L.A. Investigators – Sanctuary Or Satanic

August 31, 2025

INTRODUCTION

It’s a topic that has been brought up time after time and a damn right good one two the subject of backmasking in popular songs. For those who don’t know what backmasking is I explain quickly with a quick definition.  Backmasking is a recording technique where a message or sound is intentionally recorded backward onto an audio track that is played forward, creating hidden or reversed messages that can only be understood when the track is played in reverseArtists have used this for artistic or comedic effect, for satiric purposes, or to censor explicit words for “clean” releases. While sometimes a deliberate artistic choice, backmasking gained notoriety in the 1980s amid conspiracy theories about secret satanic messages in heavy metal music, which have since been largely disproven. I’ve always been into finding new backmasking songs especially when I was younger which I used to make it jump to get the hidden message which okay isn’t good for the disk reader but boy did I get a thrill when I managed to hit it just in time. The first time was a fluke though which is how I discovered the so called hidden messages.  There are many allegations to why they back mask and it’s from the Illuminati to the devil worshipping to cooler but more scarier heights like secret plans and fixed terrorist plots like the 9/11 conspiracy which I think rings some truths in as something isn’t right but that’s a whole new story. The first recordings of backmasking was  “Car Trouble” by The Eligibles in 1959, which features two nonsense reversed passages. However, The Beatles popularized the technique with their experimental use of reversed tape in songs like “Tomorrow Never Knows” and the vocal backmasking in their 1966 single “Rain,” which also accidentally led to the “Paul is Dead” conspiracy theory. Rewind to the 2010s I would of been up in arms calling them all satanic devil worshippers but fast forward to now I’m in a good state and kept a open mind when compiling the tracks I have on this post. My conclusion will be at the end to what I think all this merlarky is about so stay tuned for that. After making a interactive post around backmasking and can be found on my randomgas.com/boiler-room page if you haven’t seen it already but after making that I decided to jump further down the rabbit hole so to speak and break down some of the sections of some of the songs I played in that interactive piece.  Below you will find well talked and debated about songs that are accused of using backmasking in their songs and many of things actually. I didn’t do the whole song which I cut up into bits and reversed it I did the juicy bits which I tried out myself and recorded each bit of the song and reversing it. You will find four versions of the clips the original clip which is played in forward motions and then you have the reversed clip of the original track and then the other two are me one in forward motion and the other in reversed to see if it was all by accident or more of a calculated plan of action stay tuned.   

LADY GAGA - PAPARAZZI

This song Paparazzi by Lady Gaga has been in some controversy surrounding backmasking and the hidden messages within the song. There’s a couple of messages about Lucifer  and some weird admissions but this is  just standard satanist vibes you would expect from a shed skinned creature we call A Star celebrities.  The first two clips are of the start of the song and reversing the first clip seen below you get the message 

“The star above, above he follow your wish no you’re not funny”     

 

It is suggested that the star refers to the Morning Star and is a Christian interpretation of Isaiah 14:12, which describes a once-exalted figure, the “morning star,” who has fallen from heaven. This term was later linked to the Latin word for “light-bringer,” Lucifer, and applied to the fallen angel, Satan. However, the biblical “morning star” is also a title for Jesus in Revelation 22:16, highlighting a stark contrast: Jesus is the true “bright morning star,” representing eternal light, while Satan’s “morning star” signifies his fall into darkness. It is also suggested that he refers to Lucifer or the devil and he followed their (the people she is meant to be singing about) wishes which is suggested to be a blood sacrifice or mass misconception one of the devils favourites tricks. And whatever it is she is not amused and telling someone they are not funny whatever that means I have no clue.

Saying it myself over the microphone and reversing the clip you kind of get the same message   but it tails off to some inaudible bits but listen carefully and you do get the message 

“The star above above he follow your wish”

 but tails off with the no you’re not funny part.  I’ll leave it in the sanctuary section and pass this off as a coincidence and something that wasn’t forced except for the last part the “No you’re not funny” part that didn’t transfer in my own recordings which does suggest a bit of hokey pokey.  

Play this part in reverse you get a shocking message which is

“The star above, above he modelled on the arts of Lucifer, on the baby”

It is suggested that Lucifer was the angel of music which they modelled the music on even though this is not true.  There is no biblical or definitive historical evidence that Lucifer was the angel of music While some interpretations of Ezekiel 28:13 suggest he had musical instruments incorporated into his being, this verse refers to the King of Tyre, and the terms “tabrets” and “pipes” are often translated to mean the settings for the precious jewels on his body, not actual a musical instrument but is still heavily speculated till this day.

Saying it myself over the microphone and reversing the clip you nearly get the message that she was singing I got 

“The star above above he… inaudible…arts of Lucifer” 

Know that I think about it the followed part did seem more force but I have no proof to back it up with so I’m going to leave it in the satanic pile as even though I don’t think she’s a devil worshipper as such it’s still roots.

Play this part in reverse you get another weird message which is

“On the arms of your bible, step on someone evil save us”

For those who don’t know celebrities as a whole are accused of being satanic and not following the bible hence why it’s suggested she’s saying your bible not our bible. They are also accused of stepping on people to get where they need and should be and also the conspiracy of Satan coming to save them on judgement day a day where they are supposed to align themselves more with the devil or Lucifer.  

 

Making my own recordings and reversing it I got;

“On the arms of your bible….inaudible…evil save us”

Bible and evil save us is pretty much clear but the rest is just gibberish so I pass this off as sanctuary and just a accident   or though and again there seems to be forced words I call them forced as they are words that have or may have been edited later on down the production line but who knows. 

Play this part in reverse you  get another weird message which is

“Help me please someone inside me”

It is speculated that the celebrities like Lady Gaga are leaving in misery and a slave to the Illuminati and they are pleading for people to free them from the mental and physical abuse they are supposed to live with. It is also speculated that Lady Gaga is just one of many who secretly live as reptilians and that is what is inside her or she is a proper loon and she lives with voices and torment this has all be speculated.   

My own recordings and reversing the clip I get a slight  message which is

“Help ma please”

It is hard to pick up the audio but if you listen carefully you will hear it but not the best clearest message in the list but it just about passes so I put this in the sanctuary pile and  call it another possible forced audio or it could just be a coincidence and it just sounds like that but who knows you can be the best judge.  

BILLIE EILISH - WHEN THE
PARTY'S OVER

This has to be one of the creepiest songs I’ve heard in a while and with that out the way you can definitely hear

“We walk in hell Satan”

in a part of this clip but it’s so hard to pick up anything that made sense and not dribbling black tar from their mouth lol but you really have to concentrate on the audio. 

Nothing in this one apart from the last word which is a very slurred Satan right at the end so another one for the sanctuary pile as much of it was inaudible and didn’t make no sense like the M.E.M. which called mean Eminem you see how easy it is to twist the subject around into something that makes complete sense.        

Play this clip backwards you will get the message 

“Kill it kill it kill it  kill it…inaudible” and “Like a lifer” a slang term for someone who is serving life in prison. 

This is a newish song from 2019 so way after the YouTube first stage of feeding us all with junk they call conspiracies so I don’t know much about the song but my guess is more so called satanic messages or her egging someone or us to kill someone  in subliminal tones but who knows what the official conspiracy is. 

Absolutely nothing in this reversed clip of my version just gibberish so this will go into once again the sanctuary pile. Maybe I could of done better with the voicing and the rhythm of the song but it was quite a hard one to get out for someone who just heard the song but nothing but gibberish in this clip.

MILEY CYRUS - WRECKING BALL

In this reversed clip well actually it’s inaudible for most of it but at the end it seems to say

“Whining” and “Tis I supposed to die maybe we should watch”

It could be suggested that Miley is singing about her being dispensable and at the hands of the Illuminati and the other secret society’s we know and don’t know about. And the maybe we should watch may be speculated about a snuff movie or her suffering and everyone watching in and making it a circus which is part of the puppet chain.

Nothing in this one either I recorded and reversed the clip but found nothing to report back  on with so another dead end. It sounded like nothing what Miley sang or spoke down that mic. So I guess this goes in the satanic pile as I feel now this a blatant forced message  or it could be by accident but there was no way I got that from this. 

Playing this part of the song in reverse you get the words.

“Leave, yeah eh eh eh heave eh eh eh loading we are. Oh we are soaking all in our lawn….inaudible…rucaliptian”  

Breaking it down into parts starting  with the first part “leave” which is actually self explanatory but  just for reference it is speculated that she’s telling someone to go possible to be a outcast in the real world or it was someone’s warning them to leave town or even the country someone high up and wouldn’t have to spend a night or their life in a cell. The “heave” part is suggested it’s on about slavery and particularly to the so called slaves who are at the bottom of the pyramid and food chain in hierarchy. “Oh we are soaking all in our lawn” people suggest it’s about soaking in the sun while the slaves run around like busy bees or possible soaking in blood and even worser things. Finally the word rucalipatian is meant to be about shape shifting and the so called reptilians who want to take over the world and the human race which is a pretty far out conspiracy theory I reckon.    

Okay maybe I could of sang the last bit better bit I didn’t find anything interesting in this clip only a indistinctive heave at the beginning and that was it. This will go into the sanctuary section as I didn’t find anything too shocking or worthy of putting it in the satanic pile so onwards and upwards. 

There are chopped up bits and pieces in this part of the song including

“Leave the illusion off with that”,  “No we are not movin”, “Satan”  and “Slow misery let me know” 

The rest is untranslated and speaking in some sort of Juju tongue but your ears might of heard something else. To explain the theory bit by bit “Leave the illusion off with that” is speculated about using smoke and mirrors like what they say about when the Twin Towers got hit on September 11th in 2001. They say it was a order by a higher up person who controls the media and businesses around the world and those people put out smoke and mirrors in order to keep us where they want us to be. I half believe in this as I do believe there are secret cabinets who do the bidding behind our backs and start wars etc for gain and profit including making new laws even if that means breaking them to make it which means cold murder in some cases. “Slow misery let me know” is suggested that they get off on seeing people down and hurt and they have the power to do such a thing which in that part of the song it could be suggested that it was a open invitation to cause pain, havoc and mayhem in the name Lucifer just one of their gods the celebrities are meant to worship instead of God and even Jesus.

Okay not much in this one either but I did notice 3 seconds in it sounds like I’m saying Satan but it’s pretty mangled and distorted. I’ll put this in the sanctuary pile as there wasn’t much in it and seems like a fluke or some sort of accident as I couldn’t find anything substantial in these clip. 

In this reversed clip it seems to be saying

“This is revenge what you did to me. Miss me honey”

It is suggested that she is on about a ex and tormenting him through this song. The honey part is suggested to be linked to the Monarch part of the Illuminati where celebrities like Miley Cyrus are brainwashed sex kittens and are controlled by handlers and they use trigger words like honey to make them do what they want. Interesting at it’s best scary at it’s worse but I think it’s pretty much exaggerated claims I think.

In my reversed clip I got 

“Revenge” and “Miss me honey”

Not the whole sentence but a bit of mix and match. It definity says “miss me honey” which I think is a coincidence and makes me laugh for some reason. I’ll put this in the sanctuary pile  as there was that coincidence and the rest didn’t make sense so in the pile it goes. 

BEYONCE - SINGLE LADIES (PUT A RING ON IT)

In the revered clips it seems to be saying 

“Hail Lucifer” 

Not much to explain in this except more devil worshipping accusations from the conspiracy theorists and also trying to align herself more with the devil I mean it’s up to you to decide but they are wild accusations. 

Not much in my recordings or though it does seem to be saying

“Lucifer”

A couple of times but I’m not getting the hail bit which you do have to listen really carefully to hear it in the original song. I’ll put this in the sanctuary pile or though I won’t dispute a bit of forced audio in there but who knows.

In the reversed clip of this bit of the song it seems to say

“Lucifer, the world will..not..have..fun, the world will bow to me, people tears fall”

More accusations of devil worshipping  and the accusation of when the day comes the world will bow to Beyonce the queen of hell or the other one is she will replace Christianity and the world will bow and worship her instead. And the people’s tears fall part is to do with Aaliyah and the fact she so say killed her and how people still cry out for her a possible regret so called. The other one is another world wide thing that will affect us all and how our tears will fall like 9/11 all over again. And oh the world will not have fun part is meant to be about how she is laughing and saying how the world will be restricted and how we will not have fun like it has been since 9/11.

My reversed findings find it says

“The world…Inaudible…will not have fun” and “Gurl  will bow to me”

But the rest is inaudible and something I couldn’t pick up on. I’ll put this once again the sanctuary pile as I couldn’t find the sinister message in the audio and doesn’t find much of the clip.

In the reversed clip of the final bit it seems to be saying

“Galaxy” and “Lean on me”

Silly accusations that Beyonce is God as we all know the Gods open up all the galaxies so  they are saying she thinks she’s God and going to open up a galaxy which is meant to be blaspheming and disrespect to God and the Bible.  The “Lean on me” part is quite silly but she is meant to be the puppet and she’s the one they lean on IE take it out on and she’s meant to be tired of being leant on apparently.

In my reversed clip it says

“Galaxy” and “Lean on me”

Okay a bit jargoned but if you listen carefully it does say that the lean on me and galaxy are quite distinctive. I definitely put this in the sanctuary pile  as it was a natural recordings and nothing to suspect about it  even though it was the silly part of the song and nothing to be taken too seriously. 

IN CONCLUSION

Well we have come to the end of the post and I leave with my conclusion. I pretty much call it sanctuary over satanic and even though I did find some suspect or what I called forced audio it’s pretty much a coincidence and something that should be taken seriously.  They probably deliberately put messages in the songs for profit and sells even though they are all saints but not perfect as saints aren’t perfect. I don’t know maybe it’s the accent or the way it was sung and even though I did try to sing it or at least get the melody part right I found not a lot in it. I don’t know of a technique used to get hidden messages when reversing a part of a song but here is the conspiracy part of the post but maybe they have a technique or certain voices and accents sound different or maybe they have a book of words and the song writers use that to meet the satanic and sinister requirements but this is far fetched allegations from me and also not what I found in my own recordings. Whatever the case I myself think it’s pretty much BS unless it was all what I said above and more which I always keep a open mind when investigating and debating the topic. I wanted to make my own recordings and conclusions and I would suggest you do the same with the same clips and other well known songs to make up your own mind but I hope I helped.

Conspiracies Gone Wild

August 21, 2025

INTRODUCTION

Don’t get me wrong  I enjoy a good conspiracy I remember in the 2010’s when there were a lot of what they call now truth channels or other well known as conspiracy channels on YouTube. Some of it which is nothing but some harmless fun is okay but then we jump into the wild side stuff you have to believe in aliens and stuff to believe what they say. I heard it all from the queen being a reptilian and eating babies to replacement clones of the stars of yesterday and even today. As I said some of it is just harmless fun but the funny thing about it is people and the person delivering the news actually believes it. Even though it can be what I called  harmless fun it can lead you down dark and lonely paths which I get into further down this post. I wonder all the time what the person’s agenda is the person who is behind spreading the craziness is it to spread the word or just because you can’t stand that person or a way to get global attention like here’s the scoop but don’t forget to buy my merch or buy and stream my music it does make me wonder. Obviously it’s a topic starter in real life and on YouTube and online the reactions are priceless and most take it with a pinch of salt and then there are people who over react and start hating or acting shady towards that person and is mostly to do with the satanic nature but more on that later.  I’m actually writing this post as I seen a surge of the so called truth channels and the return of the crazy and dam right silly with bigger and bolder claims and talk of proof without showing proof and fake what it looks like fake AI made thumbnails that is meant to be the proof but it just not cutting it. I mean how many tear duck photoshops are you going to do with a miserable face they use it on everyone and at first it was convincing but it’s been done too many times but still impressive gear. I remember when I first really started hearing about conspiracies and fully understanding them was at my old school Fairfield Grammar School and when I was about 11 when I first started secondary school. Our teacher was a bit of a kook too and he told us some of them which always used to scare me but sounded so real and interesting. He was well up to date with them and knew all the old ones he was a bit of a wiz to it actually. It did change my perspective of the world and my outlook on things but I said nothing was going to stop me doing what I wanted to do and I did it. 

MESSING WITH MY PSYCHE

As I said I started hearing and making way of conspiracies when I was 11 around 1996 and when I started secondary school. I always had a mental illness well since when I was seven and only got treated in 2016 when I got some help. I got sectioned and this was due to a number of reasons but one of them was watching too many conspiracy videos on YouTube. Like any nutter I stared watching harmless videos like long videos in 15 minute section videos about JF Kennedy and also the clones then it got all serious and it was scary stuff scary cos I was on some nasty K2 weed that left me overthinking and paranoid but it was still believable until they pushed the boat out.  It left me unhinged and thinking radical cos I actually thought Aaliyah was murdered and I was in this whole conspiracy and my meeting with Aaliyah when she came to my school in 1997 was linked to her death some how or I was cursed was the other one. This was after watching countless videos on YouTube to do with Aaliyah including all her videos looking for clues but alas I couldn’t find nothing this was in the 2010s by the way when there was no mute button for it and I was looking for the truth even though I really didn’t need to.  Even though I couldn’t find any truths in her music videos and also interviews YouTube filled up my box with countless videos that had convincing clips that looked like the truth like the backmasking of popular songs that if you play it backwards you will get a usually satanic message like worship the devil or worship me that is linked to the illuminati or satanic clips in the music videos which is meant to be worshipping the devil, the illuminati or is linked to the butterfly monarch and is where they are sex kittens/slaves to the rich and famous which sounds interesting. I believed all the above and more and liked the fact even though I was against it but I liked the fact of this higher foreseers who control us and the rich and famous pulling those strings one by one and some of the rich and famous being sex kittens and secretly  worshipping the devil and illuminati it sounded so interesting but scarily real. Watching the videos on YouTube about conspiracies gave me my own idea to reverse some of my own songs I had and one of them Aaliyah’s I Care 4 You that song really scared me and though played normally it sounds like a song about love or what not but played backwards there are some horrible lines that makes it seem she was laughing behind our back and nasty name calling like she hates us or me at that point. It really did shook me up and made my mental health even worse but it was a state at that point as it was due to binge watching conspiracies on YouTube was one reason it didn’t go with the K2 I was smoking either. It was pretty dark stuff and mostly related to the next people I’m about to talk about Beyonce and Jay Z the so called king and queen pins of the illuminati.   

THE JAYONCE COMPLEX

Long live the days when Jay Z was just a hustling rapper and Beyonce was that chick from Destiny’s Child boy has time moved fast. I don’t know what it is but for some reason they are putting a X over Jay Z, Beyonce and even their kids. Every two minutes they are speculating on YouTube on them two and they are some serious allegations and some silly ones like news just in Beyonce wore Aaliyah’s skin in order to keep Jay Z like geez Jay most people would ask them to dress up as them for Halloween and make another baby if you know what I mean. I mean it’s ridiculous that people would believe it and something so far fetched. For those who don’t know and hasn’t watched any conspiracy videos on YouTube Beyonce and Jay Z have been accused of being top members of the Illuminati and devil worshipers and have been since Beyonce got with Jay Z and they later got married and had kids together. This is also linked to the Hova sign (seen above) which resembles a pyramid which is linked to the pyramid and all seeing eye on the Dollar currency and the all seeing eye is traced supposable to the illuminati which they scream what Jay Z and the others who signed and not signed to his label are referencing when they do it. One of worse things and something that is brought up a lot is Jay Z killed Aaliyah so Aaliyah can be replaced by Beyonce. This is mostly linked back to the Hova sign which Aaliyah was seen posing in a picture. It can also go as far as saying the Hova sign was a sign that Beyonce has successfully taken over Aaliyah when Beyonce first done the sign. I really don’t know where to start with this as there was so much I went through with everyone being accused like Missy Elliott the madame in this, Ginuwine, Da Brat and so many more including her own uncle who did get a substantial payment when Aaliyah died so say. I really can’t see the resemblance between Beyonce and Aaliyah and if anything they should say she was to replace Michael Jackson as she’s on the same stature now and as much as I love me some Aaliyah AKA Baby Girl I really don’t see her on the same performance wise now like big sell out shows and top selling albums and streams in this current state I mean in 2025 or anything before 2005. Everyone know she was moving into acting and was going to be Neo in the Matrix but she died in the plane crash in 2001 before filming but she had a number of film appearance before her death. I really do see her still acting and appearing on things like Empire or even some guest appearances in TV in Sitcoms and serious stuff she might not even still be singing and touring if she was alive today. The other thing is which seems pretty harsh to say but is a valid comment so I say it but would she still be relevant in 2025 in the music industry and have a sell out out grand tour like Beyonce has. As I said I love me some Baby Girl but I’m being fair and just asking some simple questions we all have to ask ourselves and FYI I’m am and was Aaliyah’s top fan. The other allegations that are being made is Jay Z is drugging Beyonce to  keep her in a bad and controllable state, Beyonce does witchcraft against people and countless other rumours and allegations. What’s even worse is there are people coming out and backing up these wild claims and becoming the next sensation for a bit. I mean I’m not being funny but until I see actual proof of these claims I’ll treat it as just another wild allegation or claim made by a hater or someone they think they are in the know and spreading these claims for likes and profit or just because they think they are in the know. I’m not saying Hollywood is not satanic I’ve worked in the outskirts of the Hollywood zone and been in the Hollywood zone when I was a dummy, a music assistant for Ant Records and noticed a stale feel to the place but most people were nice actually it’s true what they say it’s always about money and how much or what you got but everything is superficial and showy. So I do believe that but I don’t believe they worship the devil no more as I haven’t seen real blatant proof apart from what YouTube channels have said and pointed out which is in my opinion all lies and false facts and something that should be cracked down on to save our soul and sanity.             

AT AGE 40 GAS NO LIGHT REVEALS ALL

Me and my friend Arctic Fox laugh at the silliness of some of the titles and thumbnails on YouTube like the silly titles like At Age 80 They Reveal What We What We Was Thinking Along and those silly time traveling videos you have to be mental to believe and this is me not trying to be horrible about their believes. The fact is like all conspiracies on YouTube there isn’t enough evidence they promise to show proof but don’t actually give you anything to believe in and is something that has been photoshopped for sure when they do show the so called proof. Clickbait comes to mind and the proof was so say in the thumbnail now I wasted up to 15 minutes and still you haven’t showed me nothing what a complete waste of time and energy. I mean there is nothing wrong with it really and I do count that as harmless fun even though most of it is clickbait but it does frustrate me because people lose their mind to it and end up in some bad predicament all because the hater or so say knowing person gets on their high horse and start galloping around. Get down from there and walk like a real man or woman or anything below or above. I mean it really does put me off people when I start or did start believing the lies like when I heard the rumour Rihanna gave Chris Brown Herpes a sexually transmitted diseases and was so called uncurable and the reason why Chris Brown attacked Rihanna in that car incident I went off the two. It was all I could think about when I saw them in the online pictures and music videos and that is the downside to hearing gossip online and in your daily life. They even go as far as saying that people like Rihanna, Beyonce and countless others can’t carry babies no more as their uterus is damaged from the uncurable STDs or STIs Sexual Transmitted Infection. Even though this is false as Beyonce and Rihanna and the others have all had babies they carried themselves but they say they are fake bumps and fake pregnancies if you insist sir or madame. There was a big conspiracy that Beyonce was wearing a fake bump with proof of a picture that did appear to be a bit frumpy but anyone who has watched someone go though pregnancy and maybe countless times the woman is usually a bit frumpy during the start of the pregnancy which means looks like she or he has a cushion underneath the top and it’s not proper rounded we all have had the cushion underneath the top and pretended to be pregnant for a laugh and giggle or you might have been pregnant and know what I’m talking about.      

IN CONCLUSION

In short conspiracies videos and talking about conspiracies are fun to do but can lead you down dangerous paths and dark alleys which isn’t good for your mental health or your wellbeing. The other thing as well it can leave you feeling or being stupid and there is enough crazy and stupid in this world to go around. There’s nothing wrong about talking about conspiracy or watching conspiracy videos or browsing generally online but it should be treated with a pinch of salt and until you get solid proof it shouldn’t be taken serious. Whatever the case most of the people who perpetuate these rumours and conspiracies are mostly liars and they are unhinged and have some sort of agenda behind there wild tales or they are just hating cos they are either racist, sexist, a religious nut or something else. Always remember wait for the proof before going ahead and cancelling them or striking them off your fav list it’s the decent thing to do and saves you ending up looking stupid and insane in some cases. 

Dystopia VST Plugin [FREE DOWNLOAD]

May 19, 2025

DYSTOPIA VST PLUGIN
[FREE DOWNLOAD]

I wanted to make another VST plugin, so here it is, my next project, bringing you edgy and dystopian sounds for your music. I used a keyboard that a friend gave me to make the sounds, and then I used FXs to change the sound into something more different. I also used Romplur and free photo-shopping software called Gimp to put it together and make it into a VST. I was inspired by something I read and mentioned Electronic Dystopia, which is something I do now and then, and I already made a sample pack with the same title, but I’m happier with this one. I’m really into my dystopia music, and the subject is quite interesting, and now I think about it, I wouldn’t like to live in a dystopian or utopian world and that we are good the way we are in this crazy world. I think the world we are living in is a dystopian one, as no matter where you turn, there’s a bit of craziness, and everyone is losing their minds. I made the demo tracks below with Electronic music in mind, but I think there are a few sounds you could use in other genres, like Electronic Dance Music, just give it a go.

DEMO VIDEO

DEMO AUDIO

FREE VST DOWNLOAD

[Download not found]
[Download not found]

Living My Best Life; My Journey With Music Downfalls & Success

January 14, 2025

IN THE BEGINNING THERE WAS JACK

In order to explain my journey with music, the downfalls and my success I have to rewind it right back to the start when I was only four years old. The decade was 1980 a different time, to say the least, and was still a happy non-restricted world where you can do things that you can no longer do. The UK was under suppression from the reign of Margaret Thatcher who was the UK’s Prime Minister and was the leader of the Conservative Party and for those who are not in with their UK politics, she and the party are the equivalent of the American Republican Party. She was dubbed the “Iron Lady”, a nickname that became associated with her uncompromising politics and leadership style whilst others called her Margaret Thatcher the milk snatcher after she withdrew free school milk from children over seven in 1971, earning her the nickname. In the 1980s during her time as prime minister, the Thatcher government enacted Section 28, a law that opposed the “intentional promotion” of homosexuality by local authorities and the “promotion” of the teaching of “the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship” in schools. She did help the economy grow in uncertain times after several crashes in the market but this was all off the backs of the poor which she sanctioned quite heavily whilst making it easier for the rich to get richer. This caused quite a repression here in the UK and people were divided for and against her and the party she ran but never the less she was respected by some and kind of looked up to her as the role model of the woman-by-woman and a straight-talking get the job done lady from the men’s point of view. With so many cutbacks and taxes made directly against the low-poverty suburbs, it was the illegal rave scene that helped dampen the youth of the time’s repression and hate for her and the party she led or anyone who would be as sheepish enough to follow along and be dare I say submissive to her antics. The mid-80s was the birth of House music and the start of the illegal rave scene which started after partyers came back from Ibiza wanting to carry on with the party and what started as small events quickly grew and became large-scale operations all over the UK but abruptly came to end in 1992 when new laws came into force in respect to how loud the music should be,  disbursing large crowds of partyers and confiscate equipment. This was after a few deaths after they digested pure Ecstasy or MDMA  and after the newspapers kept picking up the story and running sensational headlines about the illegal parties that were taking place.  The events were hosted by promoters who you would pay something like £10 to gain entry to the all-night and all-day party only ending when the crowds were too thin. During the second Summer Of Love, named after the sense of community and the atmosphere brought to mind the first Summer of Love, in 1967, when all was peace and love and was from the summer of 1988 to the summer of 1989 it wasn’t restricted and promoters could host these mostly free parties and not be trouble with the law or made their mission or even life difficult. It was the new decade of 1990 did and after so much talk from the press and the deaths of a few partygoers did they started to clamp down on such parties which ran the whole operation underground and the operation of running such parties was done in secret. To attend the party you needed to ring a mobile which was a premium number and was handed out by trusted associates who would work alongside the promoters to get the crowds in. After the clamp down it made it harder to give such numbers out leading people down fake paths, not getting the right number or not being given the right location which lost them some of their customs and following. By the end of it around 1992 when new laws came into force it became a widespread problem and people stopped looking for such parties spending their time more practically at home with loved ones, friends and family growing out the party scene. The parties were hosted on other people’s property like fields and abandoned buildings and meant loud music throughout the night and day, damage to property and drunk and drugged-up crowds and didn’t go unnoticed by the people who lived near these events. Due to the large crowds during the Second Summer Of Love, the police had no power to disburse crowds and bring down the sword on DJs, promoters and live acts who would now work against the police to host these parties. It was a different time back then and a time unlike today where people find it easier to kill the vibe back then it was about having fun and not being a party pooper so to speak even if that meant breaking the law in later years. 

SUNRISE BACK TO THE FUTURE

The 12th of August 1989 which was a Saturday was one of the changing points of my life and partly made me the person I am today. It was late around 10ish at night which isn’t that late in my eyes but is for the four-year-old me. My mum caught wind of an event happening in a place called   Longwick in Buckinghamshire and she really wanted to see some live acts as at some or even most events you would get some sort of live performance by underground artists who were popularised by rave culture. I have a brother older than me by a couple of years and we each used to have a babysitter to look after us while my mum went out and let her hair down. As my brother was babysat by this person and I had my own babysitter and on the pretence that I would sleep the night away it was decided that I would go with my mum to this event. The event was called Sunrise Back To The Future and was if not the biggest event the Acid House promoters Sunrise and Back To The Future put on. It was hosted on a field off the M25 (a motorway/highway junction) and brought in thousands of people on this one field to party the night away. Being in the car on the motorway/highway and seeing in the distance what I now know to be a Ferris wheel and other fairground rides I thought that was funny I didn’t know they did circus at night and was new to me. Also to explain it wasn’t just Acid House music and live acts there were bouncy castles,  coffee stands, fairground rides, face painting and so much more and involved smaller businesses around the UK in order to put on the show. I remember walking through the field of the carpark and into the crowd and seeing all these people who looked aggressive but were friendly like anything which was confusing. It was also confusing seeing people on this field in dusk light due to the stage lights and other lights dotted around I really couldn’t put two and two together and was wondering what all these people were doing and being up so late or though I was four so being up in this darkness. Like my mum predicted I went back to sleep up until I was awoken by the promoter onstage who thanked the other promoters and took a five-minute breather for everyone to soak up the sunrise which was coming over the horizon and such a beautiful thing to look at. This was another turning point for me as I had never seen the sun peer over the horizon before and I started to wonder about the sun and its purpose. Thanks to UK kid’s shows like Playdays a popular children’s TV show from the 80s and early 90s I knew it was called The Sun but I didn’t know its purpose or understand the solar system but I did know or wonder that the sun was very hot due to the proximity of being close to it.  The crowd clapped, cheered and whistled as we all took several glances at the new day’s sun before the live acts came on the stage to perform in front of the crowd and carry on with the party vibe which was in full swing.  

.  

The live acts were throughout the night and early morning and even had backup dancers.  There was  Cry Sisco who performed their house hit Afro Dizzi Act. I was asleep throughout their performance but I did see them for a minute or two before falling back to sleep again but they did their thing and got the crowd moving.

 

 Ez-Posse now goes under the name Feral Is Kinky who did her smashing hit Everything Starts With A E. I was awake for this performance and was another groundbreaking moment as the male backup dancers were voguing on stage and my mum had the videography to Madona’s Immaculate Collection and I watched it several times so I was trying to put two and two together on what they were doing and if it was connected to that lady in the Vogue video which was always on in the background and one of my mum’s favourite Madonna’s songs at that time.

 

Doug Lazy who performed his bass drop anthem Let It Roll. Again another groundbreaking moment as the backup dancers who were energetic and giving some was something I had seen before in the videos but still was new to me. I think it was in one video maybe MC Hammer or someone similar but they were dancing in the New Jack form thrusting their body and acting as the hype man and woman on the stage. They even did the running man a popular 80s dance move where you stand on one spot and move your legs like you are running but to the rhythm of the beat. That was my favourite act as the bass was pumping and I enjoyed his rapping and the dancing.

 

And lastly, Razette who later went under the name Lamya and R.I.P. to her she was such a good artist such a shame. She sang her well-known song Ready For Love which was the female answer to Raze’s song Break For Love and sang in French but there is an English version too which I prefer as it’s less orgasmic and more singing.

 

Also, there were live DJs on the decks and spinning those records like the Young Carl Cox. He is a British house and techno club DJ, radio DJ and record producer He is now the  Highest-Paid Techno DJ in the World with a massive $16 Million Net Worth but started from the underground DJing in clubs and illegal raves. 

And also Paul “Trouble” Anderson a British DJ and a pioneer of the London club and warehouse scene in the 1980s, 1990s, and 2000s who sadly passed in 2018 so R.I.P. to him too.

 

FLYER BOY

At the age of around seven around 1992 and with my mum after she did some successful promoting and was looking to earn some quick change I became a flyer boy. We would stand in the centre of Bristol and give out flyers and tell them where the parties were hosted which was my mum’s and other people’s job since it was now a guarded secret and not something that would be shared with you. The talent of the time included Jungle/Drum and Bass MCs The Ragga Twins, DJ Hype a well-known Jungle and Drum and Bass DJ and Producer, Jungle/Drum and Bass MCs MC Skibadee R.I.P.  and MC Shabba D the duo who were always on stage with each other battling each other in a friendly manner with witty one-liners and funny punchlines and Jungle/Drum and Bass Producer and DJ Roni Size and Jungle/Drum and Bass producer and DJ Nicky Blackmarket all came down to see where they were playing next as sometimes it was so hidden not even the people on the roster knew where they were playing next and was up to the promoters and flyer boys and girls to tell them where it was going to be hosted. Even though House wasn’t meant to rival Jungle/Drum and Bass and Jungle/Drum and Bass wasn’t meant to rival House it still was brought up quite a few times the nature of Jungle which was only popular with mainstream who liked Break Hardcore a genre that spawned from the UK rave scene during the early 1990s and combines four-on-the-floor rhythms with breakbeats.  They would bring up the same thing which was it wasn’t as soulful as House and lacked soul but some who liked it said it made them skip. People were more used to House and Dance music which was growing popular around the same time with the songs by Snap – Power released in 1990 and their other track Rhythm Is A Dancer released in 1992 and Nightcrawlers – Push The Feeling On which was released in 1992 and a house track. But at the time House music was being dominated by the Roland 303 Bassline which is commonly known for making Acid House so people were getting tired of the new Acid House sound even though it wasn’t that new but wasn’t as used as seen in the early 90s when Acid House grew popular and most House tracks included the Roland 303 Bassline in their tracks. The two songs that catastrophe Jungle/Drum and Bass are M-Beat featuring General Levy Incredible a Jungle track and released in 1994 and Baby D – Let Me Be Your Fantasy a Drum and Bass track and released in 1992. Both songs made both Jungle and Drum and Bass mainstream and broadened the horizon for the genres and also made it more popular to both listen to and go out raving as there was now a demand for it. Also notable is Goldie who is a Jungle/Drum and Bass producer and DJ of the early 90s when he released his timeless classic Inner City Life in 1994 people were automatically hooked due to the softness of the song is the easiest way to explain it and wasn’t like anything that was made before in both Drum and Bass or Jungle which Jungle is more harder and edgier, especially in older works but so is Drum and Bass really. Even though Inner City Life wasn’t a mainstream chart-topper it was still highly sought after and people couldn’t get enough of the soft tone just the chilling vibe it had to it making it a staple in Drum and Bass and a song that can be played without getting bored of it. But going back a few spaces now I explained some who is who’s so to speak The Firestation was the meeting point for promoters, DJs, up-and-coming artists, A&R, flyer boys and girls you name it. It was called The Firestation as you guessed it, it was once a fire station that got turned into a music studio before they moved to the outskirts of Bristol’s town which is the outskirts of a place in Bristol called St Paul’s. Meetings were held there other than a lot of business chatter and music-making and saw the UK’s top artists of the 90s underground music scene pass through. Bristol is known for its production other than its deep connection with the slave trade and the trans-Atlantic crossover so it wasn’t unusual to see out-of-towners come to Bristol to earn that paycheck or to get connected with their ancestors and has seen some top names just walking around before or after they took the launch but mainly before. The Firestation was no exception  and there was always someone famous or about to launch and become famous or was about to make it big time and bring home the fish supper so I was custom to seeing all sorts of people and plus my dad worked for a council and was always at some sort of do so I knew how to be professional. One thing I enjoyed whilst giving out the flyers is looking at the cool graphics they would print on them and made me decide to do something in graphic design when I got older. The picture seen above of the Fantazia New Year’s Party was one I gave out and used to give me the creeps as the highlighter light to the eyes with the cut-off forehead and blank stare really gave me the willies but was my favourite flyer I saw and gave me the idea of becoming a graphic designer.

MUSIC MAKER (PART 1)

As I probably told you in past posts and in my bio of all my socials I learned how to play the piano and keyboard when I was 6-7 when my gran who is an awesome keyboardist and organist taught me how to play. My first keyboard was a portable Casio before my fingers got flexible and I moved on to the piano. I also took piano lessons when I was taken on by a trained piano teacher who taught me warm-ups, scales and playing passages. I spent a lot of time at the Firestation where I used to hang around there during the weekends and also do the flyer round which by nine years old I was doing on my own. They were always so friendly and made me feel welcome but despite this, I felt like the third wheel as when I was just hanging around I was doing nothing and added nothing to the equation like all the people I saw there. This led me to leap into action by being a little helper around the studio and doing my bit to contribute but this still wasn’t enough. For whatever reason which I can’t remember I felt I had to prove myself and I so wanted to play on all the keyboards they had but never dared to just walk up to one and start playing not with the heavy eyes of the crowd who wasn’t saying anything at all and was me being silly. I used to go home and play Incredible and play notes on my Casio mastering the one trick pony playing one or two keys played repetitively over the rhythm of the beat and also coming up with my own house patterns. I also spent time writing songs and raps which I was getting very good at by the time I was seven. The big day came when I finally could prove myself when I blurted out I could play the keyboard as it wasn’t something I mentioned I also told them how I was practising with different songs and rhythms. I also told them how  I could play a certain pattern to which they replied go on then. Nervous as now I had a whole crowd looking at me and I used to hate when people stared at you or breathed down your neck which is something they never did. I got on the keyboard and began to play the pattern to which they had nothing but good things to say and started to see my potential immediately after that. Then onwards I used to go there to play on the many keyboards and what started as a little joke of me playing their songs for them or contributing mostly turned into me being allowed to add my own input which included playing the keyboard and songwriting. I was also good at finding the right melody in vocals which is something I’m still good at. Kele Le Roc is a British R’n’B and UK Garage singer who is best known for her UK Garage song she did with Sticky a UK Garage producer Things We Do For Love my favourite UK Garage track and her more famous song here in the UK that you might know if you are into your UK Garage, My Love. UK Garage is part of the rave scene and started early 1990s when the genre started to evolve into what we now recognise as UK garage and speed garage. This evolution occurred when DJs like DJ EZ and DJ Sneak took the original Chicago house sound and combined it with the more aggressive and harder-edged sounds of Detroit techno. Kele was at the Firestation and on the outskirts of town quite a lot and helped make the sound of UK Garage by coming up with melodies and other counterparts for their signature sound and using her voice and what I would call callbacks repeating what the person sang like or tones. At the time I was practising my arpeggios a type of broken chord in which the notes that compose a chord are individually sounded in a progressive rising or descending order. She liked how it sounded and asked for a recording or it might have been me playing and recording it as my young nimble fingers could glide over the keys nowadays I’m clumsy and I was also fast. The recording and it’s not clear to me if it’s the exact same copy I recorded it doesn’t matter but that later on became part of her most famous UK Garage song called My Love. For this, I got some credit and some street cred and gave me the courage I needed to be more vocal about things and what they said which was basically don’t suffer in silence and never listen to the hating ass skinny bitches which is something I took on all the way to my adult life and beyond. 

ALGORITHIMS

Before 1998 before my own bump with the internet, I used to go to the library and rent books. I was heavily into computers and it used to amaze me the things you can do with computers although they were still limited.  I’d tune into computer shows on TV and get all the facts since I wanted to be a graphic designer or by now work on computers for some fancy high-tech company. I picked up the scent of algorithms after discovering it in an old clip from the 70s where he’s on a computer playing with algorithms. The thought of it being an untouched territory and something you could use with your own voice and music really excited me and had me down to the library in no time to rent some books on algorithms. I really was schooled and learnt a lot even getting a big tip-off from one book which I can’t remember what it was now but whatever it was it’s a dud by nowadays standards. Before I knew it I was a mini algorithm specialist and was tipping the artists to get to grips with algorithms as one day when the algorithm takes over computers and the world their music will be left in the dust. A quick lesson on algorithms they are a set of instructions you give to the computer in order to get some sort of response from it. The more higher the excitement the more it will give out which is how you play the algorithm game. Also by feeding it information like who you are or who your favourite Hollywood star, rapper, singer etc etc is the computer ranks the person in the hierarchy of popularity and gives out a score. That score determines where you are in the popularity hierarchy and rewards you by flushing IE and is the reason why you play the algorithm game promote you by putting you higher up in the search engine for example. The computer knows one thing and that is legendary due to the fact that and after the rise of the internet that person say Michael Jackson got x amount of clicks and was for example through the roof that person must be popular so let’s see what else we can found about him. The computer spends months looking for the best example and the biggest achievements and if it does find something for example Michael Jackson doing the Moonwalk it will scan it and make a copy but also bump them up ten notches as you are now a friend of the computer since you both can work together to a mutual agreement and it thinking you are just like it. The other thing to note and something I discussed heavily with the stars is that in order to get some points you must be known to the computer and you can’t have that one song that blows up or a viral video and get recognized it takes painstaking tasks you feed your computer or algorithm to let it know who you are and how popular you are. This takes a lot of explaining or alternatively, you pick stuff you know the algorithm will like and hopefully do a backend check on you to see where you fit in all this. Shocking the algorithm by picking up how many hateful comments, dislikes or you just have the wrong mould of the body or part of the body could mean being switched off and the algorithm picking someone else it’s been eying up behind your back. It’s quite a judgemental and hateful process and if you mess with it it will start to mess with you. 

CHILDREN'S TV

I took a job as a cleaner for the hotel chain Holiday Inn when I was 16 after working in The Royal Marriott hotel as a conference and banquette under work experience but was a part-time thing. My main duties as a cleaner for the Holiday Inn were cleaning toilets, cleaning the gym, cleaning the corridors, reception area everywhere but the rooms they had chamber maids for that. I worked there for about a year before I quit but I quickly got back on the horse when I went to the library to use their computers and sign up for an agency which was taking people for TV work around the realm. I didn’t think they would  take me as I had no experience in TV work and was losing my confidence every day that passed but long and behold I was accepted and got my first job in Kid’s TV and thereafter in several well-known kids’ shows like Sooty And Sweep which was a right laugh and if you could understand poor Sue trauma. For those who don’t know Sue is a panda and babysitter to the troublesome twins Sooty and Sweep who are not twins Sooty is a yellow bear and Sweep is a dog but are twins as they are so alike. In order to bribe them and to what she thinks will stop them from becoming so hyperactive she gives them a bottle of pop each but every time it backfires and they torment her with certain antics like pieing her or making a terrible mess. Being a Panda known for their anger she gets enraged and she locks them in the basement where she takes a nap and tries to calm down but always forgets about them and leaves them in there for hours at a time. One day she has enough and hires extra help from a nanny who she knows Sooty and Sweep will be the demise of him but is desperate and not to be a burden to her boyfriend when she gets home which you never get to see her at home or her boyfriend. This was all backstory that the makers made up for a bit of fun in the board room and was to bring a bit of adultness into the work field. Working for the TV show Sooty And Sweep was a messy affair and involved cream, water, goo and a lot of other things that I used to stink of going home on the bus but was so funny and fun. I used to be stuck in a small cramped box where I would do multiple tasks while they recorded but was close to the action. I was in the box as I was hidden from the camera’s view and controlled certain things like levers that I would pull.  I also worked on shows like The Tweenies, The Fimbles and Topsy Turvy and oh I got the weave for Rosie from CITV’s Rosie And Jim, I told her curly is in she wanted that European hair I was like next she be going strawberry blonde next she’s ginger.

MEETING THE QUEEN

During the time at the agency the Queen or the Queen’s Staff put out a royal invitation to well there was a whole list actually but one of them was calling up the puppeteers a person who controls a puppet to make it appear alive. I had just finished working loosely as a puppeteer under agency work and the director liked how I played the puppet which was loose which is how they like it may I add and was part of the finished product of the show and got ending credits rights my name in the ending credits. Also in my early days, I worked for a man I can’t remember his name but he used to run the Punch & Judy Show a puppet show alongside the sea fronts as it’s an English seaside tradition. He too liked the way I handled the puppets and after the show and whilst putting them away I would have a quick go messing about with them. He taught me certain things like how to manuva my arm and fingers for maximum effect and do things like how to hold an object in the hand of the puppet and how to catch the baby the infamous line Punch uses as he tosses the baby in the air or sorry thrusts the baby in the air. He taught me everything and took me on the road for day trips to sea sides and other places to perform the Punch & Judy show. Thinking about it in the letter with the royal stamp and everything they were looking for people who could perform the Punch & Judy Show and I knew just the person so I took the job to him tracking him down which was the hardest part. He was so happy when I told him he had a royal appointment and I didn’t think I was going to go as I was looking for the next job the agency would give me. But he asked me to come along which I couldn’t refuse as 1. It was a great opportunity and 2. He asked me along and I was kind of privileged for him to ask me since how professional he was and have been doing it for decades now. We went to Glouster where the show was meant to be for one of the royal’s children but they were a no-show. Also to explain we already set it up and were ready to go and the no-show meant there was no one to entertain. But guess who came walking through the door requesting us to carry on with the show the queen. This made both of us feel nervous but doing as we were told and not to waste the time we spent setting it up we carried on and put on the show exclusively to the queen who was the only person apart from us behind the curtain in the room. She enjoyed it laughing at the jokes and even said “Oh no you didn’t” after the “Oh yes I did” line one of us gave and is a back and forth between the crowd and Punch sometimes Judy. That and the fact she requested us to carry on with the show shows showmanship and also showed me a different side to the queen I quickly glanced in the looking mirror and saw a nice kind old woman. 

AMERICAN UNIVERSTY

Knowing enough about algorithms and being guided by my peers who I look up to I signed up for Harvard University to study algorithms and computer design. They told me so much about the university and one of the attributes which I liked they make leaders who make a difference globally.  I actually signed up a couple of years before but never heard anything back from them until around a year or two before September 11th. I flew out not so long after they contacted me after they told me I could be placed on their campus I just had to fly out and see if it was for me and sign the papers. When September 11th happened in 2001 I thought my career was over and I never get to study abroad as planned. In case you are wondering why didn’t I just go to Oxford or Yale well Harvards specialized in Algorithms but especially computer design and none of the other universities had that and I fancied the idea of studying somewhere new and where I could concentrate the most and not be distracted. Plus I saw the ad on TV after the university was heavily discussed by my peers so I grew to fall in love with the university and them being this university that could change your life and damn it did it change my life. Not only did I study algorithms, a bit of psychology and some after-class classes like how to make the perfect drum pattern hard things to do back then and were also knowledgeable and insightful. I walked away with my own algorithm which is all that I explained already but just to recap it was based on old findings that to get some excitement out of the algorithm it had to be legendary and each person or thing gets marked out of points which is ranked and sometimes rewarded if it gets a high reading. Also and most importantly I joined a cause and helped give back to the earth which is something I enjoy doing. My algorithm was partnered with Charities around the globe to make my own impact and is something I am proud to say. My mind is foggy so I can’t remember but I distinctly remember being in a sermon with a black guy who I remember him saying he wanted to become the first black president of America it could have been Barack Obama. For those who don’t know and aren’t American Harvard’s is infernus of having powerful leaders of tomorrow do talks about issues and their own missions to give insight and so you can feel inspired and go on to make your own path of light. Other people, I could have sworn I saw there was Comedian and actor Pete Davidson and the spitting image of female rapper Erica Banks who I believe is her cousin since she was studying management and public relations liaison and said she had a cousin who she was going set up for life but was still very young. Just looked it up Erica was born in 1998 which means if true she would have been four when that conversation happened but I don’t even know if is the same female rapper I was on the hunt for but nonetheless I love and rate her.

SOUND PICKER

Thanks to my time at Harvard they found me a placement with the gaming company Rockstar. Now I don’t need to explain who Rockstar is but just for reference, they made the Grand Theft Auto series as well as Manhunt, Red Dead Redemption, Bully, Max Payne, The Warriors and L. A Noire. Because I now wanted to do something in music, games or computer design they phoned up Rockstar and asked if I could join their team with a placement that was initially a year internship.  Around two years before I worked with Rockstar I saw an ad in the black newspaper The Voice which said something like do I like and know my music, are you into computer designing and do I want to become part of the team. I answered yes to all of them and liked the idea of working as a team and something I like to do a lot.  So two years before I worked for Rockstar as part-time hours around 5 days per week I answered an ad in a newspaper and didn’t hear anything back from them and wasn’t until I went to Havard that they phoned after the studying bit was over and meant you had to practise then did I got accepted. As I said it was originally an internship but they already knew who I was after going through my application and realising my potential for the knowledge of songs and tastes did they put me to work as a sound picker. My duties were organizing songs and files in order of gameplay but also organizing files into the yes and no piles the yes pile contained all the songs that could be allowed to be used in the game and getting the copywrite owner permission to agree to them using their song or songs in some cases in their gameplay. The no pile were the ones that were refused to use in the gameplay and were never used. Other duties also included playing and organizing songs into categories so the sound development team could play them back and work and find out if they could get the rights and if they could will it sound good in the game, picking the best songs that represented the gameplay and its surroundings. The office was in Warwickshire here in the UK which is 88 miles away, and the journey takes approximately 1 hour and 34 minutes from Bristol. Due to this, I would sleep in a hotel that was paid for and go back on the weekends only to do it all again Monday morning. The project was a secret project in which I had to sign contracts that said I couldn’t talk about any of what I saw or to speak to competitors which was True Crime in this case a Grand Theft Auto rip-off game. It lasted for two years on and off doing one year then coming back 6 months later to do some more work before the games were finished and the makers could sit in the shade for a bit hence how the work dried up. Not only that I was on a mission as they would say so I couldn’t hang around all day and pick and sort music I had places to be which they were aware of and were quite supportive of. Like all the previous places I worked or was at all the people were nice and again a right laugh I was constantly laughing as someone was making jokes and I met some of the characters from the game who were also quite friendly and a laugh to be around same with the development team they were the funniest. I can’t remember what number I was working on but quickly it was getting such a rotten response by mainstream media although it was also getting good reviews. It was unclear to me the knock-on effect of the side effects of the game as it does insights breaking into cars and stealing them at the lower level but on the higher level insights murder which as I said was unheard of even in the 2000s when it grew popular. The fact you could stab someone to death, run someone over until you kill them or even attack people with baseball bats was insight violence and not something  I wanted to stick my name to or though after it became the norm and there was no suggestion of it crime rate like knife crime and baseball attacks going up I wanted in and felt more comfortable or though I wasn’t that bad just a bit weary of dire consequences.

MUSIC MAKER (PART 2)

Explaining who is in the UK underground scene comes near the end of my musical journey and to the next bit of the power walk I did. Thanks to the time at the Firestation and the outskirts of Bristol town where I became more intertwined with making music and the relationship I grew with my peers also playing the keyboard for Kele Le Roc and Roni Size a Bristol-based Jungle/Drum and Bass artist from the 90s to present day and like all the Jungle/Drum and Bass acts that are still thankfully here still make guest appearances on stage and doing their own podcast and other podcasts with mix sets and interviews they are still chucka blocked being all pioners of Jungle/Drum and Bass and Kele Le Roc being a pioneer of UK Garage. But thanks to Kele Le Roc and Roni Size after playing on their tracks but they all get a shout as they all helped me along the way every last one of them as I was the growing star and associated with my time being a flyer boy of mostly Jungle/Drum and Bass events but some House and Hardcore as well and also being associated with the Sunrise event all roads led to Rome and riches. My music was evolving and I was always trying something out usually with a tape cassette which meant some of my best work came out over-saturated and leading to a muffle of sound which wasn’t good so I gave that up and just recorded the sounds and it sounded better. I was bursting with ideas and had a lot of different ideas that were and weren’t linked to the music I made but some were master plans that were ruined by change of law, change of perception or change of the internet.  So basically thanks to all that and the fact I worked damn hard and helped a lot of people along the way they suggested I should go to America again and work as what is called in the music industry a dummy but to put in a more non slangy word a music assistant. My duties were playing the keyboard over half-finished songs or coming up with suggestions on what or what would make them sound better, and testing music, writing lyrics and song arranging for different groups of people when I was assigned to work with them. Oh the bit I missed out it was known I was the child from Sunrise by most people who knew me or of me in and around Bristol after being spotted with the local talent who came to Bristol who also knew because either I told them or my mum did. In the quick interview where they asked me a few questions and one of them was an unknown name to me for Sunrise Back To The Future which threw everybody off including myself. This led me to be embarrassed as one person was already ushering me to the door whilst calling me in his own words a charlatan and expressing how he’s done with the frauds no joke. This led me to confess I never heard of the word before and was actually from Chicago. Oh, this is now in America on the outskirts of Hollywood on the safer bit of Hollywood LA. I was surprised how quickly came down after I confessed I didn’t know the slang term and went on to prove it by telling him something that only a person there would have seen and known unless you paid whatever the price it was to get the exclusive recorded footage that was recorded throughout the rave event from start to finish but my mum never got the video due to it becoming unpopular in the press and mainstream Britain I think. Also to mention the neighbouring label which was just a stone thrown away literally down the corridor the record company Atlantic Records owned some offices and studios within the same compound of the record company we were on which I can’t remember what it was called now I would like to say Ant Records but that may be incorrect but it ran alongside Defected Records the giant House label or I worked with Defected Artists to come up with something like song lyrics and I wrote a lot of songs over the time I was there and working with them. Do you know how many famous artists I saw just walking around in the corridors it was quite a few Toni  Braxton comes to mind who I briefly passed and her on-fire publicist who was putting out the word out that Toni’s vocals were for sale which means giving you the rights to some of her most famous song acapella versions. One was sold to someone in our section of the offices and studio the artist and track Shadow Child – So High which uses one of my favourite Toni Braxton songs apart from Freeway but the Toni Braxton song was called You’re Making Me High if you didn’t guess what the song title was from the Shadow Child title. The main artist I worked with is Dusky a House producer and like all good House and Jungle/Drum and Bass producers he’s also a DJ. I worked with him on finishing unfinished tracks, and coming up with melodies on the keyboard. testing music to an unknown audience in a place like Times Square and coming up with one-liners for others to record and use in his works, it was fun but nerve-wracking at times especially testing the music on the unsuspected audience.  I remember playing What I Never Knew first Dusky’s dark but melodic track and then a couple of days later to change the past a little I played Nobody Else to people who were just walking by getting on with whatever they were doing I did feel like a lemon but not by the content I was an outside me being English and everyone around me as nearly American so I felt like I stood out plus I had to carry this small but heavy and loudspeaker that would blast the music so I was essentially making myself a target or that’s what it felt like.  But it ended up alright as the music being played got a good response and after a while, I grew used to having to be the centre of attention even though that’s not me at all. I was paired with several Defected artists and other artists on the label I was working for but was really under Defected if I remember correctly. The track Dummy by Dusky apparently was named after my job after I expressed concerns even laughing at times that one was going to believe my roll sheet and especially that I helped make the tracks so he kindly agreed to name one of his songs after my job of being a dummy. The pay was good and they had so many benefits to go alongside the pay and could save you a bit of money and there were always opportunities which is the next bit. 

MUSIC MAKER (PART 3)

The next thing that came my way started around 1996 when I was when I was 11 and I was sent on my first quest. There was news given to me by my peers that there was a new genre of rave music was in its first process and Supa D a DJ was looking for people to help with the final process of playing the keyboard and coming up with melodies and test lyrics to test the styles of vocals used on the track. The quest as told by my peers meant flying out to somewhere in Spain I think it was Majorca to hunt for this DJ and sign up for the program which is what they are called or one name for it. But there was one trouble I was only 11 and Majorca never was the choice destination when my dad went on holiday and as he pointed out he was too busy working to go on a silly quest that he thought was going nowhere and I don’t blame him for that. I came up with the solution of me flying out to Majorca on this one-off mini holiday/quest at first he opposed to the idea and full out told me to stop going on about it. But the more I explained this was my payout and my chance to shine it was like he could see what I was saying and in the end he said yes I could but only once which I was and still am grateful for that. Flying out to Majorca with friends from my secondary school Fairfield Grammar where  I found the bar eventually after a couple of days and tries and it felt at times like I wasted my time. Someone gave me the name of the bar and street name which I jotted down beforehand which I found the bar after finding the correct street name and bar name which is why they call it a quest as it’s a hunt for something and a proper estursion. The next bit was a bit tricky as I didn’t just walk up to him and say hi such and such I hung back in the crowd and I was unsure if it was him or not so I thought I double check before I made the error of judgment. For whatever reason he might have seen me count beats as I always had a habit of working out what BPM they were using for that track that was playing and to do that you count beats in the song and work it out that way and I had a cheat sheet of doing much quicker and more importantly, more accurately which worked so it was always fun to do. After I went through several BPM check tests he waved me over and greeted me and welcomed me along. He explained that I wasn’t needed just yet and the final tests wouldn’t be until around 2003 and this was in 1996 so I was relieved not to be turned down for being too young being eleven at the time. Fast forward to the end of the last chapter, it was 2003 and as I waved goodbye or saw the end of my time with the record company I was under and Defected which as the well was drying up and I lost the original team I started with I felt isolated and alone and knew I wasn’t going to last due to my ongoing mental health problems and at times was making it worse plus the excessive of drinking and going out till late only having to be up early in the morning, stresses of workload as it was quite demanding I knew I had to quit quite soon anyway it was only part-time solutions. I came across Supa D again either back in the UK or over in America I really can’t remember but he said it was ready to be tested and the Bristol base was already in the process of starting testing so I began to test keyboards over tribal beats over the next couple of months also working the BPM range from fastest to slowest.

LAUNCH PARTY

Around April 2004 there was the launch party for the new rave genre UK Funky which ended successfully and with tracks to follow in and upcoming years to follow the launch was to celebrate the making of the nearly 10-year project that apparently didn’t go without any hiccups along the way like getting the beat to sit on top of the mix and the tribal bongo drum would lose its sharpness losing it’s distinct sound along the way. The launch party was held at my current address and a flat I have lived in since I was nearly 18 and I’m 40 in March. What started as a bit of music playing loudly and with a few people loitering outside later turned into a sea of people covering a football field of people. The launch party just one of many was held at my flat to prove to the haters what I was doing and also the windows were a one sheet that you could slide all the way back apparently it was a good choice to host a party with the speakers and sound system that wouldn’t smash the window. It was on the verge of new laws coming in that dealt with how many people could gather or the licence you needed to host such parties so it was lucky really that it happened.  It was hosted by the record company I was working for and saw some big names come down to this party after I gave out an invitation to them as an RSVP something I did not think they would take the invitation but they did and I was blown away by who was just hanging around in my living room and outside my flat. Thanks to the outputs of my internet connection they were able to hook up the sound system and a direct feed to Hollywood which meant live feeds were able to happen and also gadgets from the record company like the monitors and lights were put up there were also cables running downstairs from my living room where is where the sound system was and the speaker’s which was rested near the windows. It got busy at about noon where it brought quite a big crowd some people were just passing and saw what was going on and pulled up their cars to come and party and some people were on their way to work but pulled a sickie. It also brought all my neighbours out who couldn’t believe what was happening and who they were seeing it was so funny. I was hosting so I was making sure everyone was having a good time and they had a drink in their hand because there was a lot of alcohol just lying around and was paid for by the record company which meant free drinks for everyone and as much as you could drink which was nice. The party lasted until the next day around sometime in the morning when it died down and people were getting tired it was decided to call it a day and we packed up. It also brought all the A&R staff and artists and also some well-known DJs did a set so there were a lot of well-known people there. It was if not the best party I went to and I really can’t forget it in a hurry I still can’t believe it was hosted in my flat.      

END OF ERA

Unfortunately due to my mental health and the ever-growing changes I had to give it all up and settle for a more chilled life where down the years I forgot about all the stuff I had done and it wasn’t until more recent years did I remembered which got me back on music making. I did all these things whilst battling with my mental health and up until that point was manageable. It was either keep going and working for the record company which was demanding and full throttle or try and recover from past stresses and I chose my health over money which I kind of regret to this day but I’m happy with what I did and know I had to give it a rest at some point or be driven to the ground. Most of it was done in secret and was something I didn’t tell that many people as they would always hate and think less of me or say I was lying which was the main theme throughout my rise and fall. It was a different time back then and in the world, due to bass what others would call the rave scene there was a land of opportunities and being in the right circle meant I had access to those opportunities which I am thankful to have had. Nowadays those opportunities are gone and with the rise of the internet a different world to say the 90s and early 2000s in how you went about getting seen and heard. People would speculate about what I did and if you didn’t know about things like promoting a good way to get your foot in the door they wouldn’t know how easy it was to get those opportunities and how it built me up to my own success but of course came with the haters and naysayers who would say I was too young or even too stupid to get such opportunities but that never bothered me as I knew what I did and had the proof it laid in myself and to know they were just jealous of me and knew what I as doing but the hate was real. 

The Fame Game And The Controversial Rise Of The Downfall

January 3, 2025

THE RISE OF THE INTERNET

 I was born in the 80s 1985 to be exact so back then fame was a big deal and not something you could do willy-nilly and you had to have a talent and also something you would work ranks to get to the top and earn a top dollar or at least get some credit for say your singing abilities or stage presents or break boundaries which is one music is meant to be about. Music connects audiences and makes so many memories for the audience for good or for bad and we have that one song that reminds us of a good experience and thankfully that would never die out. Having to break down doors in order just to sing or be heckled for being quote-unquote the wrong colour isn’t new and as we should all know by now was something the greats of the singing and entertainment community had to overcome in the olden days. However, once again this is old news and something that still happens to this day.  It is more accessible if you will to become famous for any colour but it still is met with trolls, backlash and cancel culture. I will use Michael Jackson and Beyonce as a newer example but two people and Michael’s sister Janet Jackson too three people who with sold-out tours and worked their butts off to get that coin and recognition in this cold world. In my earlier years of being on this earth Prince, Madonna and Michael Jackson were the three who dominated the world with their talents and presence and in the 90s and 00s things changed since the rise of Paris Hilton, the rise of the internet and gossip outlets and magazines. This happened especially in the 2000s with the downfall of Britney Spears and her infamous meltdown and attack on the press. Also, the start of YouTube which was on Beta and had that boy I can’t remember his name but he did skits about his abusive mother who locked him in the basement and then came Shane Dawson. It’s funny actually on a side note as I was going to do a two-minute skit it didn’t rely on being over the top it was actually quite bitchy and did mean putting on a wig. Anyway, I didn’t do it in the end as funny as some of the skits were they were over the top and being copied by other people and some were just either stupid or damn mean. The internet changed after that and it was and still is but more than ever it was a place where you could get insightful information or tune in to a live stream which meant you were either dealing with a big spender or someone who got a deal with their internet company who always specialised in graphic design. I was lucky I had the internet when it first was publicly accessible around 1998 as my dad worked in the office for a council and it was mandatory to have it to access the ever-growing emails they receive from both clients and the office. Around the same time maybe a year or two after some libraries were giving free access to the internet but you had to book it up if it wasn’t free or alternatively come back when they weren’t being used. Having the internet at home was also quite expensive still and meant the good dial-up internet which meant slow loading speeds, computer freezing, and long waiting times to connect to the internet and countless other tedious problems you just couldn’t fix unless you were a computer technician. So going to the library for a few hours to post something in a forum, get advice or even message your favourite celebrity or singer/actor/actress and hope to get a response and they used to no they probably listen to the advice from their manager or publicists who tell them not to respond but you would be lucky to get a retweet nowadays for example. But basically having access to the internet was a big deal and something that at the time was either unaffordable or just not in the budget. When I first started on the Internet in 1998 around it was full of design companies and also forums but it wasn’t that much on there which is probably why most people didn’t buy into the Internet at first and they could get it for free at the library or in the office for people who worked in the offices. There was a big talk on the fate of the Internet and it was determined it should become a place for knowledge and fun stuff and something that should be accessible to all at reasonable prices and should eventually be free I’m still waiting for that to happen lol. So they basically made it all that and the internet as we know it or used to know was born. Oh and the rise of the webcam around the 2000s meant you didn’t need any technicians and cables running through your setup to stream live feeds which opened the door to Beta YouTube in my opinion which was unfiltered and uncensored which meant you could do or say whatever you liked apart from the cops who sometimes pick up on illegal active and come down on them. Also worth noting algorithms were still fun experiments for the nerd to have fun with there was no market or great reliance on using it and knowing. It was big social media companies on the internet today like YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, X formally known as Twitter rely on and were built on but is still something anyone can jump to you just need to know how to get attention and keeping attention. 

SUBSTANCE AND FLAVOURS

Fast forward to the present time and the change of the Internet and as we have seen it is technically easier than ever to get famous. I say technically as you still have to post lots for visibility and compete with others who are just like you or who copy you and other factors but you can have that one song or video or even tweet that blows up and you get handed what I would call the fame baton stick. I’m not saying it’s all the way a bad thing as I think it’s a cool thing for singers, actors and actresses, comedians, and producers like me to get some attention and most importantly not have to have an agent or label to manage but it’s definitely becoming an issue. Lil’ Kim is my favourite female rapper so I’m accustomed to potty mouth lyrics and quote-unquote trick me out with diamonds and pearls, eat my cat and you ain’t shit sentiments and I always favoured female Hip Hop other than male so nothing is shocking or new to me but the issue people are having or one of them is the two female artists who both jumped into the scene and are the current let’s say the current baton holders. 

Sexy Red (picture above) and Ice Spice are two questionable female artists in the current scene of Hip Hop and are known for their lack of substance in lyrics and like Ice Spice’s lack of substance and just shaking her ass on stage or in the videos. After that one song they did in Sexy Redd’s case Pound Town and in Ice Spice’s Munch people started to question the substance and the lack of it talking about the same old issues as Lil’ Kim and rappers around the same time did like Foxy Brown and Trina and also to mention Khia who Trina and Khia came after Lil’ Kim and Foxy Brown and was in the 2000s but followed on their now blueprint of female Hip Hop. Having the same style of rap throughout your whole catalogue or having foul lyrics which is the case for the pair of them is something that is overdone in the now Hip Hop world and things are becoming meaningless and soulless and just done for shock value instead of talking about real issues and your own issues like mental health which I think doesn’t get talked about enough and is glamorised and sensualised by the main media but that’s a different topic. Thanks to things like  Instagram and IG models and celebrities from all the range bodies are being glamorised and obsessed to the point normal people from normal lives are going under the knife to get that body they desire and be like the celebrity they always admired in pretty value with in some cases horrifying and regretting circumstances. Things are more how you look, what you got and what you are worth other than qualities you may have or actual talent and substance. I don’t really know much about Sexxy Redd or her music other than her booty hole is round.

However, Ice Spice was recently heavily pressed on YouTube with tiles like The End Of Ice Spice and YouTube commentaries talking about her two ex-friends who claim Ice Spice was horrible to and treated them dirty on tour and in their personal life and one of them claims she was bullied by Ice Spice in school. Also, the heavily talked about text conversations where Ice Spice called Niki Minaj being like her mum ungrateful but that’s again a whole new topic. Ice Spice uses the rap style of Drill music no no no actually drills are used on the tracks it’s a repetitive but catchy style that is used in New York Drill music and also UK Drill which replaced UK Grime here in the UK. In portions it’s enjoyable and something I personally can listen to for around two hours without getting bored of the same style of rapping. This is the case for Ice Spice who since her breakout track Munch has gone on to do the same song with a different beat with the same Drill style every song feels the same. The other thing that was talked about Ice Spice was accused of using the drug Ozempic to lose weight. For those who don’t know the drug is intended for people with Diabetes and also something I forgot to mention people fell in love with her assets her curves and ass so when she lost weight and lost those assets people mocked her and straight out told her we don’t like you any more now, you are a twig. Also, people began to notice the pattern of poo references in her music in one track she raps I don’t need a Diaper but I’m Miss Poopy and in another one, she raps and is the title of the track you think you’re the shit you’re not even a fart and has a fart sound on the track which was apparently a diss to fellow female rapper Latto in an ongoing beef between the two. This brings me to the next thing people have been talking about a lot and Ice Spice and Latto is one of them being flavours IE Bi-racial and pretty privileged. For those who don’t know Hollywood and the music industry you might as well say mainstream media have a preference and that’s either white or bi-racial people with killer looks and cheekbones and assets. The media is perpetuated with these images and rarely shares people with dark complexions or gives them chances. Thanks to things like slavery and also the repressions around the world black people as a whole don’t get given a fair chance and this is included in their day-to-day life too especially in Hollywood and in the music industry. Since the ancient days, people with lighter skin were seen as more attractive and seen as things like more trustworthy or friendly and also the soaps were used to become just like them and have a fairer chance or to become quote-unquote pretty. The psychological effect of bad history and the imagery of what must seemed like a white-dominated world in Hollywood and the media and also the effect of seeing racist imagery like black face and stereotypical stuff like being slow or eating watermelon thankfully people in the present day are starting to question and push back from making everyone accountable for what was said and done even if that meant digging in the vault and looking for evidence or making your favourite entertainer accountable for their actions. Tyra Banks is someone who comes to mind when talking about controversy and being made accountable. For those who don’t know who Tyra Banks is she’s a black supermodel and host to the infamous America’s Next Top Model TV show where contestants compete to have a shoot with Vouge and earn some money as well.  Now I won’t talk about the black face incident where the white women were made to use cosmetics to briefly change their skin colour as I believe that was done in good intent and should be an experience all non-racial people should experience. I was more thinking of the time Tyra told one contestant in the elimination process she was to straighten her hair as it was too curly and in another bit she said she was acting too black and that was the feedback she was getting from others. This is the problem in Hollywood, the music industry and in mainstream media as a whole and is not something I don’t care for or entertain. Being Bi-racial with both African and Scottish roots and with an understanding of who I am and where I came from and also the uphill struggle of black and bi-racial people as a whole I found that hard to watch when it first aired in the 2000s and it’s funny actually how it was brought up cos I was outraged and started to question Tyra’s alliance with her own people and the state of the model world when first watching it. I still believe prettiness comes in all shapes and sizes and skin tones. I see a lot of black women and think they are attractive they seriously don’t know what they are on about and that happens quite frequently. I really don’t understand why people could say that person can’t be attractive as they are too dark it doesn’t make sense to me whatsoever. There was a complete attack on bi-racial people all over social media and debates on mostly YouTube and TikTok saying we hated black people, we could do whatever we liked, we were not suppressed, we think a lot of ourselves and that was hard to watch. There was evidence of this with countless stupid bi-racial people being racist and being all that my gran would say pretty pretty in front of the camera and that was annoying as I hate people who make a show of themselves on camera and are obsessed with their looks it’s so annoying and also are racists, especially to their own race. I do understand though the complexity of it all and have seen for myself being me as an example of favouritism and unfair treatment but like I said I never did and never will stand for it and get called out and worked on as I hate unfair treatment and I hate the fact some people hate me because of my skin colour cos that’s the other thing I get it from both ends and beyond.

SORRY CANCELLED IT'S OVER PARTY

As I said holding someone accountable for their actions is very important and not something you should do carelessly or with ease. In some cases I have seen people jump on them for the littlest things come to find out it was misunderstood and was nothing or misinformation being spread about them and also the sorry (insert star here) it’s over party on X formally known as Twitter it was relentless and silly some were just to keep the party going of hungry Twitter users who most likely hated that person or the world but not everyone. In some cases, it’s done with a valid reason and this is due to the ever-growing rise of the internet and the realization and getting tired of the same behaviour shown by celebrities and them not revolving to be a better person. It used to be one rule for us one rule for them so to speak and the fact people, me personally used to make excuses and not believe the allegations made against them and put it down to the haters and clout chasers who are always lying and starting new schemes to get that dollar. Now you get held accountable and people are finding fewer excuses to make and are tired of toxic behaviour, misinformation and bad products. Being sold a lie is very easy for Hollywood and the music industry to do and it is all based on your image and public perception and also your own talents or used to be. So when it doesn’t meet our knowledge and requirements it’s easy to get hurt and feel betrayed and at times used or like most times betrayed as you sold me a fake image and was all based on greed, power and fabrications or though sometimes it was for the best and was done to keep number one happy yourself. Most importantly you feel stupid as you may have defended that person internally or vocally or made excuses for them so when you come to find out that person was fake or a bit of an excuse my tone but a bit of a prick or both you feel hurt and let down and more than ever more inclined to call them out not to make the same mistake of being complacent and accepting bad and toxic behaviour and also as it’s easier than ever to do without being jumped on but of course you always got the stans to watch out for and not be attacked by them for ringing bells or even criticizing that person or having a laugh in my case. Thanks to social media and cancel culture several celebrities and YouTubers have been cancelled and put under heavy scrutiny which has brought their problems to a lot of people’s attention especially their fans and unknown audiences. The ones I’ve been watching and have watched are the coverage of Jeffery Star, Mr Beast, Ice Spice, P. Diddy and James Charles with all the in-betweens like the Sugar Bear Gate incident. 

Jeffery Star a YouTube makeup guru and before that a singer on My Space and known for his controversial lyrics and imagery and is now known for his pallets of Makeup he formalises and does himself apparently got cancelled for past videos of him being racist to a passer-by and involved battery acid which is shocking as who would say such a thing. Throwing acid in someone’s face is something that has no words to describe as for saying that even for a joke and shouldn’t be entertained in the least not to mention using violent and aggressive language and bad body language is a no-no even if you were wasted and you couldn’t control yourself. Since then he has been cancelled many times for a set of reasons but still, manages to climb his way back to most of the viewer’s eyes. His bad bitch persona and his ever-growing apologies videos where he apologises for his actions says he’s been disgraceful and holds himself accountable but still makes the same mistakes he said sorry for and keeps it moving rubs a lot of people up the wrong way and his name leaves a bitter taste in some mouths judging by the venom of the tone of voice or what and how they said it. To sum up his success he is the YouTube makeup guru’s Michael Jackson and his makeup pallets sell very well selling out in most cases in the day and has also or used to have quite a following before all the incidents came to light and people saw a toxic side of him rather than what was fed to them a package good boy deal.  There’s nothing wrong with that though as we look for pure and real people we can relate to take Aaliyah the R’n’B singer who was out in the early 90s  up to her death in August 2001 where she died sadly in a plane crash which people are still speculating till this day but different topic. Aaliyah was pure not saying she had her moments and she was always angelic but she had a nice spirit and worked hard and was always appreciative and respectful which is why I can see why Beyonce is always mentioned in comparisons as if you are on about all those things mentioned and the fact they are good singers and dancers. But Aaliyah is highly regarded cos not only did she work hard and come up with that flavour she also knew what the streets would like and gave good performances, songs, albums, videos and interviews she was always highly respectful to her peers and fellow workmates IE the competition of the time like her well known rival Brandy which was nothing more than a kick up dust from the media to get people talking and to get more views and more money in the bank but I guess they were rivals but friendly ones as they both were competing for albums and singles sales and being both black female R’n’B singers who were in both cases had a successful single and album out everyone just couldn’t put down myself included. What I was trying to say before I got caught in the whirlwind is people myself included look for pure, outgoing, bubbly, talented well spoken in a articulate fashion kind of people who are worthy of our time and most importantly our money. They don’t have to be all those things or even one in Heinz sight but as long as they appreciate what we give them our time and money and support which can be consuming and of course what they have got as we ain’t got nothing so go and live the best life and stop complaining I’m really not trying to hear you are gutted cos you didn’t get that bag you saw at the mall come to find out the price of this bag and the wish of wanting to be rich but not famous which is something I always thought and worked on even though I make music and have three websites and is always typing or doing something on the internet but the fact is some of them are just ungrateful or overwhelmed with the price tag of fame and the second one is okay to be. 

Once again I have someone in mind so bringing the spotlight over to Doja Cat a successful and talented Pop, R’n’B and Hip Hop artists who is by the way also bi-racial and has had a few incidents including talking to known to Neo Nazis and letting them be opening racist even joining in one incident and being openly racist herself in her songs and on tweets and chats but that’s not what we are talking about and already covered racism in the last part but side note this is not acceptable and shouldn’t be allowed but she is young and dumb I wasn’t always this squeaky clean even though I was clean I too made inappropriate jokes about other races bar the accents I do and was only when I was around in my late twenty’s did I start to question my antics and was not what I actually believed in or understand and was more just for jokes even though some were offensive even to black people and my own kind so I do believe in being young and dumb but at the end of the day I didn’t want people to get the wrong impression of me or think I was part of the problem so I stopped and used other ways to get a laugh out of someone or even myself watching stuff on YouTube and silly memes and being silly. But Doja Cat openly mocked and laughed at her fans at the fact her album which is a Pop album and was something she didn’t admire was nothing more than a crash grab and was part of a scheme to hype up the new release she was making at the time which was a Hip Hop/Trap album and something she wanted to make. This caused her after the other reasons stated and more to be cancelled and seem ungrateful for all the hard work the fans and stans did for her which was spent on her and give time and support and people were left hurt some admitting to crying and what did she do mock them some more laughing at them and telling them emotion blackmail wasn’t cutting it and she wasn’t going to say she liked the album and repeated the cash grab gag.  Not to mention the comments people left on the internet before and after that incident saying how they were tired of the ungrateful selfish narcissistic celebrities and how they were looking for real grateful talent to spend time and money on which was always the theme growing up and before the internet but somehow most people find themselves where they left off at the hands of the evil apart from the most shocking crimes do people stop messing with some tuning in secret until it has all blown over and many being OTT and not caring what they did and still tune in like and comment their love for that person and then there are people like me who wait for a case in court and hear the verdict and go from there as I believe with accusations comes evidence and you should ask for more evidence before you make your final decision and say out that person or start to have a dislike for them or in most cases you start to feel a type of way for them which is usually a negative impact.

Some of the rumours were started by Tasha K a gossip and drama channel on YouTube and at its height had over a million subscribers and eventually got cancelled and sued by female rapper Cardi  B for spreading misinformation about her and her husband and rapper Off Set. But some of the lies she spread which huh is being echoed more times than your voice in a cave till this day and this was in the 2010s but the lies she spread about not just Cardi B and Offset but also Aaliyah was shocking and was damn right disrespectful especially saying Aaliyah died with an STD and she was always burning up from all the man she ran through it was something like that I was shouting for Aaliyah’s mum to sue her for deflation and assignation of character as she also accused Aaliyah’s mom of pimping her out to R Kelly and any passers-by in the music industry because her mom was on her knees IE struggling. But these were the things people should question and not feed into without evidence also serious allegations of sexual assault and being a predator but that should be taken more seriously but again should come with evidence like a legit person to back up your claims or serious legal action against that person or something recorded like a video or at worse a voice recording. 

P. Diddy formally known as Puff Daddy his other alias are Sean Combs and Puffy Sean Combs or Puffy exploded onto the scene in the early 90s when he started his record company Bad Boy Records and has had successful artists like Craig Mack, Faith Evans, Lil’ Kim, 112, Mase, The Loxs, Total and the Late Notorious B.I.G his most successful artists on the label and countless others. He started when he was an intern for record company Interscope and turned into a venture after being fired by Interscope but after finding lots of R’n’B acts for Interscope they were loyal and ditched their plans to sign to Bad Boy. He has then gone on to become one of the most successful record company owners and moguls branching out in fashion with his Sean Combs line and also alcohol with his drink Ciroc Vodka I don’t drink but that drink had me obsessing selling other alcoholic and none alcoholic beverages too with other ventures. One thing he was known for in the celebrity and eventually the world was his parties. His lavish parties which cost no less than a million and were extravagant brought in the in crowds of the celebrity world and went on for days even carrying the party on to a different location sometimes which meant flying to a different part of the world which was seen on one of his birthdays I think I don’t blame him good for him is what I say. His parties and other allegations have come to light about Diddy his other aaliis name like what happens at the parties since countless celebrities and non-celebrities have come out to say I went to a Puffy party and there were freak-offs. For those who don’t know what the expression freak offs is it is a term used when two males, females, other or different sexes do freakish things to each other to compete for money or affection from the power or breadwinner. Puff’s freak-offs are apparently forced and you are made to do it in the hope he would sign you or the fact he could ruin you as you now hold the secret of the powerful so-called straight man. 

The infamous Fabulous interview where Puff is sat down with several male Hip Hop artists including Fabulous and Puff is looking drunk and thirsty for a bit of hanky panky at times lusting for fabulous a rapper from the 2000s and tempting him to come to one of his parties by inviting him which Fabulous looked kind of nervous and responds no thanks I don’t party or something like that. At the time watching it as I also watched that interview when it was published it did make me wonder one why did fabulous looked so spooked and two what goes on in those parties. Other allegations which are more what I now call foundation is sex trafficking, drugging and use of drugs, rape, mental and physical abuse, exploitation, and unfair deals but he later gave back the publishing rights back to some of the owners of the songs and the ones who wrote and performed them. 

Also, Cassie the R’n’B singer from the 2000s who was also signed to Bad Boy filed a civil case and later settled for $30 million out of court after she came out with claims of rape, mental and physical abuse by Puff and also being trafficked and sleeping with male prostitutes against her will and those sexy times being filmed and sent to people in Hollywood and the music industry. Those allegations were sort of backed up by some but for me for being an abusive person when that now infamous recording of what it appears to be Cassie escaping Puff and Puff running down the corridor after Cassie and kicking her ordering her to get back into the room. Puff was taking a shower at the time so he was dressed in only a towel and his flip flops and Cassie looked scared and was on the floor and visibly shaken like the audience after watching it and could be quite triggering for those who have been in a one-sided abusive relationship. Puff quickly messaged the world and later did an apology video saying how disgusted he was and how he was working on his demons and also how he hated himself watching back the video of the Cassie elevator incident. But this wasn’t enough for most and they called for Puff to be arrested like a normal person would and to push back on male-to-female violence and he was also cancelled for good with people saying this was the end of Puff and pointing fingers at people like Beyonce and Jay Z taunting them by saying you are next which later got captured by the same title and calling Beyonce and Jay Z demonic and predators and Opera Winfrey too. Since the Michael Jackson court case and the Me Too movement the movement that happened in the 2010s and was about sharing stories of being raped and fighting your aggressor and your own demons since the event. There have been a lot of people who I believe were brought down due to the knock from the knock-on effect of the Me Too movement such as

Jeffrey Epstein a wealthy billionaire who hanged himself in Prison and while waiting for the court case and his girlfriend and sex offender assistant Ghislaine Maxwell, 

Bill Cosby the actor and comedian,

 R Kelly the R’n’B singer of the 90s, 

 

Harvey Weinstein the film director 

Dahvie Vanity with his band Blood On The Dancefloor which is the same title’s of Michael Jacksons later album may I add. This is the debate Jeffery Star who is also tied to Dahvie as they were both from the My Space era and they both toured together whilst the allegations were being made but Jeffery swears he’s never seen anything and flip-flopped on the whole thing in one instance saying how nasty he was and a month or two later or somewhere down the line after calling him a brother and how lovely he was also later going back on tour with after calling him nasty and a sexual predator and even worse a child sex offender but he’s done that more than once but more on that in a bit. And now we have Puff to add to that list as he is currently in jail awaiting trial for sex trafficking but all the other stuff I mentioned too. With the fast pace of the internet and the now desire to speak your mind about issues, you have about yourself or with other people such as being raped or being fairly mistreated and be heard by people not just some crazy talk you had on a chat room back in the day where you accidentally spill tea and go even more crazier by not stopping and confessing even more tea but no one takes you that serious. Also, the a demand for truth seekers who are kind are expected to give their view on pressing issues nowadays or they will be known as complacent one and part of the problem also people not using their platforms to do so like talk about things like racism and unfair treatment and also people just want to know your opinion and points of view are you righty are you a lefty are you bias or non-bias so many questions, not enough time. It goes back to the Aaliyah and Beyonce thing but so many others too it’s all about relatability as you flock with those who think like you and are relatable and like some shun the ones who don’t or at least pay them no mind. I wouldn’t call Puff relatable as he was flashy all about the sex thirst and being rich and successful flaunting wealth and promoting prettiness all the things I hate but he had likeability which is another factor you have to have if ever became famous. This is the exception of his reality TV show I Want To Work For Diddy a reality show in the 2000s where contestants could win an intern deal with Diddy and work for him. That really put me off him and showed his egoistic and exploitation side and was not something I never bought into when I signed up and the thing I have an issue with and is being brought up is the unfair use of wealth and mostly power. If true it seems Puff gets a kick out of making people powerless and dangles his wealth and power over innocent straight males and females to get some sort of gratification from it and is his cocaine which funny enough reminds me of some of the coke heads and I’m not suggesting he’s a coke head but is the same power struggle and kick they get from making someone weak and holding power over them. I’m not mad at Puff I’m disappointed ha the good old I’m not mad I’m disappointed a bit motherly but okay. I think he needs help for his sex addiction and being controlling and holding power over people other than being held accountable in the courtroom as everyone should have their time in court if strong allegations are made and you are arrested and taken to court I’m always listening to the max in that way but I do listen to all the stories even though it’s hard to figure out the truth seekers from the clout chasers and the ones with good intent like lying to get other people the real truth seekers to speak out and end this whole gossip mill. Also so people get heard as their friends who like the others sit in silence because they would get shouted down, laughed and mocked or no one will believe them saying nasty things like you probably gave the wrong signals or they enjoyed it and they were only looking for a quick pay cheque or how lucky they were and they wished it was them. Also, some people feel some type of way about you when you have been raped judging by some people I met in my personal life and what they say and this sadly includes friends and family too. So holding people accountable and like Puff and the others I mentioned that are now convicted sex offenders and predators but not for Puff’s case not for now as he hasn’t had his court case but for the others, it was a good thing and they deserved what was being served to them as at the end of the day rape and misuse of power but especially rape and sexual misconduct ruins lives. The predator can always live another day with no worry of being called out or any worries whilst the one who went through it has to live day by day with suicidal thoughts and doing things like attempting suicide, self-harming, irrational behaviour, mistrust and alcohol and substance abuse in a mechanism of copying and going through the pain. Waking up each day and going through the ordeal and feeling dirty used and disposable and betrayed as this is the person you trusted and looked up to and they slip you the wrong drink and your ashes on the floor or so you feel like. Some of them get a kick from this and is their downfall in the same breathe as somewhere down the line you will get angry by realizing that person was holding the rape over your head and the feeling of not being alone even if some of them swear but more hope they were the only one but something tells them they ain’t alone and they must speak the truth even though that means fighting alone and even though you will eventually meet your crowd of people you hoped didn’t exist IE other victims who had the same fate by that person and like them. I think it should also be done as it stops people from running into the traps and keeps the public informed of stuff happening our eyes will never see to make better decisions of who we accept and don’t accept and who we spend money and time on. So cancel culture as controversial thing as it is and where we all now can cancel someone’s work and is something that is necessary at times to stop the bad that happens or at least slow it down to minimal speed making it harder to repeat history and to make environments including our own more cleaner and transparent so the next person doesn’t have to deal with the downfalls and the hardships you would face when dealing with Hollywood, the music industry and of course mainstream media. Not to mention it’s a good thing as the money I spent could be going to or you are supporting the lifestyle of a sex offender and someone who doesn’t care for the lives of others which is basically your own co-sign with the devil. 

I will use the chocolate brand Cadburys to explain further. Before their clean up and that includes other well-known brands like Nescafe, Primark and the meat industry with how meat is reared in poor conditions and without any medical treatment and other issues like boxed calves, imprisoned sows and mistreatment of animals by fast food companies like KFC but so many other companies from all the range with different or the same issues all to widen their margins and compete with other companies who do or is similar to them. But before the media clean up and their efforts to become more informed and better companies and brands and before and during the rise of the internet it was sometimes made known by mostly insightful undercover documentaries which was an undercover agent reporter who would get a job at a bad company or brand and film evidence to show the general public of all the at times horrific things they were doing leaving it up to us to decide what action was to be taken as it wasn’t just made to say look at this ain’t it terrible at a guess and was something you take some sort of action against like what they were asking for demanding change, doing better and keeping us all informed instead of hiding it and it becoming the dirty secret that could ruin your brand or company when it came out. By accepting the problems from these greedy companies and other fields and behaviour spectrums you are being part of the problem and throwing your money at the devil or as I said doing a co-signing or a contract with the devil and you are throwing your soul away if you do so in my opinion. Again being informed about unethical practices and misuse of power from well-known brands and companies and the fact they can be cancelled and boycotted cos boycotting comes with the cancellation if you want to get your toes fully wet. But the fact they can be cancelled and boycotted is power to the people and is something that is very important in the climate of today. People don’t want to eat, wear or buy into something that was made from mistreatment humans and animals respectable though animals get the worse wrap out of the two, and also it must be cleanly made not something that was made and polluting the earth which is something companies are only starting to acknowledge and work on which does get a shout if they are doing all the good things they say they do say on the label print of your favourite brand or company. The other thing people expect when buying into a company or brand is and is nothing new but we expect quality and good for your money. Okay with the prices of high-end products, it’s not always easy to give the customer value so maybe not the second thing is quantity as my friend would say it’s quality over quantity and with these high-end brands it is just that. But charging ridiculous prices for stuff you could get up to 60% sometimes 90% cheaper that works and is more affordable come to find out what you paid for was a dud and you are not happy with the product no matter how much you pretend and justify it by saying things like maybe it’s just this one or maybe I got it wrong with getting it to work properly you still ain’t happy and felt let down and once again betrayed or at best confused as that’s not what was sold to me or I was told or even read about as some people pay other people to post fake reviews or positive posts around the social media and \the internet which is why I always use Trust Pilot for legit reviews on products I’m buying to make sure I know what I’m buying into and this wasn’t always how I was but I learned from my mistakes. 

Mr Beast is the most successful YouTuber to date and specializes in fast-paced quote unquote action-packed short videos where you would have several people who would compete for a life-changing amount of money or in some videos give away money and luxury items to random strangers in all cases people who were poor and couldn’t afford or wished they had that type of money. The most shocking videos were the Making 100 Blind People See For The First Time video and his follow-up video Making 100 Deaf People Hear For The First Time which I thought seeing on my timeline was just outrageous. Okay, it was good that someone was paying for their surgery and they get to hear or see for the first time or in years and decades and was something they always dreamt of but could never afford it. It’s the god-like persona and throwing water in the other people’s faces who never got the chance to win that raffle to get their eyes or ears worked over. Also, the expression coined by a disabled person it was something like disability porn which means media using disabled people as props to make the non-disability people feel better about themselves and think I’m not that bad it could be worse quote unquote and in most cases those people are used and slowly or rapidly flushed out the conversation when they are done using that person or people. Do I think Mr Beast cares and was using disabled people as disability porn no I don’t but I know he cares about ratings and is smart when it comes to trends on YouTube and what makes a great video, thumbnail and gaining a worldwide audience it’s transactionally without a doubt but I do believe he does it with good intent and is generally a nice person and nothing yet has alerted me about him like toxic behaviour apart from the office banter and that can always get offensive so mwah. He was recently put under the microscope and was cancelled losing views and probably money due to the two things I will briefly explain. As I said his videos are fast-paced and have a big budget and kind of populated the market on YouTube for high-end good high-quality videos and it is noted the style he was doing and created was recreated by some after seeing the amount of views he had and just for reference his best videos is Squid Game In Real Life with a whopping 541 million views earning. $456,000 in revenue off YouTube making him one of the most successful YouTubers and one of the most watched YouTubers of the time. But with all those views and money came the scrutiny like where was this money coming from like $500.000, the money for the Ferrari car classic red style that you might have seen one in real life or at the best and you were born before the the late 90s seen on Gran Turismo game on PlayStation one or two I can’t remember now not important though. Well apparently the money wasn’t just coming from the revenues of videos or even his failed ventures but more on that in a minute. The money was also coming from illegal gambling and his shady business practises where he would invest in a company early on and sell dreams to passers-by with money and are looking to invest, he would promise things like high returns IE a nice sum of money at the end of it if you invest x amount for x amount of years. Only to do dirty and an expression used in business I’ve heard before they would pull the rug meaning cash in their investments without sharing any profits or money made and leave the other investors in limbo and with no money or returns as promised to keep every last penny or dollar the other investors invested in and they know what they are doing and do it with ease and from the jump saying things like you’re going be rich and a toast to the winner or something like that. It’s basically a pyramid scheme where the rich gets richer whilst the unknown and the poorest or less wealthy and powerful get duped and ripped off but at the time of the so-called deal are made to feel they are losing out if they don’t act now, sound familiar to you. As for the illegal gambling there is one video where he is on an illegal website and in the reflection of the big panel windows and the big monitor they had the logo of the illegal gambling site and was heavily visible and he is seen leaning over in this Yatzies style fashion if that makes sense like he was rolling dice or something. Now I don’t know my Adam from my Eve when it comes to illegal gambling sites or recognizing logos so if that was a gambling website logo is not even questionable to be honest as I believe it was why wouldn’t it be and like they lie about something that is easy to verify. Do I think he is involved in illegal gambling and pyramids schemes well there is no saying and at this point can’t be proved by me so I won’t say and that’s not to disclaim others or back him up as I will say due to the cost of his videos him and his team makes it wouldn’t surprise me and by the way he claims all the money made goes back into his YouTube videos and helps pay for all the things people were speculating on like where was all this money was coming from and how he managed to make so much money in so little time if that was true and he was self-funding these videos and done it without things like sponsorship and revenue from YouTube. The other factor that was talked about and is the other reason why he has fallen out of popularity was his choices in business practices though he fired back at the ones who manage his business by suing them and claiming it had nothing to do with him or the brands he made. His first venture was his burgers which you couldn’t nip down to the local to get that burger you’ve been craving you had to order it and get it from a kitchen that made them as basically there wasn’t any restaurant either not even one like you would see at your favourite and non-favourite fast food chains. But never the fewer burger fans and fans rushed to their phones and ordered a burger with the curiosity of what it was going to taste like and due to the fact things like heavy logo images placed in his videos and the promotion it got in those videos where in one video Mr Beasts states you haven’t tasted a burger till you tasted the Mr Beast burger basically hyping it up and once again selling people lies and getting other people well known YouTubers and Z list celebrities who probably took the Mr Beast challenge and earnt themselves some side money and gave good feedback by saying things like best burger with some making over the top delicious sounds like they were over enjoying it or they were starved for days by Mr Beast and that was the first meal they had since they last ate that was sarcasm or was it? Judging by the reviews people were given after tasting the Mr Beast burger it left them underwhelmed and surprise, surprise disappointed. People were quick to buy the burger and record themselves on video unboxing and eating it giving first impressions and taste and quality-like reviews. People called out the quality of the burgers stating it wasn’t even real patty a substitute for real meat or real beef and is still an acceptable form of meat for most cooks and chefs. They also said how it wasn’t even seasoned and in my opinion and judging by my own eyes it looked like a no-frills burger you would find in the more cheaper shops where it is well known you might not be buying say real meat or 100% meat and is mixed with pork and in some cases horse or some sort of alternative mixed mixture and could have parts of nasty bits in you just wouldn’t eat if there were separate or known which it used to be unknown but again with the rise of the internet it has become more transparent and food chains get called out and boycotted when found out and they get a bad reputation and that is bad in a business stance just to point out the obvious. After the burger venture, he later went on to have two other failed businesses his what we would call here in the UK the Dairylea Lunchers and his toys venture. The Dairylea knockoff which was actually set up to be another company’s rival who had the same kind of foods inside and must be overseas snacks as I have never heard of the rival company. The snacks were once again pumped up and made to be the next best thing by making stats compassions from nutrition value to source of meat and its value to the taste test and even as far as saying it’s more healthier than the rival brand and once again getting well known YouTubers to taste the product and give feedback other than joining in with the debrand of the other brand like saying how much better and healthier their product was. People took issue with this as his audience is young and impressionable and would buy into most things as that’s their favourite says the YouTuber in this case he’s trustworthy and in fact getting a young person to determine a trustworthy person from a non-trustworthy person most would find it hard and is the only experience that stops the young and older people from making the same mistakes but happens all in your younger days of life for most. Mr Beast’s toy collection is the classic example of selling and targeting younger audience who are impressionable and still lacking knowledge of how the earth is ran which in a nut shell after your wallet and commitment to brands and companies and getting them rich while we just float along which isn’t the case for all brands, companies and even media but everything or most things is like a strip club no money no lap dance or pole action which I do believe in paying for some services since they shouldn’t have the brunt of paying out for people’s needs and pleasures not if they are paying for them but there are a lot of free and open source software that is similar but most of them you don’t the premier options but apart from that they are great open source software which means it’s free and free to anyone who with like most of the software is using it for non commercial use Gimp the alternative to Photoshop is a free open source software that comes to mind and is something I personally use for all my virtually art and other things like making games and making cover art for my music if I’m not just whacking a title and my artist name over the photo I found online, and use it quite frequently. 

The other person who was heavily discussed and got cancelled and the last person on the list before I wrap it up is James Charles. For those who don’t know who he is, he’s another successful makeup guru on YouTube but not as successful as his rival Jeffery Star but never the less he too had a following and sold out makeup pallets and like most of his other rivals blasted on your computer monitors in the late 2010s and came after Jeffery Star with his makeup brand and and the Jeffery Cosmetics branch. He was and continues to fall into hot water after a video was made about him accusing James of inappropriate texts to underage straight boys and a waiter made another video where he claims James badgered him into getting off with him and potentially sleeping with him even though he stated he was underage and not comfortable with the idea and felt pressured into doing something so he made out with James. This was sort of backed up by a resurfaced YouTube video where he openly admits to liking underaged boys and then his own words stated how he likes straight men he could basically turn out and he seemed turned on and sexually aggressive of the fact he could do this watching the video and is another too much power for those little hands scenario and another classic example of abuse of power. He did make that one apology video like all the others before getting taken down in the hope it would all blow over and be forgotten about but there are always people who don’t forgive or forget and look for copies of the video to repost or they are doing it for views and likes but is a necessary thing I think on the internet as nothing should be just deleted or hide evidence or in this case hiding the lie of the apology. Holding yourself accountable means admitting you have a problem and taking a sort of call to action which means seeking some sort of help for the vice that holds you so well not making a quick and easy apology where you address the issues shift blame or even apologise for your actions like Jeffery Star James Charles only to do it again it’s like they don’t care and think they are untouchable and also unstoppable when that is not the case and is something that is being asked by many YouTube outlets and people when will they just fly away or actually be cancelled but for good and question the remaining fans and customers on what their values actually are from what I gather. The other factor for the downfall and cancellation of James Charles was the whole Sugar Bear Gate which is what I called it and for those who don’t know what that was or how it happened, I briefly explain. James Charles started the drama when he posted a swipe-up ad which is meant to be an engaging way for buyers to interact with the post and discover new and exciting products that were or are being launched. He promoted the Sugar Bear Hair brand line at the music festival popular to influencers called Coachchella a festival held in the desert and going by what was said about the events it attracts influencers and celebrities but mostly influencers and is filled with people taking meaningless photos and videos on their phones around gorgeous settings and backdrops rather than enjoying the music or scene and maybe I don’t know dance. And not just cos you are going get a good photo or segment for a later-on video you put together to show off your experience and is also noted is where the influencer’s brand owners go to and where you may be sponsored if you have been called and at worse get merch which consists of high-end fashion brands, makeup, accessories and other expensive gifts which you pay for at more affordable prices even though sometimes or all the time is always expensive price tags but you are getting a discount and don’t pay retail prices from fashion huts as it’s been explained to me by YouTube videos. Now if you are not in the loop and you may be thinking what does promoting a swipe-up ad about a product called Sugar Bear be so dramatic it’s a product for your hair.

You see there is another well-known YouTube beauty guru. Like the other makeup gurus, a professional makeup artist called Tati Westbrook who had her own line of beauty, hair and skin lines which she was launching called Halo Beauty and was in direct competition with James Charles’s line Sugar Bear Hair. According to Tati herself she felt hurt and betrayed by James for swiping her IE being all friendly and doing countless videos together where he calls her mum and how she taught him the game of the makeup industry allowing him to launch his own products only for James to steal the competition and cut Tati short in financial and also in her own personally life and way. Tati claims she reached out to James but got a cold and stiff reply after a while of waiting and wanted to brush it off as some sort of silly mistake but the messages she got back from Charles only backed up her thoughts. This caused Tati to lash out and make the infamous Bye Sister video as something to explain quickly James calls his fans sisters and in the Bye Sister video Tati explicitly calls out James for the sugar bear incident, explains the backdrop of the matter and her own side of the story whilst dragging other famous TikTok and YouTubers in the conversation and explicitly made strong allegations that James was a sexual predator, preyed on what appears to be underaged vulnerable young men and boys and several other things like being a bad friend and not being a real sister to being narcissistic and toxic and also she heard him speak badly about yet another YouTube beauty guru and makeup artists

Jaqueline Hill when she was nothing but nice him and aided him to his once success at the time. It became an ever-growing back-and-forth tale tell well she said I looked fat in pink, well he said I hated the colour green kind of thing. This is by the way I think is the reason why James got cancelled and the people who came forward with their own allegations against Charles backed up what Tati was saying in the Bye Sister video she recorded and put out on her YouTube channel. Que Jeffery Star again as he after watching the Bye Sister video he had a lot to say about the situation siding with Tati and calling out James and saying nasty and sly comments about him adding more fuel to the fire. Like true YouTube fashion they all later go on to deny they said all those allegations they said about each other and they all admitted of having flaws in their relationship but was something they would like just to move on from as one said it the other joined the skipping and repeated what the original person said which does make sense but what about the victims they won’t go away as easy and people would want to forever know what really happened and if it was all true. It’s also noted that after things died down and people were left to speculate people and began to push blame and speculate on Jeffery Star’s involvement of the Bye Sister video Tati made and then and afterwards since he was dominating the world with his pallets like the Jeffery Star and Shane Dawson Conspiracy Pallet and another sale out cosmetics and both were competitors of Jeffery so it makes sense that he would knock them out the park so he could be at the full front of the cosmetic world of YouTube especially, but also the whole wide world getting him more shop stores and revenue and stopping both James and Tati from getting at his market as that’s a daunting and worrying factor that could happen and as we saw in Sugar Bear gate it has happened as like any chain or most business it’s a cut throat industry and only the most cut throat will go home with that bag IE money but that’s not always the case. I used James Charles, Tati Brooks, Jeffery Star and Sugar Bear Gate as examples as I think it’s classic examples of if true and in James Charles’s case misuse of power and wealth, in Tati’s case the misuse of her platform and utilizing people with ammunition in order to fire at James without evidence or presenting evidence and did it out of spite and angrier or though I do see where she is coming from and was sort of or shadier coming from James’s part I personally would rather of done a collab and split the profits myself. And finally If true Jeffery is guilty of adding fuel to the fire and masterminding a plot to bring down his rival brands and using the innocent like Tati to fight the battle and crush the grape so to speak by spreading misinformation to the YouTube outlets and letting them report on the misinformation Jeffery pays for them to spread and talk about it which in most cases the real hidden issue is unknown to them and they think they are running with real tea IE gossip or information they believe in and are against and they know needs to be talked about so basically most are duped into feeding into the narrative presented until they start to investigate and come to find out it was all lies and they were used or stories don’t just match up and the consistency of the topic shows heavy cracks on the surface.

 

MY FINAL THOUGHTS

First of all, if you made it all the way to the end congratulations and thanks so much for reading this now extensive coverage of just some of the pressing issues being discussed and have been discussed on YouTube especially but is over all the social media platforms as a whole. I really didn’t plan on making it this long and had a lot of explaining to do for those who don’t tune into the gossip and celebrity news channels and for those who are not on YouTube and frequent users to know who those people are or you might just have a different feed than most users of the social media platform. I must admit I didn’t have a clue who Jeffery Star was or at least I rediscovered him after clicking on one of his Makeup tutorial videos on YouTube which was in my feed after being intrigued did I got inundated with his content and the infamous videos I discussed like the Bye Sister video and also coverage from YouTube gossip and drama channels started to flood my feed around the same time I first clicked on one of his videos. I don’t even like makeup but I must admit I was drawn by the personality and all the makeup scandalous that followed and was publicly made by those outlets. I’m not saying we are all perfect and I’m not even saying I’m perfect or e should have perfect pitch all the time but making people accountable for their actions they don’t make amends to or even acknowledge the problem or problems is something I think should be held accountable for no matter who you are and despite the controversial rise of the downfall and the ever-growing list of cancelled people we must all do our bit but keep in my mind this is a great responsibility and is something that shouldn’t be done as I said before and a few times in this post be done willy nilly and with no actual good enough reasons or most important evidence and we should make decisions after hearing other sides of the story, other people’s testaments and hard evidence but saying all that keep an open view of the situations and take people seriously if they do come forward with strong allegations about that person by not  making excuses for them and hold them accountable for all the crimes they committed no matter how much you like and respect or admire that person. It’s easy to shut your eyes and count to ten and the problem vanishes in mid-air and by not shutting your eyes and counting to ten you are helping the world and at times vulnerable people or people who are stuck in bad situations and it becomes harder than ever to put up with such things like being a sexual predator, being toxic and even just bad people in generally and we must push back from all of this as it’s making the world more stupid, carefree, soulless and more narcissistic with bad behaviour being reward whilst good behaviour is being shunned and ridiculed as everyone loves a real bad bitch or boy even though that’s not part of the keeping it real package some people may think it is. Also being just like them doesn’t mean you are exempt from reprisal or that you are safe and those same people don’t show you or talk about the demons they have and most importantly struggle with and when some of them do it is glorified and all about selling that image of being that bitch or boy in most cases which is not having a mental illness is about but that’s one instance. Cancel culture as I said before but to put it more bluntly and to wrap up this blog post is the key to unlocking the sanctuary for both us and other people who are like and not like us and I think is the key we are looking for to push back on on people who abuse power, unacceptably toxic or other things. When used right it can bring people justice and hope for a better day and future and ends their pain and misery or at least stop the pain from rising to the top as they have been heard and people responded which should make them a bit more happy as people are fighting your corner and most importantly believe you even though you thought or were told that no one would and you were alone which can’t be a good feeling. Those who lie and do it for clout something I never covered in this post but is another problem when facing being on the internet but they should be sued like Tasha K and held accountable by the public and come down more heavily on them instead of allowing people to make up lies that pull on your heartstrings and feed into the more vulnerable side you have which is thirsty for insightful information and backstage passes of the behind the scenes to get a glimpse of what really goes on in Hollywood, the music industry and social media outlets like YouTube where everything is fabricated and concealed to hide things and to stop you from finding out the truth and further down the line to prevent you from stop spending money on the person, company or brand.  so it’s all bout the money surprise surprise. Before I go I would like to thank YouTube channels Spill Sesh, LovelyT,  The Empressive Channel, Tee Noir, Tea Spill and Cruel World Happy Mind for their insightful videos and for bringing troubling issues to my attention minus all the makeup scandalous but was still insightful and enjoyable to watch. I did this mostly all from the memory of what I have watched in the past and without those videos I watched I wouldn’t be able to make this blog post or even question my own alliance with black people and black culture or my own alliance with the ones I hold dear AKA the celebrity or in more my case rappers, singers and musicians of the music industry from the older to the newer generations. All the channels mentioned get a thumbs up as they are none biased channels and are points of view they didn’t shy away from which is always nice to hear someone was covering things others were too scared to do even though they are later copied by a copy cat for views and to emulate their success but once again thank you and well done for being that Louis Lane beeatch lol.

Vocalizer [FREE DOWNLOAD]

November 23, 2024

VOCALIZER VST PLUGIN [FREE DOWNLOAD]

 I’m back with another free VST plugin for Windows and Mac and this one is a Vocoder of 93 Vocoder sounds. I used Arturia’s Vocoder which I went through them and chose the best ones and I also recorded some phrases and words which were random but there is a special section for the space theme which I got the phrases online and made up as I go along. It’s not just me on the mic my friend and I wrote down some words and phrases and recorded them on my phone as I record all my stuff on my phone using a free app that does the job then I used the Vocoder to make the sounds and Romplur to put it altogether. If you have the Arturia Collection and you have the Vocoder you can actually add your own samples over the presets to come up with different sounds and there was quite a lot to choose from so I was in heaven whilst making the sounds.  I made the GUI using Gimp a free open-source software which I use quite a lot and I don’t go a day without using the software and seem to get some good results out of it with the right faffing about. The plugin covers the genres Jungle/Drum and Bass, House, Electronic and Synthwave those are the genres I made the demos with but you are free to try other genres or overlay them with your own vocals it’s all up to you. Each Vocoder sound is labelled and ready to use in your DAW and I’ve tested the Windows version but I haven’t got a Mac so I’m not sure if it will work for Mac but you can always download it and give it a go. 

DEMO VIDEO

DEMO AUDIO

FREE VST DOWNLOAD

[Download not found]
[Download not found]

Yamaha Keys [FREE DOWNLOAD]

October 7, 2024

YAMAHA KEYS VST PLUGIN [FREE DOWNLOAD]

I made another VST plugin this one is the Yamaha PSS F30 portable keyboard that I recorded the sounds and made my own sounds with mostly using filters  but I kept the original bank in there too. The VST comes with different knobs to twist including reverb, delay, chrous, phasrer and many more knobs ready to be molded into something new including LFO depth and rate. I got the sounds from a old hardware keyboard I bought years ago and I thought it would be a good thing to convert into a VST. I made the GUI as always using GIMP and online photos and I used Rompuler to put it together which is a non coding plugin aid used to make the VST plugin. As always I enjoyed putting it together and I like making the sounds which there are under forty sounds with no bass as the keyboard didn’t have any basses on so I left it with what you get on the keyboard. If I found anymore keyboards I might do another one so please subscribe to my mailing list to stay up to date with all my downloads including samples, sample packs and VSTs plugins.

DEMO VIDEO

DEMO AUDIO

FREE VST DOWNLOAD

[Download not found]
[Download not found]

Beyonce Act II Country Music And The Hypocrisy Of Black Music Standards

March 30, 2024

INTRO

If you are not aware of it Beyonce has new album out a country album to follow along Renaissance her club and Afro Beats infused album that ran along side her tour also called Renaissance. Wow she’s doing good a successful tour and album with this one following on Act II a Country album which as I will explain is going to break barriers and change the hypocrisy of what people would call black music or associate with black music. I’m actually listening to the album right now for the first time so I will give my review of the album at the end it has 24 tracks on so it’s quite a long one but some of them are short songs. So far the first track is very Shania Twain and the second track is very traditional reminds me a 60s songs I’ve heard it before by a different artist. I must admit I love the fact she’s done it in different act something I would like to do say three different genres but call them chapters or something but linked somehow altogether. Now I think about it the horse on the first album goes well with this album Act II which has a very patriotic western theme  and also has a horse on the album cover. I think it was in all a clever thing to do and makes music interesting again and also dare I say inspiring yeah inspiring. The internet was buzzing with this album with various of funny memes and statements all for the album and some said they put down the Renaissance album and play the crap out of her new album which came out last night 12.00 AM 29/03/2024,  whilst some asked for Act III to come out so they can rotate all three albums. Hang on don’t be a bitch come take it to the floor now HEY lol! I’m on Texas Hold Em I like this one reminiscent of country the melody is catchy. So far I’m getting country music from throughout the decades this one Bodyguard very flowers in her hair style it feels 90s or something you would hear at a festival or light gig it’s very radio friendly too, so far no skips.  Well I was expecting Dolly Parton to be on the album but not as a intro lol that hozzy what a skank we would say. Now I would like to watch Dolly and Beyonce on stage singing Jolene that’s the next track after the Dolly intro. Oh I love it the bleedy sheets on dirty floor or whatever she said very country and upbeat for the next track Daughter, I really like the lyrics for this one called Daughter and the melody. Oooh no sause for Spaghetti the next track a bit of Hip Hop, oh okay like the other album a change up to country music near the end keep it country lol, still no skips Alligator just finished. Well I just finished listening to the album and yeah no skips and a good country album with one or two southern Hip Hop I’m guessing. But I enjoyed the album something I would actually play again if I was in the mood. Will she get her Grammy for this or are they going to say there wasn’t enough traditional pieces in we were find out but check it out if you haven’t already it’s worth a play I would say and not something I would usually go for.  

THE ORIGINS OF COUNTRY MUSIC

The Banjo a well known southern instrument was in fact a instrument made from Western Africans who crossed the Transatlantic in the slave trade and the instrument was made out of gourds, called the Akonting. For Four hundred years the enslaved made their own music including hymns, spirituals, and field song, all with roots in African music. It is said that playing the Banjo in the 1840s was exclusively a Black instrument and was unheard of for a white person to play the banjo. The instrument has had a controversial rise to music fame as in the  In the 1850s, minstrel shows became grossly popular and depicted enslaved Africans as slow, lazy and as cannibals, also it was depicted with Banjos which in affect popularised the Banjo within the white communities inventing the genre Hillbilly music around in the 1920s. Hillbilly music later changed to Country music, first artist drew inspiration from from slave spirituals, field songs, hymns, and the blues, which itself has black origins. Despite America in the 1920s and 1930s being  segregated Hillbilly and black artists would collaborate on songs which became popular and nearly 50 black artists would appear on successful songs with white artists because the music was seen as a black genre but changed hands with white people back and fourth. It was in fact after World War I after 1918 when Hillbilly music got changed to Country music after a big push from the record companies who wanted to start selling Country music but couldn’t due to the race of those artists. The black artists who were signed to a record company in the 1920s was underpaid and didn’t get any recognition. There music was sold on to white artists who were the stand ins and made Country music a white genre with the help of the record companies whose audience favoured middle white America looking people. DeFord Bailey was the one of the first Black musicians to gain recognition and was the first to play the Grand Ole Opry—a big deal for country musicians. His harmonica playing style greatly influenced the country musicians that followed him. Succeeding Bailey was  Charley Pride. As mentioned before, Pride was the first black artist to be inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame and is often referred to as “country music’s first Black superstar.” He served as an inspiration for countless Black musicians. In their tow, Ray Charles was responsible for blending country with R&B and pop music in a way that would forever change the genre. His music also helped fuel the civil rights movement. Bailey, Pride, and Charles are three of the most recognizable Black names in country music, but there are many lesser known names that have also been critical in forming the genre. Gus Cannon was a Black musician who helped popularize jug bands (a precursor to country) in the 1920s and ended up teaching Johnny Cash, a world renowned white country singer. In addition, the guitar fingerpicking style that is largely used in country music today was developed by Black guitarist Leslie Riddle. Still to this day black artists still struggle to get the recognition and acknowledgement they deserve for their work in 2019 rapper Lil Nas’s Rap and Country song Old Town Road was removed from the Country Billboards Charts when Rolling Stone told Billboard, “it does not embrace enough elements of today’s country music to chart in its current version. Also some Country fans accused Lil Nas of cultural appropriation for wearing a cowboy hat but you can’t even wear a pouch without being called Skippy the wannabe kangaroo in my opinion. Beyonce also got in some heat when she released, “Daddy’s Lessons,” in 2016, she faced heavy backlash from the industry despite the fact that the hit single includes all the elements of traditional country music. Even when Beyonce performed “Daddy’s Lessons” at the 2016 Country Music Awards with The Chicks, country fans were enraged and some heckled her one woman said “get that black bitch off the stage.” She additionally submitted the record for a Grammy but was denied. Linda Martell was the first black woman to break into the Country industry and gain success with her 1970s album Colour Me Country it’s hard for black woman to break into the industry and even though there has been a rise in black female country singers in more recent years they are still faced with the same issues.

THE REVOLUATION OF BLACK COUNTRY MUSIC

I really do think it’s revelational as music should be as not only is she opening doors for other Country black artists but she is also reclaiming the lost history and the origins of Country music. There’s a stigma of what people expect of you being black or biracial which is all the urban genres like Hip Hop and Trap here in the UK UK Garage and UK Funky and House which I do actually make but I also like my synthesizers. I’m obsessed with them actually so I make Vapourwave, a bit of Progressive Rock, Synthwave and general synthy vibes which some people would class as white genres but I always said it doesn’t have a colour, I think no genre is White, Black, Asian or other apart from the tribal and traditional stuff from around the world. The boundaries of what people find is black or white is a recurring thing that happens and something I face a little bit in my own life and I think Beyonce’s album Act II is going to break boundaries and the hypocrisy between the races whilst defining the genre in the new form which incorporates other genres such as Hip Hop and other urban genres if it is acknowledge that is. As I said before it would open doors for other black artists who may of come before her and been doing this despite all the backlash and hate that they might get due to it being a white dominated genre. It’s kind of shallow to think that a person doesn’t like anything but Hip Hop and urban genres that’s like saying all Mexican’s drink Tequila and especially when they have strong roots in the genre and was pushed out due to race or race and or being a black woman. I think there is some sort of hypocrisy of what the races identify as being white or black and that is heavily linked in music and the fact the white race are being pushed more then the black race which makes it seem like the white race invented all these genres when really it was passionate black musicians that paved the way for the genre to grow into a mainstream staple diet. There is no denying that things such as colourism and sex has major parts in making it in the music industry and I’m guessing they start where they finish the big wigs I mean who push for what they call desirable and fashion too. Black people are undermined and underpaid and arts are quickly taken away from them and used, as in a video I watched on YouTube as toys just something to play around with and to suit the mainstream audience they are trying to extract money from. I’m sorry to say but most even all of the old white but black singing artists are replacements for the undesirable or what they call undesirable which is black, big nose, big ears and non straight hair again also a thing in fashion and Hollywood. And as we know the south of America and America as a whole can be pretty racists and some do not welcome African and West Indies American descendants into their life or anyone who is not white American. I saw this one example on Facebook this girl took a black boy or young man to the Prom and the mother was f’ing and blinding saying she’s cutting her allowance and even her life insurance she really stomped on her. I was like dang she really doesn’t like black people and she’s going to need that in case she got shot that’s a joke but I think that is the nasty way society is xenophobic and scared of the unknown so they cast it out. I feel there needs to be a lot done when it comes to changing the perception of what music is and the roots of each genre not to mock anyone who came before and paved the way. There is still like ugh you like rock you’re white or any other white based genre. Only once have I experienced slight undertones of racism it was on Tumblr when I used to make a lot of Progressive Rock tracks or call them that even some of them weren’t but anyway he wrote “sorry you ain’t got the long silky hair” and other comments that I thankfully forgot. He was referencing that most of the Progressive Rock bands had long silky straight hair and I was never too be marketed as Progressive Rock as I have a afro, that was it one message read “stick to what you know” as to say this is not the allocated genre for me. It’s funny cos some people actually expect you to stick with the allocated genres like Hip Hop and make a bigger deal if you are of colour even though they are just getting on with it and not trying to be ground-breaking or life changing you actually like that genre and been listening for all your life and was brought up with it. It’s not a well known fact and I don’t really put it as one of genres I like but I like Country. I like Johnny Cash, Dolly Patron, Hank Williams and Pasty Cline or though Pasty Cline’s music reminds me of sitting by the bar drinking myself to oblivion cos my girlfriend cheated on me that’s the feeling I get from her music. But I like country more so when Grand Theft Auto San Andres came out it was one of my favourite but secret favourite stations. Okay it’s not my favourite genre but I enjoy it and actually reminds me of being in a bar or Karaoke night when Johnny Cash the second or Dolly Parton the second takes the stage. Not only that Country is seen as naff or Hillbilly it’s not cool for a young person to listen to Country in the eyes of the young but Beyonce will change that and make it more fashionable. Not only that she’s doing the music industry a big favour by making a Country album as there has been a resurged of Country music in the last couple of years so it works in their favour and music is more inspiring as I said I feel inspired by her two latest albums even though I would never make Country I haven’t got the tools for one or knowledge for two. I like the fact that other black artist incorporate country with other genres like Hip Hop and people who work for Billboards need to start welcoming country infused with other genres for the sake of Country they can always push out the traditional artists too. Hip Hop got turned into Trap which is a Southern America genre but the UK has it’s own spin too, so why not welcome the new styles of Country and allow black artist to shine and make changes instead of being part of the problem. It’s all down to the outside world perception and what they would call black or urban or white if there wasn’t such undertones of racism there would be more balance within the genres and more freedom to express the genres you like without the fear of being laughed at or being laughed at and also make the music you exactly like instead of spitting unmeaningful lyrics or being a stereotype you know you’re not all to fit into your culture. Though this isn’t one sided and comes from all the races and sides which is all tribalism based stuff and a interesting topic to talk about. The basis of real tribalism is working together as a team and putting any race issues aside the old your English I’m English that is one angle. But the Western tribalism is all clicky and you all must look the same to fit into the gang or tribe which translate into music so horribly well. That’s why it’s so important for people like Beyonce to smash a few doors down someone well known and has done the rounds and also respected. Just how many boy bands come after Take That or N’Sync how many Janet and Michael Jackson’s were there. They made music or was in a group that inspired so many people and Beyonce is one of those people and has inspired so many artists out now but granted she has her haters too but who doesn’t. I only said that as I think it would inspire black artist to do a country album or put elements in their songs who wasn’t even diehard country music fans to begin with. Not to mention as I said before it will aid other artists who make Country and put them on the map too and to also tell them to keep following their dreams even though the odds may be against them but now it works more in their favour. Popular music you hear say on the radio, on YouTube Music, Spotify etc etc it’s all been demographically done and should appeal to the massive not just a group of people or though it is marketed at them but it’s marketed for everyone at the same time. That’s why there is no colour when it comes to music genres and the way we consume it or even sex or though artists like the City Girls are pushed for the girls with all those hypersexual lyrics and money money money lines but it can appeal to anyone I liked Twerkalator I would of listened to that more if it was pushed but guess they have gone now. 

Chrisizer VST [FREE DOWNLOAD]

December 7, 2023

CHRISIZER VST PLUGIN [FREE DOWNLOAD]

It’s that time of year again it’s once again Christmas so I got into the festive mood by making another VST. I again used Romplur and this time Christmas sounds from Pixabay I used different FXs on the sounds and they were mostly hardware filters, but I like the sounds and think they came out well. There are 40 sounds 8 arp-type sounds and the rest is keys which is Christmas synthy sounds and some voice one too. It’s not all Christmas stuff and I would say you could use it in most genres. I used it on House, Synthwave and Jungle/Drum and Bass in my demo tracks which you can find below on this page but you are free to try it out on something else. The plugin for Windows and Mac has all the main knobs to shape your sound to what you like and has features like delay, reverb, chorus, phaser, HP and LP filters, glide, voice amount and the main features like attack, decay, sustain and release. I called it Chrisizer as it’s half the word Christmas and the other half is from synthesizer I wanted to have a Christmasy name and that was the best I could think of to be honest but I like it. I made the GUI in the picture above I used the Romplur website and their stuff to make it and I also used Gimp a free Photoshop program as Adobe takes ages to load and I always seem to have some sort of issue with it but Gimp works a treat. Below is a demo video with all the sounds in the VST and three demo tracks I made which is a mix genre single I put together so you can see the finished sound, anyway enjoy the free download and Merry Christmas.  

DEMO VIDEO

DEMO AUDIO

FREE VST DOWNLOAD

[Download not found]
[Download not found]

Another Haunting Dream

October 6, 2023

Introduction

I had this nightmare or dream last night it was a recurring dream of me being in a nuclear bomb explosion and the fallout around that. I already did an Ebook on the last couple I had cos now I had at least six or seven dreams or nightmares but they are more like anxiety dreams. I explained that it was probably from the aeroplanes going past and it sounded like a bomb just got dropped or that’s how I think it sounded or my brain should I say thinks it sounds. I recently finished a zombie game where I got the template online and did my own thing with IE. I made the sprites including the zombies and other stuff in the game, which is why I had zombies in my dream or a zombie  but I’ll leave a link to both the game and Ebook below if you want to check that out it’s all free and on this website. I didn’t read the news article or watch the video but there was an explosion in Oxfordshire apparently it was a gas tank that got hit by lightning and there was a big fireball the thumbnail to the video looked like it was a nuclear explosion which probably is another factor of me having the dream or nightmare but it’s been a while since I had one and was quite scary exactly in parts I was on my edge of the seat in my dream and real uptight and on edge I remember that. 

Mental Release

In the first part, I was in a mental hospital or a prison or it could have been both as it goes one bit to the next like you just fast forward the ads. The television was on and a nuclear explosion had just happened somewhere. I’m not really sure what happened before that but I think the news reporter got munched by a zombie after the nuclear explosion and it panned and stayed on the horizon of a field or whatever the backdrop was. I was then let out of the prison or asylum because of the explosion they said I was let out on good behaviour even though I was causing some sort of ruckus over something that I can’t remember. But I remember thinking I can’t believe they were letting me out but was quick out the door.  I rushed home because of the pandemic and presumably because of the explosion too. As I was making my way home on foot I went down alleys and roads that were best described as the Black Mirror episode where she wakes up and finds she’s the only person to be in existence but there was a bit where she’s walking down the roads and passed houses as you would see in Coronation street or up north new built attached houses. Something happened just before I appeared in my flat in the next bit I remember but it was something that shook me a bit in my dream and happened around the newly built house and was like the Civic Center dream I had and mentioned in the Ebook there’s a whole chapter dedicated to that part of the dream.

Home At Last

The next bit I was in my flat there was some sort of row in my bedroom. I’m still unsure what it was about but it was something major and taking up a lot of my time as I had plans to leave for the town as it might have been said on the news at the asylum or prison to leave your homes and head to safety, I’m not too sure.  Something caused me to leave my flat I think as I said wanted to head to town and get to safety so I walked which took some time and was slow-paced. Also, I was in my flat for some time as I couldn’t leave but I wanted to and had to wait for something but again I’m not sure what. I think I watched TV and got more updates of the explosion and watched normal TV as they told us on the TV we were safe and that nothing is going on even though there was a nuclear explosion live on TV and also a zombie attack or some sort of beast but I think it was a zombie as it looked more like but it wanted blood.

Up The Market

I was by Old Market Street it’s the main point or one of the main points into town coming from the outskirts of Bristol and is a famous street in Bristol it’s well known and not for it’s roughness. I was attacked by a zombie as I made my way into town and also met someone after I got attacked by a zombie and we stole a car because, in the car we were advised to get into a car but that was it and we thought another nuclear explosion was going to happen. Not only that there was some sort of barricade blocking the way to walk and only cars were going past there weren’t that many cars but there were one or two. The car journey didn’t last that long and we ended up going our different ways once we got into the main town part which was outside Debenhams but at the back entrance away from the main street and overlooking a busy road, opposite a busy bus stop and a Beefeater but in my dream the bus stop and Beefeater wasn’t there. It wasn’t busy in my dream either and no one standing on my side of the road even near the main road by Marks & Spensers I was standing at the top of the road so nowhere near there but I could see all the way down.

Wait Your Turn

So there I was outside Debenhams and I saw people on either side of the road. It looked different to how it looked in reality. The road had barriers on both sides, queuing up to leave town. There must have been talk of authorities or some man who took over the town whilst it was in a state and in panic well I think the authorities told us to leave and the man whoever he was, was trying to get everyone to stay why I have no idea but it seemed like a cunning plan he was going to hatch. I didn’t know what was going on as in people queuing to leave Bristol till I saw these queues of people and found out then.  Whilst queuing up we all learned of the man who wanted us to stay in Bristol which we knew we were going to die if we stayed and somehow he was holding us back but this was our actual freedom. Why and how who knows but it was decided we were going to hunt him down and set off to his destination. He may have been a zombie creator whatever it was it was bad enough to go hunt for him down and win back our freedom. Some people were talking of staying if they managed to get hold of this man whoever he was. We then went to look for him, hearing that he had escaped to a theatre so that’s where we headed to and wasn’t much of a walk but seemed longer in the dream. 

The Show Begins

The theatre was cordoned off with wood fencing, but music was blasting from the outside speakers with flood lights that were still on in the day time. The zombie creator or whoever he was stood behind the wooden fencing and behind a wall out of view and we all knew he was there but couldn’t get to him who knows what would have happened but all that could be seen was his shadow. There were two entrances in the front and two as you go in like an old-fashioned cinema entrance or theatre you might still see and a  pink neon lighting and writing in a cool font I was admiring the font with the neon light and there was music playing. It sounded nice at the beginning like cinematic music then it went all wired and hard to hear the music and was like a distorted wired noise it scared some of the people but not everyone. The next bit was away from the theatre it seemed around the corner but there was talk of some people held captive nearby and just as it happened our freedom was awaiting at this location but we were warned it wasn’t pretty or it was going to be just a walk in the park but we were all worried about it and didn’t know where we were going end up, especially with the zombies or whatever they were but we were up for it and wanted to be at the final place with no drama.

Nightmare In The Woods

Next, there was a long trek, for someone gave us the next clue as to what we had to do next, we had to leave Bristol. We trekked to this place or it morphed into woodland it was rather dark in the woods but  was still light out of the woodlands. There were zombies or dead bodies all over the place and covered the forest floor. The whole floor was covered with bodies every last patch of woodland and there was this skeleton zombie thing that looked human at first until I got closer and recognized it wasn’t alive it had a lantern in its hand. Some bodies were still alive but pretended to be dead and was a horrific sight I nearly ran away. The whatever it was with the lantern didn’t detect me and let me pass but was sniffing the next person as it was standing there like it was in a zombie game and I remember quickly walking ahead at a fast pace before it detected me and not to see the fate of the person behind me who knows what happened to them? The creature with the lantern, they were over-seers and looked strong and powerful oh there was also groaning going on coming from the creature and some of the bodies on the floor it was terrifying, I was looking for someone in particular, but then discovered that they were one of the dead bodies on the ground in the woods so I had to get out of there as soon as I could and that’s what I did I got out safe and I think there were loads of undead creatures by that point and chased me out of the woods into the daylight again as that felt like it was the safe zone again.

The Chase Is On

During this last bit of the dream, I ran into a building, it was a side-view like a long mobile builder’s hut, it had windows but at the same time it was a train maybe it was part of an old railway line in Bristol onwards to Bath but at first it looked like a hut. I was by the window so I opened it oh there was also some unhidden danger that I faced so I opened the window to get a better look and saw a crowd and a man, not the person or the unhidden danger but they were all running away down the hill as it looked mountain. I had my head hanging out of the window and they were running away from me because I was shouting and waving for them to go there was also this weird eclipse that happened too shortly before I chased people away and also a quick glimpse of some dragon King Kong I don’t know what it was but it looked a lot like that and then I then woke up once again relived it was only a dream especially the woodland bit I was shook it felt like I seen it all before but a different dream.