoing problem of racism. As I stated I’m not mad and I’ll still watch her as she makes good content and I believe in supporting black artists, TikTokers and YouTubers I just was taken back from such ignorant words from such a switched on lady and I believed she was for everybody and not be so secluded when dealing with such a topic. I hope I got it wrong and she was talking to the dumb TikTokers with their gagging on lollypops antics but it really hurt my feelings and felt like my voice was being unheard and easily brushed to the side all because I was lighter then her. One example of how I was repressed and supressed was how my so called friends and their parents said I was acting too black. Ali G was a fictious charter from Stains who talked with a black accent and slapped his fingers when excited. It’s a black culture thing especially in Jamacia and the surrounding isles but was popularized by Ali G played by Sacha Baron Cohen here in the UK. Long story short it was a popularized thing in the school playgrounds and adults and we were all slapping our fingers together and using his catch phrase Boh and iz it cos I’m black. Some people like my so called friends and their mother didn’t like me using any of the catch phrases and told me in some sort of similar words that I should start acting white to which I replied iz it cos I’m black. I shortly stopped hanging around with him not so long after as my mum and dad taught me to walk away from the ones who call me racist names or make me feel some type of way about my skin colour. The other time was in more recent years two examples actually the first one is the music I make and to the haters it was too white even though I would say you don’t know what you are on about I’ll take the example of Jungle and Drum and Bass that was cultivated by black people I mean going down the heads list we have Bristol legend Roni Size he’s in fact biracial, another legend and also biracial Goldie, and now for the black ones Jumping Jack Frost another Legend, yet again another legendary pair The Ragga Twins who are MC’s they are black and R.I.P to another legend Skibadee he’s was a black Jungle/Drum and Bass MC in the rave scene with his white partner in crime Shabba D, not to mention General Levy the black Jungle/Drum and Bass/Reggae and whatever he’s feeling Rastafarian artist. All the people I mentioned helped shape the sound and define it right from it’s humble beginnings so when they say Jungle/Drum and Bass is a white genre you obviously don’t know how insulting that is for the grandfathers of Jungle/Drum and Bass and was not how it started. I use that example of how suppressed they try and make us as independent artists and how we should dare I say it stick to the bongos well sorry my bongos are being tuned as we speak so please bare with. I already talked about Beyonce and the hypocrisy of the black music standard when she released Cowboy Carter her country album and how and what I was trying to say how they tried to suppress her into sticking to the R’n’B and Ballads songs she was making throughout the years. That’s how I feel when they did that to her it was all negro please you know you never listen to Pasty Cline for example when in reality she knows the album more than the Pasty Cline fans. As if I don’t know the Queen, Madonna, UB40, Culture Club etc etc hits and I never enjoyed them all so say white artists and as if I was going to listen to East Coast and West Coast rap with 90s and 00s R’n’B hits, Reggae, Reggaeton and the other black accepted genres. I quite enjoy Rock in passing and okay not the typical genre I choose when selecting my daily tracks that is usually House, R’n’B, Hip Hop and the Dance hits but I know I enjoy particularly 70s and 80s Rock which I was actually brought up with. Being what I call musically bias means you worry too much on what people would think of you and means you can’t fully enjoy music the way it is intended to be which is for everyone and also without holding up what I’ll call the cool, black or whatever it is meter and say marking it from 1-10. The thought of just sticking to my streams and not broaden my musical taste would mean I would get bored quick and wouldn’t adapt in my musical making I mean I love music and I hope that comes across well in my music making I do but the ear likes what it likes and for me it doesn’t matter if it’s a ladies anthem like Destiny’s Child’s Hey Ladies, a swinging handbags at dawn house anthem take your pick but more Disco House from the late 90s to mid 2000’s, a dominating sexy anthem like Khia’s My Neck My Back or even Lil’ Kim’s Not Tonight, a heavy rock song so on and so on. If I like it I like it and if I like it that much I would learn the lyrics and start wailing away yes wail lol. My race no even better our race shouldn’t even come into when it comes to music making as music appeals to many races and creeds so when people told me my music was too white I laugh at the faces of the ones talking evil and blame society, the music industry big wigs and fans for being so narrow minded and thinking so small and not stepping out the box for a change and be part of the next generation of real inspiring and inspirational artists of the future did I sell it. Both Lil’ Nas and Beyonce have pushed the boundaries of Country music and I hope to see other artist follow suit and be all what I mentioned above without putting them too high on the peddle stool. It will show the world that other black people like the genre and more people will become more acceptive of the genre. Another person that stands out is Jada Pinkett Smith with her Heavy Metal band Wicked Wisdom love the name and what the band stands for and I’m also impressed by her roar and singing talents and also playing the guitar yes she a full on band member and at the forefront of the band. That is what we need more black Heavy Metal Bands and Rock bands give Chuck and Jimmy a run for their money. I actually enjoy her music even though Heavy Metal and also second up Techno are my two worst genres but I do like Black Sabbath R.I.P. to Ozzy Osbourne and Berlin Techno so I haven’t thrown it out the window completely. It’s actually trying to stand out from the others and not be a mish mash of someone from yesteryear or current even though I do believe in the blueprint when done right and with the nod of the person they styled or got their style of singing or rapping from unless they are being difficult and in some cases jealously and rivalry means a standoff deal so to speak. So in short what I just mentioned is another way they try to supress you and make you feel nervous of doing something a little different and out your comfort zone which I actually enjoy doing but thankfully no one online has told me otherwise, result.    Â
IN CONCLUSION
I hope I wasn’t across as ignorant or not for mixing colours whatever colour or race and creed they or you are. I hope someone will read this and take it seriously and hopefully know what to do with your self hating son or daughter or family member it takes love and sparing them from any judgement when it comes to their white, black biracial side and them exploring their heritage but never put them in one path if you can put them in the middle and let them explore the path with your guidance IE history about both sides of the family which is the important bit and the history their ancestors went through from both sides if you can rustle up a history takeaway to go I’m selling it again ain’t I woo! By doing this they will have balance and a deeper and fuller knowledge where they come from surpassing conspiracies that all biracial people are a product of their slave masters, and we are not loved by our parents and so many silly rumours and conspiracies we hear people run their mouth about. The sad thing about is as I’ve watched a lot of YouTube and TikTok videos where usually the mum starts to become racist towards them and their father usually. Also the countless videos I watched about their stories how they abandoned them from birth and mistreated them by sometimes being physically abuses towards them which does make me sad and it’s not fair as they didn’t ask to be brought in this earth and you go abandoning and mistreating them for your mistake well I hope the lord can forgive you. I left my mum to move to Barbados and then my dad’s and then foster care when I was seven but I can safely say she still loves me and wasn’t anything to do what I mentioned above. As I said I was brought up in a council estate in the very outskirts of Bristol so it was rough and my mum lived at the bottom of the very long road in the first block the road is called the Long Cross by the way and my Dad Lived on the last block of flats on the top floor about a quarter maybe half a mile up the road it’s hard to tell I don’t drive lol. I would spend the weekdays at my mums and the weekends at my dads until I got shipped out but thinking about I ended up in a good position and I haven’t done that bad to be honest it could be much worse. In fact me and my dad and my mum haven’t done too bad for themselves and have moved away from the Long Cross and gone into Higher Education my dad is Business man and so many other things and my mum went into a Psychology field I believe she was always interested in the mind. I haven’t spoke to my mum for a while now guess I should break the ice again before it’s too late but anyway at least it isn’t anything stupid. I am thankful that not all people feel the same way and depending on your town it should be filled with lots of different races and different backgrounds so it will be normal to say hey to a passing stranger or integrate fully by marrying, having babies or even sparking up a friendship with someone out your race. I’m not even saying having biracial babies shouldn’t be allowed but do remember kids just ain’t fashion and unless you are doing it for DNA purposes or to strengthen DNA or for the simple fact you like to do their hair in the morning which actually means that person likes structure and hair obviously and your doing it for the aesthetic looks and to appear dare I say hip and trendy/cool please don’t not have biracial babies. Now did I just do a don’t come back to Jamacia well sort of but unless you are going to guide them and see they end up in the right position and not face flat on the floor or be one sided although I do believe in the I’m a American not Afro American or I’m British not Mixed British scenario but teaching your children one side of the puzzle and missing out vital information that would later shape your child and make them more informative about the past, the present and their future will make them more confident within themselves and hopefully jump a few hurdles IE bear traps while they are and I do mean the system. What I’m also trying to say is it’s not easy bringing up a biracial child especially without one parent being there and at times in a toxic relationship with their mum or member of the family or members. I know there are lots of happy white and black families out there who do a good job raising their kids and single parents too. But in a white surrounding with one parent especially it’s easy for the white member of the family not to feel what racism feels like and how bullying can lead to a damaged child and later on adult and could make them backflip 10 times over by doing something crazy to the next person who tries them. This is unless they understand the whole story or even parts of it and fully understand what racism can do and feel like and how it affects them still to this day wherever you go and that goes for all races actually but actually they would probably make good parents, spouse or partners. The crazy thing and news flash I don’t even have kids but I was one once and I’ve read lots of books about baby care oh and I did a baby care course for a laugh and when I was deciding if I wanted kids I chose to have none and I’m forty and I still haven’t got any I’M FREE!!!!!!!!! Not only that I live in Bristol here in the UK and most people are with grips of the slave trade route which landed on the harbour side and also it’s quite multiculturaled city and people especially in the inner city like to get on with each other and share each other experiences like their festivals and a lot of talk about racism a open topic that is forever being brought up and I do mean that in a good way as it’s something that needs addressing until people get it right and more aware of racism and how it affects people. Mistreatment of others is not acceptable at it’s best and worse and being a right wing Nazi sympathiser should be a thing of the past but people like dare I bring the stupid bastards name up again Mr Stupid AKA Elon Musk likes to dance with the devil in the moonlight fire sounds like a start of a poem or song and someone go. I have no idea why we would go back in time when there is plenty of resources and people to meet to be stuck in this ignorant cycle and love to loath at the unknown or someone who is not the same colour as you makes me wonder are you that stupid do you need help or something I do wonder.     Â
However, Ice Spice was recently heavily pressed on YouTube with tiles like The End Of Ice Spice and YouTube commentaries talking about her two ex-friends who claim Ice Spice was horrible to and treated them dirty on tour and in their personal life and one of them claims she was bullied by Ice Spice in school. Also, the heavily talked about text conversations where Ice Spice called Niki Minaj being like her mum ungrateful but that’s again a whole new topic. Ice Spice uses the rap style of Drill music no no no actually drills are used on the tracks it’s a repetitive but catchy style that is used in New York Drill music and also UK Drill which replaced UK Grime here in the UK. In portions it’s enjoyable and something I personally can listen to for around two hours without getting bored of the same style of rapping. This is the case for Ice Spice who since her breakout track Munch has gone on to do the same song with a different beat with the same Drill style every song feels the same. The other thing that was talked about Ice Spice was accused of using the drug Ozempic to lose weight. For those who don’t know the drug is intended for people with Diabetes and also something I forgot to mention people fell in love with her assets her curves and ass so when she lost weight and lost those assets people mocked her and straight out told her we don’t like you any more now, you are a twig. Also, people began to notice the pattern of poo references in her music in one track she raps I don’t need a Diaper but I’m Miss Poopy and in another one, she raps and is the title of the track you think you’re the shit you’re not even a fart and has a fart sound on the track which was apparently a diss to fellow female rapper Latto in an ongoing beef between the two. This brings me to the next thing people have been talking about a lot and Ice Spice and Latto is one of them being flavours IE Bi-racial and pretty privileged. For those who don’t know Hollywood and the music industry you might as well say mainstream media have a preference and that’s either white or bi-racial people with killer looks and cheekbones and assets. The media is perpetuated with these images and rarely shares people with dark complexions or gives them chances. Thanks to things like slavery and also the repressions around the world black people as a whole don’t get given a fair chance and this is included in their day-to-day life too especially in Hollywood and in the music industry. Since the ancient days, people with lighter skin were seen as more attractive and seen as things like more trustworthy or friendly and also the soaps were used to become just like them and have a fairer chance or to become quote-unquote pretty. The psychological effect of bad history and the imagery of what must seemed like a white-dominated world in Hollywood and the media and also the effect of seeing racist imagery like black face and stereotypical stuff like being slow or eating watermelon thankfully people in the present day are starting to question and push back from making everyone accountable for what was said and done even if that meant digging in the vault and looking for evidence or making your favourite entertainer accountable for their actions. Tyra Banks is someone who comes to mind when talking about controversy and being made accountable. For those who don’t know who Tyra Banks is she’s a black supermodel and host to the infamous America’s Next Top Model TV show where contestants compete to have a shoot with Vouge and earn some money as well. Now I won’t talk about the black face incident where the white women were made to use cosmetics to briefly change their skin colour as I believe that was done in good intent and should be an experience all non-racial people should experience. I was more thinking of the time Tyra told one contestant in the elimination process she was to straighten her hair as it was too curly and in another bit she said she was acting too black and that was the feedback she was getting from others. This is the problem in Hollywood, the music industry and in mainstream media as a whole and is not something I don’t care for or entertain. Being Bi-racial with both African and Scottish roots and with an understanding of who I am and where I came from and also the uphill struggle of black and bi-racial people as a whole I found that hard to watch when it first aired in the 2000s and it’s funny actually how it was brought up cos I was outraged and started to question Tyra’s alliance with her own people and the state of the model world when first watching it. I still believe prettiness comes in all shapes and sizes and skin tones. I see a lot of black women and think they are attractive they seriously don’t know what they are on about and that happens quite frequently. I really don’t understand why people could say that person can’t be attractive as they are too dark it doesn’t make sense to me whatsoever. There was a complete attack on bi-racial people all over social media and debates on mostly YouTube and TikTok saying we hated black people, we could do whatever we liked, we were not suppressed, we think a lot of ourselves and that was hard to watch. There was evidence of this with countless stupid bi-racial people being racist and being all that my gran would say pretty pretty in front of the camera and that was annoying as I hate people who make a show of themselves on camera and are obsessed with their looks it’s so annoying and also are racists, especially to their own race. I do understand though the complexity of it all and have seen for myself being me as an example of favouritism and unfair treatment but like I said I never did and never will stand for it and get called out and worked on as I hate unfair treatment and I hate the fact some people hate me because of my skin colour cos that’s the other thing I get it from both ends and beyond.
Jeffery Star a YouTube makeup guru and before that a singer on My Space and known for his controversial lyrics and imagery and is now known for his pallets of Makeup he formalises and does himself apparently got cancelled for past videos of him being racist to a passer-by and involved battery acid which is shocking as who would say such a thing. Throwing acid in someone’s face is something that has no words to describe as for saying that even for a joke and shouldn’t be entertained in the least not to mention using violent and aggressive language and bad body language is a no-no even if you were wasted and you couldn’t control yourself. Since then he has been cancelled many times for a set of reasons but still, manages to climb his way back to most of the viewer’s eyes. His bad bitch persona and his ever-growing apologies videos where he apologises for his actions says he’s been disgraceful and holds himself accountable but still makes the same mistakes he said sorry for and keeps it moving rubs a lot of people up the wrong way and his name leaves a bitter taste in some mouths judging by the venom of the tone of voice or what and how they said it. To sum up his success he is the YouTube makeup guru’s Michael Jackson and his makeup pallets sell very well selling out in most cases in the day and has also or used to have quite a following before all the incidents came to light and people saw a toxic side of him rather than what was fed to them a package good boy deal. 
J