The Fame Game And The Controversial Rise Of The Downfall

January 3, 2025

THE RISE OF THE INTERNET

 I was born in the 80s 1985 to be exact so back then fame was a big deal and not something you could do willy-nilly and you had to have a talent and also something you would work ranks to get to the top and earn a top dollar or at least get some credit for say your singing abilities or stage presents or break boundaries which is one music is meant to be about. Music connects audiences and makes so many memories for the audience for good or for bad and we have that one song that reminds us of a good experience and thankfully that would never die out. Having to break down doors in order just to sing or be heckled for being quote-unquote the wrong colour isn’t new and as we should all know by now was something the greats of the singing and entertainment community had to overcome in the olden days. However, once again this is old news and something that still happens to this day.  It is more accessible if you will to become famous for any colour but it still is met with trolls, backlash and cancel culture. I will use Michael Jackson and Beyonce as a newer example but two people and Michael’s sister Janet Jackson too three people who with sold-out tours and worked their butts off to get that coin and recognition in this cold world. In my earlier years of being on this earth Prince, Madonna and Michael Jackson were the three who dominated the world with their talents and presence and in the 90s and 00s things changed since the rise of Paris Hilton, the rise of the internet and gossip outlets and magazines. This happened especially in the 2000s with the downfall of Britney Spears and her infamous meltdown and attack on the press. Also, the start of YouTube which was on Beta and had that boy I can’t remember his name but he did skits about his abusive mother who locked him in the basement and then came Shane Dawson. It’s funny actually on a side note as I was going to do a two-minute skit it didn’t rely on being over the top it was actually quite bitchy and did mean putting on a wig. Anyway, I didn’t do it in the end as funny as some of the skits were they were over the top and being copied by other people and some were just either stupid or damn mean. The internet changed after that and it was and still is but more than ever it was a place where you could get insightful information or tune in to a live stream which meant you were either dealing with a big spender or someone who got a deal with their internet company who always specialised in graphic design. I was lucky I had the internet when it first was publicly accessible around 1998 as my dad worked in the office for a council and it was mandatory to have it to access the ever-growing emails they receive from both clients and the office. Around the same time maybe a year or two after some libraries were giving free access to the internet but you had to book it up if it wasn’t free or alternatively come back when they weren’t being used. Having the internet at home was also quite expensive still and meant the good dial-up internet which meant slow loading speeds, computer freezing, and long waiting times to connect to the internet and countless other tedious problems you just couldn’t fix unless you were a computer technician. So going to the library for a few hours to post something in a forum, get advice or even message your favourite celebrity or singer/actor/actress and hope to get a response and they used to no they probably listen to the advice from their manager or publicists who tell them not to respond but you would be lucky to get a retweet nowadays for example. But basically having access to the internet was a big deal and something that at the time was either unaffordable or just not in the budget. When I first started on the Internet in 1998 around it was full of design companies and also forums but it wasn’t that much on there which is probably why most people didn’t buy into the Internet at first and they could get it for free at the library or in the office for people who worked in the offices. There was a big talk on the fate of the Internet and it was determined it should become a place for knowledge and fun stuff and something that should be accessible to all at reasonable prices and should eventually be free I’m still waiting for that to happen lol. So they basically made it all that and the internet as we know it or used to know was born. Oh and the rise of the webcam around the 2000s meant you didn’t need any technicians and cables running through your setup to stream live feeds which opened the door to Beta YouTube in my opinion which was unfiltered and uncensored which meant you could do or say whatever you liked apart from the cops who sometimes pick up on illegal active and come down on them. Also worth noting algorithms were still fun experiments for the nerd to have fun with there was no market or great reliance on using it and knowing. It was big social media companies on the internet today like YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, X formally known as Twitter rely on and were built on but is still something anyone can jump to you just need to know how to get attention and keeping attention. 

SUBSTANCE AND FLAVOURS

Fast forward to the present time and the change of the Internet and as we have seen it is technically easier than ever to get famous. I say technically as you still have to post lots for visibility and compete with others who are just like you or who copy you and other factors but you can have that one song or video or even tweet that blows up and you get handed what I would call the fame baton stick. I’m not saying it’s all the way a bad thing as I think it’s a cool thing for singers, actors and actresses, comedians, and producers like me to get some attention and most importantly not have to have an agent or label to manage but it’s definitely becoming an issue. Lil’ Kim is my favourite female rapper so I’m accustomed to potty mouth lyrics and quote-unquote trick me out with diamonds and pearls, eat my cat and you ain’t shit sentiments and I always favoured female Hip Hop other than male so nothing is shocking or new to me but the issue people are having or one of them is the two female artists who both jumped into the scene and are the current let’s say the current baton holders. 

Sexy Red (picture above) and Ice Spice are two questionable female artists in the current scene of Hip Hop and are known for their lack of substance in lyrics and like Ice Spice’s lack of substance and just shaking her ass on stage or in the videos. After that one song they did in Sexy Redd’s case Pound Town and in Ice Spice’s Munch people started to question the substance and the lack of it talking about the same old issues as Lil’ Kim and rappers around the same time did like Foxy Brown and Trina and also to mention Khia who Trina and Khia came after Lil’ Kim and Foxy Brown and was in the 2000s but followed on their now blueprint of female Hip Hop. Having the same style of rap throughout your whole catalogue or having foul lyrics which is the case for the pair of them is something that is overdone in the now Hip Hop world and things are becoming meaningless and soulless and just done for shock value instead of talking about real issues and your own issues like mental health which I think doesn’t get talked about enough and is glamorised and sensualised by the main media but that’s a different topic. Thanks to things like  Instagram and IG models and celebrities from all the range bodies are being glamorised and obsessed to the point normal people from normal lives are going under the knife to get that body they desire and be like the celebrity they always admired in pretty value with in some cases horrifying and regretting circumstances. Things are more how you look, what you got and what you are worth other than qualities you may have or actual talent and substance. I don’t really know much about Sexxy Redd or her music other than her booty hole is round.

However, Ice Spice was recently heavily pressed on YouTube with tiles like The End Of Ice Spice and YouTube commentaries talking about her two ex-friends who claim Ice Spice was horrible to and treated them dirty on tour and in their personal life and one of them claims she was bullied by Ice Spice in school. Also, the heavily talked about text conversations where Ice Spice called Niki Minaj being like her mum ungrateful but that’s again a whole new topic. Ice Spice uses the rap style of Drill music no no no actually drills are used on the tracks it’s a repetitive but catchy style that is used in New York Drill music and also UK Drill which replaced UK Grime here in the UK. In portions it’s enjoyable and something I personally can listen to for around two hours without getting bored of the same style of rapping. This is the case for Ice Spice who since her breakout track Munch has gone on to do the same song with a different beat with the same Drill style every song feels the same. The other thing that was talked about Ice Spice was accused of using the drug Ozempic to lose weight. For those who don’t know the drug is intended for people with Diabetes and also something I forgot to mention people fell in love with her assets her curves and ass so when she lost weight and lost those assets people mocked her and straight out told her we don’t like you any more now, you are a twig. Also, people began to notice the pattern of poo references in her music in one track she raps I don’t need a Diaper but I’m Miss Poopy and in another one, she raps and is the title of the track you think you’re the shit you’re not even a fart and has a fart sound on the track which was apparently a diss to fellow female rapper Latto in an ongoing beef between the two. This brings me to the next thing people have been talking about a lot and Ice Spice and Latto is one of them being flavours IE Bi-racial and pretty privileged. For those who don’t know Hollywood and the music industry you might as well say mainstream media have a preference and that’s either white or bi-racial people with killer looks and cheekbones and assets. The media is perpetuated with these images and rarely shares people with dark complexions or gives them chances. Thanks to things like slavery and also the repressions around the world black people as a whole don’t get given a fair chance and this is included in their day-to-day life too especially in Hollywood and in the music industry. Since the ancient days, people with lighter skin were seen as more attractive and seen as things like more trustworthy or friendly and also the soaps were used to become just like them and have a fairer chance or to become quote-unquote pretty. The psychological effect of bad history and the imagery of what must seemed like a white-dominated world in Hollywood and the media and also the effect of seeing racist imagery like black face and stereotypical stuff like being slow or eating watermelon thankfully people in the present day are starting to question and push back from making everyone accountable for what was said and done even if that meant digging in the vault and looking for evidence or making your favourite entertainer accountable for their actions. Tyra Banks is someone who comes to mind when talking about controversy and being made accountable. For those who don’t know who Tyra Banks is she’s a black supermodel and host to the infamous America’s Next Top Model TV show where contestants compete to have a shoot with Vouge and earn some money as well.  Now I won’t talk about the black face incident where the white women were made to use cosmetics to briefly change their skin colour as I believe that was done in good intent and should be an experience all non-racial people should experience. I was more thinking of the time Tyra told one contestant in the elimination process she was to straighten her hair as it was too curly and in another bit she said she was acting too black and that was the feedback she was getting from others. This is the problem in Hollywood, the music industry and in mainstream media as a whole and is not something I don’t care for or entertain. Being Bi-racial with both African and Scottish roots and with an understanding of who I am and where I came from and also the uphill struggle of black and bi-racial people as a whole I found that hard to watch when it first aired in the 2000s and it’s funny actually how it was brought up cos I was outraged and started to question Tyra’s alliance with her own people and the state of the model world when first watching it. I still believe prettiness comes in all shapes and sizes and skin tones. I see a lot of black women and think they are attractive they seriously don’t know what they are on about and that happens quite frequently. I really don’t understand why people could say that person can’t be attractive as they are too dark it doesn’t make sense to me whatsoever. There was a complete attack on bi-racial people all over social media and debates on mostly YouTube and TikTok saying we hated black people, we could do whatever we liked, we were not suppressed, we think a lot of ourselves and that was hard to watch. There was evidence of this with countless stupid bi-racial people being racist and being all that my gran would say pretty pretty in front of the camera and that was annoying as I hate people who make a show of themselves on camera and are obsessed with their looks it’s so annoying and also are racists, especially to their own race. I do understand though the complexity of it all and have seen for myself being me as an example of favouritism and unfair treatment but like I said I never did and never will stand for it and get called out and worked on as I hate unfair treatment and I hate the fact some people hate me because of my skin colour cos that’s the other thing I get it from both ends and beyond.

SORRY CANCELLED IT'S OVER PARTY

As I said holding someone accountable for their actions is very important and not something you should do carelessly or with ease. In some cases I have seen people jump on them for the littlest things come to find out it was misunderstood and was nothing or misinformation being spread about them and also the sorry (insert star here) it’s over party on X formally known as Twitter it was relentless and silly some were just to keep the party going of hungry Twitter users who most likely hated that person or the world but not everyone. In some cases, it’s done with a valid reason and this is due to the ever-growing rise of the internet and the realization and getting tired of the same behaviour shown by celebrities and them not revolving to be a better person. It used to be one rule for us one rule for them so to speak and the fact people, me personally used to make excuses and not believe the allegations made against them and put it down to the haters and clout chasers who are always lying and starting new schemes to get that dollar. Now you get held accountable and people are finding fewer excuses to make and are tired of toxic behaviour, misinformation and bad products. Being sold a lie is very easy for Hollywood and the music industry to do and it is all based on your image and public perception and also your own talents or used to be. So when it doesn’t meet our knowledge and requirements it’s easy to get hurt and feel betrayed and at times used or like most times betrayed as you sold me a fake image and was all based on greed, power and fabrications or though sometimes it was for the best and was done to keep number one happy yourself. Most importantly you feel stupid as you may have defended that person internally or vocally or made excuses for them so when you come to find out that person was fake or a bit of an excuse my tone but a bit of a prick or both you feel hurt and let down and more than ever more inclined to call them out not to make the same mistake of being complacent and accepting bad and toxic behaviour and also as it’s easier than ever to do without being jumped on but of course you always got the stans to watch out for and not be attacked by them for ringing bells or even criticizing that person or having a laugh in my case. Thanks to social media and cancel culture several celebrities and YouTubers have been cancelled and put under heavy scrutiny which has brought their problems to a lot of people’s attention especially their fans and unknown audiences. The ones I’ve been watching and have watched are the coverage of Jeffery Star, Mr Beast, Ice Spice, P. Diddy and James Charles with all the in-betweens like the Sugar Bear Gate incident. 

Jeffery Star a YouTube makeup guru and before that a singer on My Space and known for his controversial lyrics and imagery and is now known for his pallets of Makeup he formalises and does himself apparently got cancelled for past videos of him being racist to a passer-by and involved battery acid which is shocking as who would say such a thing. Throwing acid in someone’s face is something that has no words to describe as for saying that even for a joke and shouldn’t be entertained in the least not to mention using violent and aggressive language and bad body language is a no-no even if you were wasted and you couldn’t control yourself. Since then he has been cancelled many times for a set of reasons but still, manages to climb his way back to most of the viewer’s eyes. His bad bitch persona and his ever-growing apologies videos where he apologises for his actions says he’s been disgraceful and holds himself accountable but still makes the same mistakes he said sorry for and keeps it moving rubs a lot of people up the wrong way and his name leaves a bitter taste in some mouths judging by the venom of the tone of voice or what and how they said it. To sum up his success he is the YouTube makeup guru’s Michael Jackson and his makeup pallets sell very well selling out in most cases in the day and has also or used to have quite a following before all the incidents came to light and people saw a toxic side of him rather than what was fed to them a package good boy deal.  There’s nothing wrong with that though as we look for pure and real people we can relate to take Aaliyah the R’n’B singer who was out in the early 90s  up to her death in August 2001 where she died sadly in a plane crash which people are still speculating till this day but different topic. Aaliyah was pure not saying she had her moments and she was always angelic but she had a nice spirit and worked hard and was always appreciative and respectful which is why I can see why Beyonce is always mentioned in comparisons as if you are on about all those things mentioned and the fact they are good singers and dancers. But Aaliyah is highly regarded cos not only did she work hard and come up with that flavour she also knew what the streets would like and gave good performances, songs, albums, videos and interviews she was always highly respectful to her peers and fellow workmates IE the competition of the time like her well known rival Brandy which was nothing more than a kick up dust from the media to get people talking and to get more views and more money in the bank but I guess they were rivals but friendly ones as they both were competing for albums and singles sales and being both black female R’n’B singers who were in both cases had a successful single and album out everyone just couldn’t put down myself included. What I was trying to say before I got caught in the whirlwind is people myself included look for pure, outgoing, bubbly, talented well spoken in a articulate fashion kind of people who are worthy of our time and most importantly our money. They don’t have to be all those things or even one in Heinz sight but as long as they appreciate what we give them our time and money and support which can be consuming and of course what they have got as we ain’t got nothing so go and live the best life and stop complaining I’m really not trying to hear you are gutted cos you didn’t get that bag you saw at the mall come to find out the price of this bag and the wish of wanting to be rich but not famous which is something I always thought and worked on even though I make music and have three websites and is always typing or doing something on the internet but the fact is some of them are just ungrateful or overwhelmed with the price tag of fame and the second one is okay to be. 

Once again I have someone in mind so bringing the spotlight over to Doja Cat a successful and talented Pop, R’n’B and Hip Hop artists who is by the way also bi-racial and has had a few incidents including talking to known to Neo Nazis and letting them be opening racist even joining in one incident and being openly racist herself in her songs and on tweets and chats but that’s not what we are talking about and already covered racism in the last part but side note this is not acceptable and shouldn’t be allowed but she is young and dumb I wasn’t always this squeaky clean even though I was clean I too made inappropriate jokes about other races bar the accents I do and was only when I was around in my late twenty’s did I start to question my antics and was not what I actually believed in or understand and was more just for jokes even though some were offensive even to black people and my own kind so I do believe in being young and dumb but at the end of the day I didn’t want people to get the wrong impression of me or think I was part of the problem so I stopped and used other ways to get a laugh out of someone or even myself watching stuff on YouTube and silly memes and being silly. But Doja Cat openly mocked and laughed at her fans at the fact her album which is a Pop album and was something she didn’t admire was nothing more than a crash grab and was part of a scheme to hype up the new release she was making at the time which was a Hip Hop/Trap album and something she wanted to make. This caused her after the other reasons stated and more to be cancelled and seem ungrateful for all the hard work the fans and stans did for her which was spent on her and give time and support and people were left hurt some admitting to crying and what did she do mock them some more laughing at them and telling them emotion blackmail wasn’t cutting it and she wasn’t going to say she liked the album and repeated the cash grab gag.  Not to mention the comments people left on the internet before and after that incident saying how they were tired of the ungrateful selfish narcissistic celebrities and how they were looking for real grateful talent to spend time and money on which was always the theme growing up and before the internet but somehow most people find themselves where they left off at the hands of the evil apart from the most shocking crimes do people stop messing with some tuning in secret until it has all blown over and many being OTT and not caring what they did and still tune in like and comment their love for that person and then there are people like me who wait for a case in court and hear the verdict and go from there as I believe with accusations comes evidence and you should ask for more evidence before you make your final decision and say out that person or start to have a dislike for them or in most cases you start to feel a type of way for them which is usually a negative impact.

Some of the rumours were started by Tasha K a gossip and drama channel on YouTube and at its height had over a million subscribers and eventually got cancelled and sued by female rapper Cardi  B for spreading misinformation about her and her husband and rapper Off Set. But some of the lies she spread which huh is being echoed more times than your voice in a cave till this day and this was in the 2010s but the lies she spread about not just Cardi B and Offset but also Aaliyah was shocking and was damn right disrespectful especially saying Aaliyah died with an STD and she was always burning up from all the man she ran through it was something like that I was shouting for Aaliyah’s mum to sue her for deflation and assignation of character as she also accused Aaliyah’s mom of pimping her out to R Kelly and any passers-by in the music industry because her mom was on her knees IE struggling. But these were the things people should question and not feed into without evidence also serious allegations of sexual assault and being a predator but that should be taken more seriously but again should come with evidence like a legit person to back up your claims or serious legal action against that person or something recorded like a video or at worse a voice recording. 

P. Diddy formally known as Puff Daddy his other alias are Sean Combs and Puffy Sean Combs or Puffy exploded onto the scene in the early 90s when he started his record company Bad Boy Records and has had successful artists like Craig Mack, Faith Evans, Lil’ Kim, 112, Mase, The Loxs, Total and the Late Notorious B.I.G his most successful artists on the label and countless others. He started when he was an intern for record company Interscope and turned into a venture after being fired by Interscope but after finding lots of R’n’B acts for Interscope they were loyal and ditched their plans to sign to Bad Boy. He has then gone on to become one of the most successful record company owners and moguls branching out in fashion with his Sean Combs line and also alcohol with his drink Ciroc Vodka I don’t drink but that drink had me obsessing selling other alcoholic and none alcoholic beverages too with other ventures. One thing he was known for in the celebrity and eventually the world was his parties. His lavish parties which cost no less than a million and were extravagant brought in the in crowds of the celebrity world and went on for days even carrying the party on to a different location sometimes which meant flying to a different part of the world which was seen on one of his birthdays I think I don’t blame him good for him is what I say. His parties and other allegations have come to light about Diddy his other aaliis name like what happens at the parties since countless celebrities and non-celebrities have come out to say I went to a Puffy party and there were freak-offs. For those who don’t know what the expression freak offs is it is a term used when two males, females, other or different sexes do freakish things to each other to compete for money or affection from the power or breadwinner. Puff’s freak-offs are apparently forced and you are made to do it in the hope he would sign you or the fact he could ruin you as you now hold the secret of the powerful so-called straight man. 

The infamous Fabulous interview where Puff is sat down with several male Hip Hop artists including Fabulous and Puff is looking drunk and thirsty for a bit of hanky panky at times lusting for fabulous a rapper from the 2000s and tempting him to come to one of his parties by inviting him which Fabulous looked kind of nervous and responds no thanks I don’t party or something like that. At the time watching it as I also watched that interview when it was published it did make me wonder one why did fabulous looked so spooked and two what goes on in those parties. Other allegations which are more what I now call foundation is sex trafficking, drugging and use of drugs, rape, mental and physical abuse, exploitation, and unfair deals but he later gave back the publishing rights back to some of the owners of the songs and the ones who wrote and performed them. 

Also, Cassie the R’n’B singer from the 2000s who was also signed to Bad Boy filed a civil case and later settled for $30 million out of court after she came out with claims of rape, mental and physical abuse by Puff and also being trafficked and sleeping with male prostitutes against her will and those sexy times being filmed and sent to people in Hollywood and the music industry. Those allegations were sort of backed up by some but for me for being an abusive person when that now infamous recording of what it appears to be Cassie escaping Puff and Puff running down the corridor after Cassie and kicking her ordering her to get back into the room. Puff was taking a shower at the time so he was dressed in only a towel and his flip flops and Cassie looked scared and was on the floor and visibly shaken like the audience after watching it and could be quite triggering for those who have been in a one-sided abusive relationship. Puff quickly messaged the world and later did an apology video saying how disgusted he was and how he was working on his demons and also how he hated himself watching back the video of the Cassie elevator incident. But this wasn’t enough for most and they called for Puff to be arrested like a normal person would and to push back on male-to-female violence and he was also cancelled for good with people saying this was the end of Puff and pointing fingers at people like Beyonce and Jay Z taunting them by saying you are next which later got captured by the same title and calling Beyonce and Jay Z demonic and predators and Opera Winfrey too. Since the Michael Jackson court case and the Me Too movement the movement that happened in the 2010s and was about sharing stories of being raped and fighting your aggressor and your own demons since the event. There have been a lot of people who I believe were brought down due to the knock from the knock-on effect of the Me Too movement such as

Jeffrey Epstein a wealthy billionaire who hanged himself in Prison and while waiting for the court case and his girlfriend and sex offender assistant Ghislaine Maxwell, 

Bill Cosby the actor and comedian,

 R Kelly the R’n’B singer of the 90s, 

 

Harvey Weinstein the film director 

Dahvie Vanity with his band Blood On The Dancefloor which is the same title’s of Michael Jacksons later album may I add. This is the debate Jeffery Star who is also tied to Dahvie as they were both from the My Space era and they both toured together whilst the allegations were being made but Jeffery swears he’s never seen anything and flip-flopped on the whole thing in one instance saying how nasty he was and a month or two later or somewhere down the line after calling him a brother and how lovely he was also later going back on tour with after calling him nasty and a sexual predator and even worse a child sex offender but he’s done that more than once but more on that in a bit. And now we have Puff to add to that list as he is currently in jail awaiting trial for sex trafficking but all the other stuff I mentioned too. With the fast pace of the internet and the now desire to speak your mind about issues, you have about yourself or with other people such as being raped or being fairly mistreated and be heard by people not just some crazy talk you had on a chat room back in the day where you accidentally spill tea and go even more crazier by not stopping and confessing even more tea but no one takes you that serious. Also, the a demand for truth seekers who are kind are expected to give their view on pressing issues nowadays or they will be known as complacent one and part of the problem also people not using their platforms to do so like talk about things like racism and unfair treatment and also people just want to know your opinion and points of view are you righty are you a lefty are you bias or non-bias so many questions, not enough time. It goes back to the Aaliyah and Beyonce thing but so many others too it’s all about relatability as you flock with those who think like you and are relatable and like some shun the ones who don’t or at least pay them no mind. I wouldn’t call Puff relatable as he was flashy all about the sex thirst and being rich and successful flaunting wealth and promoting prettiness all the things I hate but he had likeability which is another factor you have to have if ever became famous. This is the exception of his reality TV show I Want To Work For Diddy a reality show in the 2000s where contestants could win an intern deal with Diddy and work for him. That really put me off him and showed his egoistic and exploitation side and was not something I never bought into when I signed up and the thing I have an issue with and is being brought up is the unfair use of wealth and mostly power. If true it seems Puff gets a kick out of making people powerless and dangles his wealth and power over innocent straight males and females to get some sort of gratification from it and is his cocaine which funny enough reminds me of some of the coke heads and I’m not suggesting he’s a coke head but is the same power struggle and kick they get from making someone weak and holding power over them. I’m not mad at Puff I’m disappointed ha the good old I’m not mad I’m disappointed a bit motherly but okay. I think he needs help for his sex addiction and being controlling and holding power over people other than being held accountable in the courtroom as everyone should have their time in court if strong allegations are made and you are arrested and taken to court I’m always listening to the max in that way but I do listen to all the stories even though it’s hard to figure out the truth seekers from the clout chasers and the ones with good intent like lying to get other people the real truth seekers to speak out and end this whole gossip mill. Also so people get heard as their friends who like the others sit in silence because they would get shouted down, laughed and mocked or no one will believe them saying nasty things like you probably gave the wrong signals or they enjoyed it and they were only looking for a quick pay cheque or how lucky they were and they wished it was them. Also, some people feel some type of way about you when you have been raped judging by some people I met in my personal life and what they say and this sadly includes friends and family too. So holding people accountable and like Puff and the others I mentioned that are now convicted sex offenders and predators but not for Puff’s case not for now as he hasn’t had his court case but for the others, it was a good thing and they deserved what was being served to them as at the end of the day rape and misuse of power but especially rape and sexual misconduct ruins lives. The predator can always live another day with no worry of being called out or any worries whilst the one who went through it has to live day by day with suicidal thoughts and doing things like attempting suicide, self-harming, irrational behaviour, mistrust and alcohol and substance abuse in a mechanism of copying and going through the pain. Waking up each day and going through the ordeal and feeling dirty used and disposable and betrayed as this is the person you trusted and looked up to and they slip you the wrong drink and your ashes on the floor or so you feel like. Some of them get a kick from this and is their downfall in the same breathe as somewhere down the line you will get angry by realizing that person was holding the rape over your head and the feeling of not being alone even if some of them swear but more hope they were the only one but something tells them they ain’t alone and they must speak the truth even though that means fighting alone and even though you will eventually meet your crowd of people you hoped didn’t exist IE other victims who had the same fate by that person and like them. I think it should also be done as it stops people from running into the traps and keeps the public informed of stuff happening our eyes will never see to make better decisions of who we accept and don’t accept and who we spend money and time on. So cancel culture as controversial thing as it is and where we all now can cancel someone’s work and is something that is necessary at times to stop the bad that happens or at least slow it down to minimal speed making it harder to repeat history and to make environments including our own more cleaner and transparent so the next person doesn’t have to deal with the downfalls and the hardships you would face when dealing with Hollywood, the music industry and of course mainstream media. Not to mention it’s a good thing as the money I spent could be going to or you are supporting the lifestyle of a sex offender and someone who doesn’t care for the lives of others which is basically your own co-sign with the devil. 

I will use the chocolate brand Cadburys to explain further. Before their clean up and that includes other well-known brands like Nescafe, Primark and the meat industry with how meat is reared in poor conditions and without any medical treatment and other issues like boxed calves, imprisoned sows and mistreatment of animals by fast food companies like KFC but so many other companies from all the range with different or the same issues all to widen their margins and compete with other companies who do or is similar to them. But before the media clean up and their efforts to become more informed and better companies and brands and before and during the rise of the internet it was sometimes made known by mostly insightful undercover documentaries which was an undercover agent reporter who would get a job at a bad company or brand and film evidence to show the general public of all the at times horrific things they were doing leaving it up to us to decide what action was to be taken as it wasn’t just made to say look at this ain’t it terrible at a guess and was something you take some sort of action against like what they were asking for demanding change, doing better and keeping us all informed instead of hiding it and it becoming the dirty secret that could ruin your brand or company when it came out. By accepting the problems from these greedy companies and other fields and behaviour spectrums you are being part of the problem and throwing your money at the devil or as I said doing a co-signing or a contract with the devil and you are throwing your soul away if you do so in my opinion. Again being informed about unethical practices and misuse of power from well-known brands and companies and the fact they can be cancelled and boycotted cos boycotting comes with the cancellation if you want to get your toes fully wet. But the fact they can be cancelled and boycotted is power to the people and is something that is very important in the climate of today. People don’t want to eat, wear or buy into something that was made from mistreatment humans and animals respectable though animals get the worse wrap out of the two, and also it must be cleanly made not something that was made and polluting the earth which is something companies are only starting to acknowledge and work on which does get a shout if they are doing all the good things they say they do say on the label print of your favourite brand or company. The other thing people expect when buying into a company or brand is and is nothing new but we expect quality and good for your money. Okay with the prices of high-end products, it’s not always easy to give the customer value so maybe not the second thing is quantity as my friend would say it’s quality over quantity and with these high-end brands it is just that. But charging ridiculous prices for stuff you could get up to 60% sometimes 90% cheaper that works and is more affordable come to find out what you paid for was a dud and you are not happy with the product no matter how much you pretend and justify it by saying things like maybe it’s just this one or maybe I got it wrong with getting it to work properly you still ain’t happy and felt let down and once again betrayed or at best confused as that’s not what was sold to me or I was told or even read about as some people pay other people to post fake reviews or positive posts around the social media and \the internet which is why I always use Trust Pilot for legit reviews on products I’m buying to make sure I know what I’m buying into and this wasn’t always how I was but I learned from my mistakes. 

Mr Beast is the most successful YouTuber to date and specializes in fast-paced quote unquote action-packed short videos where you would have several people who would compete for a life-changing amount of money or in some videos give away money and luxury items to random strangers in all cases people who were poor and couldn’t afford or wished they had that type of money. The most shocking videos were the Making 100 Blind People See For The First Time video and his follow-up video Making 100 Deaf People Hear For The First Time which I thought seeing on my timeline was just outrageous. Okay, it was good that someone was paying for their surgery and they get to hear or see for the first time or in years and decades and was something they always dreamt of but could never afford it. It’s the god-like persona and throwing water in the other people’s faces who never got the chance to win that raffle to get their eyes or ears worked over. Also, the expression coined by a disabled person it was something like disability porn which means media using disabled people as props to make the non-disability people feel better about themselves and think I’m not that bad it could be worse quote unquote and in most cases those people are used and slowly or rapidly flushed out the conversation when they are done using that person or people. Do I think Mr Beast cares and was using disabled people as disability porn no I don’t but I know he cares about ratings and is smart when it comes to trends on YouTube and what makes a great video, thumbnail and gaining a worldwide audience it’s transactionally without a doubt but I do believe he does it with good intent and is generally a nice person and nothing yet has alerted me about him like toxic behaviour apart from the office banter and that can always get offensive so mwah. He was recently put under the microscope and was cancelled losing views and probably money due to the two things I will briefly explain. As I said his videos are fast-paced and have a big budget and kind of populated the market on YouTube for high-end good high-quality videos and it is noted the style he was doing and created was recreated by some after seeing the amount of views he had and just for reference his best videos is Squid Game In Real Life with a whopping 541 million views earning. $456,000 in revenue off YouTube making him one of the most successful YouTubers and one of the most watched YouTubers of the time. But with all those views and money came the scrutiny like where was this money coming from like $500.000, the money for the Ferrari car classic red style that you might have seen one in real life or at the best and you were born before the the late 90s seen on Gran Turismo game on PlayStation one or two I can’t remember now not important though. Well apparently the money wasn’t just coming from the revenues of videos or even his failed ventures but more on that in a minute. The money was also coming from illegal gambling and his shady business practises where he would invest in a company early on and sell dreams to passers-by with money and are looking to invest, he would promise things like high returns IE a nice sum of money at the end of it if you invest x amount for x amount of years. Only to do dirty and an expression used in business I’ve heard before they would pull the rug meaning cash in their investments without sharing any profits or money made and leave the other investors in limbo and with no money or returns as promised to keep every last penny or dollar the other investors invested in and they know what they are doing and do it with ease and from the jump saying things like you’re going be rich and a toast to the winner or something like that. It’s basically a pyramid scheme where the rich gets richer whilst the unknown and the poorest or less wealthy and powerful get duped and ripped off but at the time of the so-called deal are made to feel they are losing out if they don’t act now, sound familiar to you. As for the illegal gambling there is one video where he is on an illegal website and in the reflection of the big panel windows and the big monitor they had the logo of the illegal gambling site and was heavily visible and he is seen leaning over in this Yatzies style fashion if that makes sense like he was rolling dice or something. Now I don’t know my Adam from my Eve when it comes to illegal gambling sites or recognizing logos so if that was a gambling website logo is not even questionable to be honest as I believe it was why wouldn’t it be and like they lie about something that is easy to verify. Do I think he is involved in illegal gambling and pyramids schemes well there is no saying and at this point can’t be proved by me so I won’t say and that’s not to disclaim others or back him up as I will say due to the cost of his videos him and his team makes it wouldn’t surprise me and by the way he claims all the money made goes back into his YouTube videos and helps pay for all the things people were speculating on like where was all this money was coming from and how he managed to make so much money in so little time if that was true and he was self-funding these videos and done it without things like sponsorship and revenue from YouTube. The other factor that was talked about and is the other reason why he has fallen out of popularity was his choices in business practices though he fired back at the ones who manage his business by suing them and claiming it had nothing to do with him or the brands he made. His first venture was his burgers which you couldn’t nip down to the local to get that burger you’ve been craving you had to order it and get it from a kitchen that made them as basically there wasn’t any restaurant either not even one like you would see at your favourite and non-favourite fast food chains. But never the fewer burger fans and fans rushed to their phones and ordered a burger with the curiosity of what it was going to taste like and due to the fact things like heavy logo images placed in his videos and the promotion it got in those videos where in one video Mr Beasts states you haven’t tasted a burger till you tasted the Mr Beast burger basically hyping it up and once again selling people lies and getting other people well known YouTubers and Z list celebrities who probably took the Mr Beast challenge and earnt themselves some side money and gave good feedback by saying things like best burger with some making over the top delicious sounds like they were over enjoying it or they were starved for days by Mr Beast and that was the first meal they had since they last ate that was sarcasm or was it? Judging by the reviews people were given after tasting the Mr Beast burger it left them underwhelmed and surprise, surprise disappointed. People were quick to buy the burger and record themselves on video unboxing and eating it giving first impressions and taste and quality-like reviews. People called out the quality of the burgers stating it wasn’t even real patty a substitute for real meat or real beef and is still an acceptable form of meat for most cooks and chefs. They also said how it wasn’t even seasoned and in my opinion and judging by my own eyes it looked like a no-frills burger you would find in the more cheaper shops where it is well known you might not be buying say real meat or 100% meat and is mixed with pork and in some cases horse or some sort of alternative mixed mixture and could have parts of nasty bits in you just wouldn’t eat if there were separate or known which it used to be unknown but again with the rise of the internet it has become more transparent and food chains get called out and boycotted when found out and they get a bad reputation and that is bad in a business stance just to point out the obvious. After the burger venture, he later went on to have two other failed businesses his what we would call here in the UK the Dairylea Lunchers and his toys venture. The Dairylea knockoff which was actually set up to be another company’s rival who had the same kind of foods inside and must be overseas snacks as I have never heard of the rival company. The snacks were once again pumped up and made to be the next best thing by making stats compassions from nutrition value to source of meat and its value to the taste test and even as far as saying it’s more healthier than the rival brand and once again getting well known YouTubers to taste the product and give feedback other than joining in with the debrand of the other brand like saying how much better and healthier their product was. People took issue with this as his audience is young and impressionable and would buy into most things as that’s their favourite says the YouTuber in this case he’s trustworthy and in fact getting a young person to determine a trustworthy person from a non-trustworthy person most would find it hard and is the only experience that stops the young and older people from making the same mistakes but happens all in your younger days of life for most. Mr Beast’s toy collection is the classic example of selling and targeting younger audience who are impressionable and still lacking knowledge of how the earth is ran which in a nut shell after your wallet and commitment to brands and companies and getting them rich while we just float along which isn’t the case for all brands, companies and even media but everything or most things is like a strip club no money no lap dance or pole action which I do believe in paying for some services since they shouldn’t have the brunt of paying out for people’s needs and pleasures not if they are paying for them but there are a lot of free and open source software that is similar but most of them you don’t the premier options but apart from that they are great open source software which means it’s free and free to anyone who with like most of the software is using it for non commercial use Gimp the alternative to Photoshop is a free open source software that comes to mind and is something I personally use for all my virtually art and other things like making games and making cover art for my music if I’m not just whacking a title and my artist name over the photo I found online, and use it quite frequently. 

The other person who was heavily discussed and got cancelled and the last person on the list before I wrap it up is James Charles. For those who don’t know who he is, he’s another successful makeup guru on YouTube but not as successful as his rival Jeffery Star but never the less he too had a following and sold out makeup pallets and like most of his other rivals blasted on your computer monitors in the late 2010s and came after Jeffery Star with his makeup brand and and the Jeffery Cosmetics branch. He was and continues to fall into hot water after a video was made about him accusing James of inappropriate texts to underage straight boys and a waiter made another video where he claims James badgered him into getting off with him and potentially sleeping with him even though he stated he was underage and not comfortable with the idea and felt pressured into doing something so he made out with James. This was sort of backed up by a resurfaced YouTube video where he openly admits to liking underaged boys and then his own words stated how he likes straight men he could basically turn out and he seemed turned on and sexually aggressive of the fact he could do this watching the video and is another too much power for those little hands scenario and another classic example of abuse of power. He did make that one apology video like all the others before getting taken down in the hope it would all blow over and be forgotten about but there are always people who don’t forgive or forget and look for copies of the video to repost or they are doing it for views and likes but is a necessary thing I think on the internet as nothing should be just deleted or hide evidence or in this case hiding the lie of the apology. Holding yourself accountable means admitting you have a problem and taking a sort of call to action which means seeking some sort of help for the vice that holds you so well not making a quick and easy apology where you address the issues shift blame or even apologise for your actions like Jeffery Star James Charles only to do it again it’s like they don’t care and think they are untouchable and also unstoppable when that is not the case and is something that is being asked by many YouTube outlets and people when will they just fly away or actually be cancelled but for good and question the remaining fans and customers on what their values actually are from what I gather. The other factor for the downfall and cancellation of James Charles was the whole Sugar Bear Gate which is what I called it and for those who don’t know what that was or how it happened, I briefly explain. James Charles started the drama when he posted a swipe-up ad which is meant to be an engaging way for buyers to interact with the post and discover new and exciting products that were or are being launched. He promoted the Sugar Bear Hair brand line at the music festival popular to influencers called Coachchella a festival held in the desert and going by what was said about the events it attracts influencers and celebrities but mostly influencers and is filled with people taking meaningless photos and videos on their phones around gorgeous settings and backdrops rather than enjoying the music or scene and maybe I don’t know dance. And not just cos you are going get a good photo or segment for a later-on video you put together to show off your experience and is also noted is where the influencer’s brand owners go to and where you may be sponsored if you have been called and at worse get merch which consists of high-end fashion brands, makeup, accessories and other expensive gifts which you pay for at more affordable prices even though sometimes or all the time is always expensive price tags but you are getting a discount and don’t pay retail prices from fashion huts as it’s been explained to me by YouTube videos. Now if you are not in the loop and you may be thinking what does promoting a swipe-up ad about a product called Sugar Bear be so dramatic it’s a product for your hair.

You see there is another well-known YouTube beauty guru. Like the other makeup gurus, a professional makeup artist called Tati Westbrook who had her own line of beauty, hair and skin lines which she was launching called Halo Beauty and was in direct competition with James Charles’s line Sugar Bear Hair. According to Tati herself she felt hurt and betrayed by James for swiping her IE being all friendly and doing countless videos together where he calls her mum and how she taught him the game of the makeup industry allowing him to launch his own products only for James to steal the competition and cut Tati short in financial and also in her own personally life and way. Tati claims she reached out to James but got a cold and stiff reply after a while of waiting and wanted to brush it off as some sort of silly mistake but the messages she got back from Charles only backed up her thoughts. This caused Tati to lash out and make the infamous Bye Sister video as something to explain quickly James calls his fans sisters and in the Bye Sister video Tati explicitly calls out James for the sugar bear incident, explains the backdrop of the matter and her own side of the story whilst dragging other famous TikTok and YouTubers in the conversation and explicitly made strong allegations that James was a sexual predator, preyed on what appears to be underaged vulnerable young men and boys and several other things like being a bad friend and not being a real sister to being narcissistic and toxic and also she heard him speak badly about yet another YouTube beauty guru and makeup artists

Jaqueline Hill when she was nothing but nice him and aided him to his once success at the time. It became an ever-growing back-and-forth tale tell well she said I looked fat in pink, well he said I hated the colour green kind of thing. This is by the way I think is the reason why James got cancelled and the people who came forward with their own allegations against Charles backed up what Tati was saying in the Bye Sister video she recorded and put out on her YouTube channel. Que Jeffery Star again as he after watching the Bye Sister video he had a lot to say about the situation siding with Tati and calling out James and saying nasty and sly comments about him adding more fuel to the fire. Like true YouTube fashion they all later go on to deny they said all those allegations they said about each other and they all admitted of having flaws in their relationship but was something they would like just to move on from as one said it the other joined the skipping and repeated what the original person said which does make sense but what about the victims they won’t go away as easy and people would want to forever know what really happened and if it was all true. It’s also noted that after things died down and people were left to speculate people and began to push blame and speculate on Jeffery Star’s involvement of the Bye Sister video Tati made and then and afterwards since he was dominating the world with his pallets like the Jeffery Star and Shane Dawson Conspiracy Pallet and another sale out cosmetics and both were competitors of Jeffery so it makes sense that he would knock them out the park so he could be at the full front of the cosmetic world of YouTube especially, but also the whole wide world getting him more shop stores and revenue and stopping both James and Tati from getting at his market as that’s a daunting and worrying factor that could happen and as we saw in Sugar Bear gate it has happened as like any chain or most business it’s a cut throat industry and only the most cut throat will go home with that bag IE money but that’s not always the case. I used James Charles, Tati Brooks, Jeffery Star and Sugar Bear Gate as examples as I think it’s classic examples of if true and in James Charles’s case misuse of power and wealth, in Tati’s case the misuse of her platform and utilizing people with ammunition in order to fire at James without evidence or presenting evidence and did it out of spite and angrier or though I do see where she is coming from and was sort of or shadier coming from James’s part I personally would rather of done a collab and split the profits myself. And finally If true Jeffery is guilty of adding fuel to the fire and masterminding a plot to bring down his rival brands and using the innocent like Tati to fight the battle and crush the grape so to speak by spreading misinformation to the YouTube outlets and letting them report on the misinformation Jeffery pays for them to spread and talk about it which in most cases the real hidden issue is unknown to them and they think they are running with real tea IE gossip or information they believe in and are against and they know needs to be talked about so basically most are duped into feeding into the narrative presented until they start to investigate and come to find out it was all lies and they were used or stories don’t just match up and the consistency of the topic shows heavy cracks on the surface.

 

MY FINAL THOUGHTS

First of all, if you made it all the way to the end congratulations and thanks so much for reading this now extensive coverage of just some of the pressing issues being discussed and have been discussed on YouTube especially but is over all the social media platforms as a whole. I really didn’t plan on making it this long and had a lot of explaining to do for those who don’t tune into the gossip and celebrity news channels and for those who are not on YouTube and frequent users to know who those people are or you might just have a different feed than most users of the social media platform. I must admit I didn’t have a clue who Jeffery Star was or at least I rediscovered him after clicking on one of his Makeup tutorial videos on YouTube which was in my feed after being intrigued did I got inundated with his content and the infamous videos I discussed like the Bye Sister video and also coverage from YouTube gossip and drama channels started to flood my feed around the same time I first clicked on one of his videos. I don’t even like makeup but I must admit I was drawn by the personality and all the makeup scandalous that followed and was publicly made by those outlets. I’m not saying we are all perfect and I’m not even saying I’m perfect or e should have perfect pitch all the time but making people accountable for their actions they don’t make amends to or even acknowledge the problem or problems is something I think should be held accountable for no matter who you are and despite the controversial rise of the downfall and the ever-growing list of cancelled people we must all do our bit but keep in my mind this is a great responsibility and is something that shouldn’t be done as I said before and a few times in this post be done willy nilly and with no actual good enough reasons or most important evidence and we should make decisions after hearing other sides of the story, other people’s testaments and hard evidence but saying all that keep an open view of the situations and take people seriously if they do come forward with strong allegations about that person by not  making excuses for them and hold them accountable for all the crimes they committed no matter how much you like and respect or admire that person. It’s easy to shut your eyes and count to ten and the problem vanishes in mid-air and by not shutting your eyes and counting to ten you are helping the world and at times vulnerable people or people who are stuck in bad situations and it becomes harder than ever to put up with such things like being a sexual predator, being toxic and even just bad people in generally and we must push back from all of this as it’s making the world more stupid, carefree, soulless and more narcissistic with bad behaviour being reward whilst good behaviour is being shunned and ridiculed as everyone loves a real bad bitch or boy even though that’s not part of the keeping it real package some people may think it is. Also being just like them doesn’t mean you are exempt from reprisal or that you are safe and those same people don’t show you or talk about the demons they have and most importantly struggle with and when some of them do it is glorified and all about selling that image of being that bitch or boy in most cases which is not having a mental illness is about but that’s one instance. Cancel culture as I said before but to put it more bluntly and to wrap up this blog post is the key to unlocking the sanctuary for both us and other people who are like and not like us and I think is the key we are looking for to push back on on people who abuse power, unacceptably toxic or other things. When used right it can bring people justice and hope for a better day and future and ends their pain and misery or at least stop the pain from rising to the top as they have been heard and people responded which should make them a bit more happy as people are fighting your corner and most importantly believe you even though you thought or were told that no one would and you were alone which can’t be a good feeling. Those who lie and do it for clout something I never covered in this post but is another problem when facing being on the internet but they should be sued like Tasha K and held accountable by the public and come down more heavily on them instead of allowing people to make up lies that pull on your heartstrings and feed into the more vulnerable side you have which is thirsty for insightful information and backstage passes of the behind the scenes to get a glimpse of what really goes on in Hollywood, the music industry and social media outlets like YouTube where everything is fabricated and concealed to hide things and to stop you from finding out the truth and further down the line to prevent you from stop spending money on the person, company or brand.  so it’s all bout the money surprise surprise. Before I go I would like to thank YouTube channels Spill Sesh, LovelyT,  The Empressive Channel, Tee Noir, Tea Spill and Cruel World Happy Mind for their insightful videos and for bringing troubling issues to my attention minus all the makeup scandalous but was still insightful and enjoyable to watch. I did this mostly all from the memory of what I have watched in the past and without those videos I watched I wouldn’t be able to make this blog post or even question my own alliance with black people and black culture or my own alliance with the ones I hold dear AKA the celebrity or in more my case rappers, singers and musicians of the music industry from the older to the newer generations. All the channels mentioned get a thumbs up as they are none biased channels and are points of view they didn’t shy away from which is always nice to hear someone was covering things others were too scared to do even though they are later copied by a copy cat for views and to emulate their success but once again thank you and well done for being that Louis Lane beeatch lol.

Beyonce Act II Country Music And The Hypocrisy Of Black Music Standards

March 30, 2024

INTRO

If you are not aware of it Beyonce has new album out a country album to follow along Renaissance her club and Afro Beats infused album that ran along side her tour also called Renaissance. Wow she’s doing good a successful tour and album with this one following on Act II a Country album which as I will explain is going to break barriers and change the hypocrisy of what people would call black music or associate with black music. I’m actually listening to the album right now for the first time so I will give my review of the album at the end it has 24 tracks on so it’s quite a long one but some of them are short songs. So far the first track is very Shania Twain and the second track is very traditional reminds me a 60s songs I’ve heard it before by a different artist. I must admit I love the fact she’s done it in different act something I would like to do say three different genres but call them chapters or something but linked somehow altogether. Now I think about it the horse on the first album goes well with this album Act II which has a very patriotic western theme  and also has a horse on the album cover. I think it was in all a clever thing to do and makes music interesting again and also dare I say inspiring yeah inspiring. The internet was buzzing with this album with various of funny memes and statements all for the album and some said they put down the Renaissance album and play the crap out of her new album which came out last night 12.00 AM 29/03/2024,  whilst some asked for Act III to come out so they can rotate all three albums. Hang on don’t be a bitch come take it to the floor now HEY lol! I’m on Texas Hold Em I like this one reminiscent of country the melody is catchy. So far I’m getting country music from throughout the decades this one Bodyguard very flowers in her hair style it feels 90s or something you would hear at a festival or light gig it’s very radio friendly too, so far no skips.  Well I was expecting Dolly Parton to be on the album but not as a intro lol that hozzy what a skank we would say. Now I would like to watch Dolly and Beyonce on stage singing Jolene that’s the next track after the Dolly intro. Oh I love it the bleedy sheets on dirty floor or whatever she said very country and upbeat for the next track Daughter, I really like the lyrics for this one called Daughter and the melody. Oooh no sause for Spaghetti the next track a bit of Hip Hop, oh okay like the other album a change up to country music near the end keep it country lol, still no skips Alligator just finished. Well I just finished listening to the album and yeah no skips and a good country album with one or two southern Hip Hop I’m guessing. But I enjoyed the album something I would actually play again if I was in the mood. Will she get her Grammy for this or are they going to say there wasn’t enough traditional pieces in we were find out but check it out if you haven’t already it’s worth a play I would say and not something I would usually go for.  

THE ORIGINS OF COUNTRY MUSIC

The Banjo a well known southern instrument was in fact a instrument made from Western Africans who crossed the Transatlantic in the slave trade and the instrument was made out of gourds, called the Akonting. For Four hundred years the enslaved made their own music including hymns, spirituals, and field song, all with roots in African music. It is said that playing the Banjo in the 1840s was exclusively a Black instrument and was unheard of for a white person to play the banjo. The instrument has had a controversial rise to music fame as in the  In the 1850s, minstrel shows became grossly popular and depicted enslaved Africans as slow, lazy and as cannibals, also it was depicted with Banjos which in affect popularised the Banjo within the white communities inventing the genre Hillbilly music around in the 1920s. Hillbilly music later changed to Country music, first artist drew inspiration from from slave spirituals, field songs, hymns, and the blues, which itself has black origins. Despite America in the 1920s and 1930s being  segregated Hillbilly and black artists would collaborate on songs which became popular and nearly 50 black artists would appear on successful songs with white artists because the music was seen as a black genre but changed hands with white people back and fourth. It was in fact after World War I after 1918 when Hillbilly music got changed to Country music after a big push from the record companies who wanted to start selling Country music but couldn’t due to the race of those artists. The black artists who were signed to a record company in the 1920s was underpaid and didn’t get any recognition. There music was sold on to white artists who were the stand ins and made Country music a white genre with the help of the record companies whose audience favoured middle white America looking people. DeFord Bailey was the one of the first Black musicians to gain recognition and was the first to play the Grand Ole Opry—a big deal for country musicians. His harmonica playing style greatly influenced the country musicians that followed him. Succeeding Bailey was  Charley Pride. As mentioned before, Pride was the first black artist to be inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame and is often referred to as “country music’s first Black superstar.” He served as an inspiration for countless Black musicians. In their tow, Ray Charles was responsible for blending country with R&B and pop music in a way that would forever change the genre. His music also helped fuel the civil rights movement. Bailey, Pride, and Charles are three of the most recognizable Black names in country music, but there are many lesser known names that have also been critical in forming the genre. Gus Cannon was a Black musician who helped popularize jug bands (a precursor to country) in the 1920s and ended up teaching Johnny Cash, a world renowned white country singer. In addition, the guitar fingerpicking style that is largely used in country music today was developed by Black guitarist Leslie Riddle. Still to this day black artists still struggle to get the recognition and acknowledgement they deserve for their work in 2019 rapper Lil Nas’s Rap and Country song Old Town Road was removed from the Country Billboards Charts when Rolling Stone told Billboard, “it does not embrace enough elements of today’s country music to chart in its current version. Also some Country fans accused Lil Nas of cultural appropriation for wearing a cowboy hat but you can’t even wear a pouch without being called Skippy the wannabe kangaroo in my opinion. Beyonce also got in some heat when she released, “Daddy’s Lessons,” in 2016, she faced heavy backlash from the industry despite the fact that the hit single includes all the elements of traditional country music. Even when Beyonce performed “Daddy’s Lessons” at the 2016 Country Music Awards with The Chicks, country fans were enraged and some heckled her one woman said “get that black bitch off the stage.” She additionally submitted the record for a Grammy but was denied. Linda Martell was the first black woman to break into the Country industry and gain success with her 1970s album Colour Me Country it’s hard for black woman to break into the industry and even though there has been a rise in black female country singers in more recent years they are still faced with the same issues.

THE REVOLUATION OF BLACK COUNTRY MUSIC

I really do think it’s revelational as music should be as not only is she opening doors for other Country black artists but she is also reclaiming the lost history and the origins of Country music. There’s a stigma of what people expect of you being black or biracial which is all the urban genres like Hip Hop and Trap here in the UK UK Garage and UK Funky and House which I do actually make but I also like my synthesizers. I’m obsessed with them actually so I make Vapourwave, a bit of Progressive Rock, Synthwave and general synthy vibes which some people would class as white genres but I always said it doesn’t have a colour, I think no genre is White, Black, Asian or other apart from the tribal and traditional stuff from around the world. The boundaries of what people find is black or white is a recurring thing that happens and something I face a little bit in my own life and I think Beyonce’s album Act II is going to break boundaries and the hypocrisy between the races whilst defining the genre in the new form which incorporates other genres such as Hip Hop and other urban genres if it is acknowledge that is. As I said before it would open doors for other black artists who may of come before her and been doing this despite all the backlash and hate that they might get due to it being a white dominated genre. It’s kind of shallow to think that a person doesn’t like anything but Hip Hop and urban genres that’s like saying all Mexican’s drink Tequila and especially when they have strong roots in the genre and was pushed out due to race or race and or being a black woman. I think there is some sort of hypocrisy of what the races identify as being white or black and that is heavily linked in music and the fact the white race are being pushed more then the black race which makes it seem like the white race invented all these genres when really it was passionate black musicians that paved the way for the genre to grow into a mainstream staple diet. There is no denying that things such as colourism and sex has major parts in making it in the music industry and I’m guessing they start where they finish the big wigs I mean who push for what they call desirable and fashion too. Black people are undermined and underpaid and arts are quickly taken away from them and used, as in a video I watched on YouTube as toys just something to play around with and to suit the mainstream audience they are trying to extract money from. I’m sorry to say but most even all of the old white but black singing artists are replacements for the undesirable or what they call undesirable which is black, big nose, big ears and non straight hair again also a thing in fashion and Hollywood. And as we know the south of America and America as a whole can be pretty racists and some do not welcome African and West Indies American descendants into their life or anyone who is not white American. I saw this one example on Facebook this girl took a black boy or young man to the Prom and the mother was f’ing and blinding saying she’s cutting her allowance and even her life insurance she really stomped on her. I was like dang she really doesn’t like black people and she’s going to need that in case she got shot that’s a joke but I think that is the nasty way society is xenophobic and scared of the unknown so they cast it out. I feel there needs to be a lot done when it comes to changing the perception of what music is and the roots of each genre not to mock anyone who came before and paved the way. There is still like ugh you like rock you’re white or any other white based genre. Only once have I experienced slight undertones of racism it was on Tumblr when I used to make a lot of Progressive Rock tracks or call them that even some of them weren’t but anyway he wrote “sorry you ain’t got the long silky hair” and other comments that I thankfully forgot. He was referencing that most of the Progressive Rock bands had long silky straight hair and I was never too be marketed as Progressive Rock as I have a afro, that was it one message read “stick to what you know” as to say this is not the allocated genre for me. It’s funny cos some people actually expect you to stick with the allocated genres like Hip Hop and make a bigger deal if you are of colour even though they are just getting on with it and not trying to be ground-breaking or life changing you actually like that genre and been listening for all your life and was brought up with it. It’s not a well known fact and I don’t really put it as one of genres I like but I like Country. I like Johnny Cash, Dolly Patron, Hank Williams and Pasty Cline or though Pasty Cline’s music reminds me of sitting by the bar drinking myself to oblivion cos my girlfriend cheated on me that’s the feeling I get from her music. But I like country more so when Grand Theft Auto San Andres came out it was one of my favourite but secret favourite stations. Okay it’s not my favourite genre but I enjoy it and actually reminds me of being in a bar or Karaoke night when Johnny Cash the second or Dolly Parton the second takes the stage. Not only that Country is seen as naff or Hillbilly it’s not cool for a young person to listen to Country in the eyes of the young but Beyonce will change that and make it more fashionable. Not only that she’s doing the music industry a big favour by making a Country album as there has been a resurged of Country music in the last couple of years so it works in their favour and music is more inspiring as I said I feel inspired by her two latest albums even though I would never make Country I haven’t got the tools for one or knowledge for two. I like the fact that other black artist incorporate country with other genres like Hip Hop and people who work for Billboards need to start welcoming country infused with other genres for the sake of Country they can always push out the traditional artists too. Hip Hop got turned into Trap which is a Southern America genre but the UK has it’s own spin too, so why not welcome the new styles of Country and allow black artist to shine and make changes instead of being part of the problem. It’s all down to the outside world perception and what they would call black or urban or white if there wasn’t such undertones of racism there would be more balance within the genres and more freedom to express the genres you like without the fear of being laughed at or being laughed at and also make the music you exactly like instead of spitting unmeaningful lyrics or being a stereotype you know you’re not all to fit into your culture. Though this isn’t one sided and comes from all the races and sides which is all tribalism based stuff and a interesting topic to talk about. The basis of real tribalism is working together as a team and putting any race issues aside the old your English I’m English that is one angle. But the Western tribalism is all clicky and you all must look the same to fit into the gang or tribe which translate into music so horribly well. That’s why it’s so important for people like Beyonce to smash a few doors down someone well known and has done the rounds and also respected. Just how many boy bands come after Take That or N’Sync how many Janet and Michael Jackson’s were there. They made music or was in a group that inspired so many people and Beyonce is one of those people and has inspired so many artists out now but granted she has her haters too but who doesn’t. I only said that as I think it would inspire black artist to do a country album or put elements in their songs who wasn’t even diehard country music fans to begin with. Not to mention as I said before it will aid other artists who make Country and put them on the map too and to also tell them to keep following their dreams even though the odds may be against them but now it works more in their favour. Popular music you hear say on the radio, on YouTube Music, Spotify etc etc it’s all been demographically done and should appeal to the massive not just a group of people or though it is marketed at them but it’s marketed for everyone at the same time. That’s why there is no colour when it comes to music genres and the way we consume it or even sex or though artists like the City Girls are pushed for the girls with all those hypersexual lyrics and money money money lines but it can appeal to anyone I liked Twerkalator I would of listened to that more if it was pushed but guess they have gone now. 

Another Haunting Dream

October 6, 2023

Introduction

I had this nightmare or dream last night it was a recurring dream of me being in a nuclear bomb explosion and the fallout around that. I already did an Ebook on the last couple I had cos now I had at least six or seven dreams or nightmares but they are more like anxiety dreams. I explained that it was probably from the aeroplanes going past and it sounded like a bomb just got dropped or that’s how I think it sounded or my brain should I say thinks it sounds. I recently finished a zombie game where I got the template online and did my own thing with IE. I made the sprites including the zombies and other stuff in the game, which is why I had zombies in my dream or a zombie  but I’ll leave a link to both the game and Ebook below if you want to check that out it’s all free and on this website. I didn’t read the news article or watch the video but there was an explosion in Oxfordshire apparently it was a gas tank that got hit by lightning and there was a big fireball the thumbnail to the video looked like it was a nuclear explosion which probably is another factor of me having the dream or nightmare but it’s been a while since I had one and was quite scary exactly in parts I was on my edge of the seat in my dream and real uptight and on edge I remember that. 

Mental Release

In the first part, I was in a mental hospital or a prison or it could have been both as it goes one bit to the next like you just fast forward the ads. The television was on and a nuclear explosion had just happened somewhere. I’m not really sure what happened before that but I think the news reporter got munched by a zombie after the nuclear explosion and it panned and stayed on the horizon of a field or whatever the backdrop was. I was then let out of the prison or asylum because of the explosion they said I was let out on good behaviour even though I was causing some sort of ruckus over something that I can’t remember. But I remember thinking I can’t believe they were letting me out but was quick out the door.  I rushed home because of the pandemic and presumably because of the explosion too. As I was making my way home on foot I went down alleys and roads that were best described as the Black Mirror episode where she wakes up and finds she’s the only person to be in existence but there was a bit where she’s walking down the roads and passed houses as you would see in Coronation street or up north new built attached houses. Something happened just before I appeared in my flat in the next bit I remember but it was something that shook me a bit in my dream and happened around the newly built house and was like the Civic Center dream I had and mentioned in the Ebook there’s a whole chapter dedicated to that part of the dream.

Home At Last

The next bit I was in my flat there was some sort of row in my bedroom. I’m still unsure what it was about but it was something major and taking up a lot of my time as I had plans to leave for the town as it might have been said on the news at the asylum or prison to leave your homes and head to safety, I’m not too sure.  Something caused me to leave my flat I think as I said wanted to head to town and get to safety so I walked which took some time and was slow-paced. Also, I was in my flat for some time as I couldn’t leave but I wanted to and had to wait for something but again I’m not sure what. I think I watched TV and got more updates of the explosion and watched normal TV as they told us on the TV we were safe and that nothing is going on even though there was a nuclear explosion live on TV and also a zombie attack or some sort of beast but I think it was a zombie as it looked more like but it wanted blood.

Up The Market

I was by Old Market Street it’s the main point or one of the main points into town coming from the outskirts of Bristol and is a famous street in Bristol it’s well known and not for it’s roughness. I was attacked by a zombie as I made my way into town and also met someone after I got attacked by a zombie and we stole a car because, in the car we were advised to get into a car but that was it and we thought another nuclear explosion was going to happen. Not only that there was some sort of barricade blocking the way to walk and only cars were going past there weren’t that many cars but there were one or two. The car journey didn’t last that long and we ended up going our different ways once we got into the main town part which was outside Debenhams but at the back entrance away from the main street and overlooking a busy road, opposite a busy bus stop and a Beefeater but in my dream the bus stop and Beefeater wasn’t there. It wasn’t busy in my dream either and no one standing on my side of the road even near the main road by Marks & Spensers I was standing at the top of the road so nowhere near there but I could see all the way down.

Wait Your Turn

So there I was outside Debenhams and I saw people on either side of the road. It looked different to how it looked in reality. The road had barriers on both sides, queuing up to leave town. There must have been talk of authorities or some man who took over the town whilst it was in a state and in panic well I think the authorities told us to leave and the man whoever he was, was trying to get everyone to stay why I have no idea but it seemed like a cunning plan he was going to hatch. I didn’t know what was going on as in people queuing to leave Bristol till I saw these queues of people and found out then.  Whilst queuing up we all learned of the man who wanted us to stay in Bristol which we knew we were going to die if we stayed and somehow he was holding us back but this was our actual freedom. Why and how who knows but it was decided we were going to hunt him down and set off to his destination. He may have been a zombie creator whatever it was it was bad enough to go hunt for him down and win back our freedom. Some people were talking of staying if they managed to get hold of this man whoever he was. We then went to look for him, hearing that he had escaped to a theatre so that’s where we headed to and wasn’t much of a walk but seemed longer in the dream. 

The Show Begins

The theatre was cordoned off with wood fencing, but music was blasting from the outside speakers with flood lights that were still on in the day time. The zombie creator or whoever he was stood behind the wooden fencing and behind a wall out of view and we all knew he was there but couldn’t get to him who knows what would have happened but all that could be seen was his shadow. There were two entrances in the front and two as you go in like an old-fashioned cinema entrance or theatre you might still see and a  pink neon lighting and writing in a cool font I was admiring the font with the neon light and there was music playing. It sounded nice at the beginning like cinematic music then it went all wired and hard to hear the music and was like a distorted wired noise it scared some of the people but not everyone. The next bit was away from the theatre it seemed around the corner but there was talk of some people held captive nearby and just as it happened our freedom was awaiting at this location but we were warned it wasn’t pretty or it was going to be just a walk in the park but we were all worried about it and didn’t know where we were going end up, especially with the zombies or whatever they were but we were up for it and wanted to be at the final place with no drama.

Nightmare In The Woods

Next, there was a long trek, for someone gave us the next clue as to what we had to do next, we had to leave Bristol. We trekked to this place or it morphed into woodland it was rather dark in the woods but  was still light out of the woodlands. There were zombies or dead bodies all over the place and covered the forest floor. The whole floor was covered with bodies every last patch of woodland and there was this skeleton zombie thing that looked human at first until I got closer and recognized it wasn’t alive it had a lantern in its hand. Some bodies were still alive but pretended to be dead and was a horrific sight I nearly ran away. The whatever it was with the lantern didn’t detect me and let me pass but was sniffing the next person as it was standing there like it was in a zombie game and I remember quickly walking ahead at a fast pace before it detected me and not to see the fate of the person behind me who knows what happened to them? The creature with the lantern, they were over-seers and looked strong and powerful oh there was also groaning going on coming from the creature and some of the bodies on the floor it was terrifying, I was looking for someone in particular, but then discovered that they were one of the dead bodies on the ground in the woods so I had to get out of there as soon as I could and that’s what I did I got out safe and I think there were loads of undead creatures by that point and chased me out of the woods into the daylight again as that felt like it was the safe zone again.

The Chase Is On

During this last bit of the dream, I ran into a building, it was a side-view like a long mobile builder’s hut, it had windows but at the same time it was a train maybe it was part of an old railway line in Bristol onwards to Bath but at first it looked like a hut. I was by the window so I opened it oh there was also some unhidden danger that I faced so I opened the window to get a better look and saw a crowd and a man, not the person or the unhidden danger but they were all running away down the hill as it looked mountain. I had my head hanging out of the window and they were running away from me because I was shouting and waving for them to go there was also this weird eclipse that happened too shortly before I chased people away and also a quick glimpse of some dragon King Kong I don’t know what it was but it looked a lot like that and then I then woke up once again relived it was only a dream especially the woodland bit I was shook it felt like I seen it all before but a different dream.

5 Reasons Why Music Can Help With Your Mental Health

November 27, 2022

I got inspired after making my 24-hour mental health music marathon and I thought I’d do a blog post around mental health and music and how it helped me and also how it can help you with five ways music can help with your mental health with examples of songs for that topic. As I said before music has always been a blessing and a curse and at times music was my downfall but also my up fall too. I would have phases of different subjects but in the end I noticed positive tracks really helped me and the negative tracks sometimes worked just as long it wasn’t too violent as I’m not a violent person and that might of lead me down the wrong path which is not what you want when you are starting out to be someone. I started off using music as a remedy after a teacher said I should listen to some Classical and after hearing it I noticed how still my mind was, but it wasn’t my thing being around six at the time maybe seven. So, I began to hunt for tracks with the same side effects, but I lost my way and found some other tracks with lyrics like Queen Break Free and also Madona Live To Tell A Secret and noticed how that made me feel on top of a lot of House and a bit of Junge too. It’s safe to say music has been my savior though and I owe a lot to it also a few stern words with the music and myself for leading myself down the wrong paths which I’m not even walking a centimeter near it it’s a graveyard. I feel it can be a potential answer to some of your problems you might have and has answered some of my burning questions and at the worst to know I wasn’t alone even though it wasn’t my lifestyle and spent time differing the two. I do remember some music wasn’t good for my mental health as I said some tracks and albums made me angrier and I was on for doing the unthinkable, but it wasn’t murder but getting my own back. That is why I don’t play a lot of violent raps as it doesn’t make you want to do something bad, but it makes you in the name of Ludacris “Act A Fool” which I try and not do. Yes, true fact though I used Ludacris Act A Fool to calm down and not be so out there on the streets and worked when I wasn’t smoking weed as that was doing the job for me. I used to smoke a lot of weed whilst listening to music, I also collected quite a few tracks in the past and had a good decent number of tracks from all sorts of genres but all the old skool classic I probably had them at one point in my life. I had fun making my own playlists of different types of categories like relaxing, summer, morning etc it’s how I got the feel for each state of the day or season. My first music awakening was by Salt ‘n’ Pepa Unnecessary with the song None Of Your Business I really took a lot from that track alone, but it was how I dealt with racism I was getting from the kids at school which all ended up good in the end apart from one. Also, Janet Jackson’s That’s The Way Love Goes taught me a lot and not to be so hung up when things don’t go my way which I still have the same attuited to this day. Also Adventures Of Stevie V’s Taught me about the evil of money and corruption there’s been a few tracks I have learned from and mostly good. The weirdest learning curve through music was actually Barbie Girl where I realised it doesn’t matter if you were fake, you still could be a good person and not stale something I wished I took more attention to when growing up as I always let the haters get to my head which is now a thing of the past thankfully but that was a nightmare.    

1. To Relax

It goes without saying sleep is important and even though I do have a lot of all nighters I do get my sleep and catch up eventually, but music has always helped me with getting to sleep and also relaxing. My two choices for relaxing or sleeping are slow jams and classical music and when I’m in the mood I listen to that or used to should I say. I always make Sunday a calm one with playing slow songs but not always it helps me keep calm and also focus a lot which is what I need a lot of when I get distracted. Also rain and the sounds of the woodland that helps me relax as well and get to bed early but when I’m up its stuck. It’s hard to say what R’n’B singers help me relax because they all do all the best slow jams from the 90s especially which is more my specialty, or it used to be. For me there are two types of relaxing music stuff to unwind to and stuff to fall asleep and funny enough I used Janet Jackson’s song That’s The Way Love Goes and Anytime Anyplace also by Janet Jackson for my sleeping pattern as I find Janet has quite a soothing voice and especially on those tracks. Another song that comes to mind when I’m playing music to sleep is Aaliyah’s At Your Best (You Are Loved) or the Isely Brother’s original version, also Dru Hill’s Beauty because I always said I got my beauty sleep with that song, oh one last one Mariah Carey’s Rooftop Ft Mobb Deep that gets me asleep really quick and one more Johnny Gill My, My, My, the keys always put me asleep. For my just relaxing at home, I like to listen to a lot of Reggae Dub but not all the time and normal Reggae also Hip Hop and R’n’B but I try to play something different each day. I like to listen to relaxing mostly at night when it’s dark and more nighttime listening or though when I haven’t had much sleep I tend to listen to softer music and fall back asleep which sounds lazier than it is lol. Sleep is part of the well being cycle and as I said it’s important to get enough sleep even when you didn’t get any you have to catch up to stop the mind from wondering too much. Not only that it does help repair the tissue in the brain and that helps to regrow cells which we need in our brain to function right. Not getting enough sleep can lead to delusions like hearing and visions and also if you are already intolerant it could dramatically increase your mental illness if you ran yourself to the ground.      

2. To Vent

Say what you want music is good for venting angry and other emotions from your head just as long it’s in your own personal space and it’s not hurting anyone everyone needs to vent every now and then or it will fester into something more serious. I vent in many ways through music and the classic one is have a nice day won’t you putting it bluntly when dealing with haters something I won’t bring up as the music industry and Hollywood has taught me don’t give them too much light or they might grow bigger, and you wouldn’t want that. Venting could be any emotion, but I would say it’s more of a negative thing than a positive and has helped me get all my emotions like angrier out and has also guided me as the stuff they were rapping about haters I could feel that and know way before clout became in it was a thirsty mind set and was looked down at now it’s all topsy turvy. I also used songs to vent my anxieties and push past the barriers of fear and paranoia from weed and my mental health. It wasn’t easy and took a distraction like talking or singing the words to overcome the fear, but it was all in my head.  The last song I used to challenge demons was Lil’ Kim’s Haterz when it came out whenever that was, I was in college and there’s a lot of bitches it was a bit too much, but I completed the course for Business but that was a hard year for me. That was the last time I used a song to vent but when WAP came out wet ass you know what did come to mind for some next up shinny thing. Artists I tend to pick up a lot of talk about haters is from Notorious B.I.G, Lil’ Kim, Tupac, and Mobb Deep those were the artist I tend to listen to when I was and wasn’t thinking about my haters. I mean really you shouldn’t even let them unnerve you, but it is hard with all the comments they give but don’t want any real smoke. That’s how I use music to vent my angry out without losing all control as you don’t want a “sore loser” now do we. Music can also be to let the tears run though I’m don’t believe in sitting in trauma and pain though some circumstances obviously, time is a healer but there are some things you can easily recover from. Basically, it’s not as bad as you thought, I mean I’ve been through a lot of shitty stuff and know half the things that happen are just silly mishaps that you can easily get around the trick is not to soak for too long and a healthy routine or activity in your life can stop you from bouncing off the walls. Songs I listen to vent my feelings for angrier I play Lil’ Kim Backstabbers, Notorious B.I.G. Playa Haters and Big Pun Beware. For Sad songs I like Whitney Houston Ft Faith Evans & Kelly Price Heartbreak Hotel, Brian Knight Anytime, and Mary J Blige I’m Goin Down but on the flip side Changes I’ve Been Through which is more my thing less downy and more upbeat. 

3. To Lose Time & Forget

Music is a good key to lose track of time and forget your troubles even if it was worth a x number of minutes. I use music to speed up the clock and make things go a bit faster in the day and at night my music is on low and to also forget my troubles and is a good source for doing so. For me it started at a club or rave and losing track of time there, so it was only natural to bring it home with me. I notice though it didn’t have to be ravy and could be something relaxing and calm you can easily shut your brain off and zone out but not too much as that is bad for you. The quickest way though to pass time is to put on something clubby and long and the time soon goes there’s been a couple of times where I was listening to a really long mix, and it was over before I knew it which was what I was looking for also having something to do with the brain and fingers that helps and is sort of like binge watching on YouTube or wherever. If I’m really feeling the music or I am already up I might do a quick twirl on the dancefloor and that helps me relax later down in the day when I’m still energetic. I use music to speed up things mainly when I want the days to go quicker or if I’m just bored but I feel a bit of music warms the place up and can stop it from feeling isolated and empty. Also I make music music and that keeps me busy doing stuff when I’m actually making music, but I don’t watch TV as I don’t pay a TV licence, so I watch YouTube and make music instead which is a lot more fun than sitting in front of the box and switching off, but TV is another aider for time passing if there is something good on that is. I like to leave the music on throughout the day and night as it keeps me company and I tend to listen to my radio Ghosting Radio home to all my music as I just want some background noise and don’t want to change over every two minutes it drives me mental lol. On my way to London, I noticed how fast it would go if I had the right music so it may take a bit of practice to fully get your mind to fully switch off but it’s worth it. I also never used to travel anywhere on foot or on the bus without my MP3 or Walkman in the 90s it’s the only thing that gets me through the travel as I don’t really like travelling no more and stay busy on my computer. Music helps me zone out and also concentrate which I tend to put something suitable on depending on what the task is, but I use my music to concentrate on things I do creative wise and need undescribed music and my music fits the bill. Music wise to lose time to Missy Elliot Click Clack which could be seen as a vent song also, Dem Franchise Boyz Oh I Think They Like Me, DJ Zinc Supa Sharp Shooters, Da Brat Fab 5 Freedy which is another vent song and lastly Sticky Ft Kele Roc Things We Do which I always have to turn up loud for that one. I would say they were some of my release songs that has helped me through a lot like dealing with haters, getting money and also life in general which was a huge learning curve for me never again though life is always hard when you are a kid growing up. 

4. To Remember

The real magic of music it unlocks memories and yes for the good and bad, but I like to concentrate on the good side. I have countless memories with ties to music but the ones that come to mind is partying but I’m sure I had some sensible times as well. There are lots of good times I had with music that I now have lost or didn’t find which is a shame, but I have lots of songs I remember and some I don’t. I have songs for every occasion from summer, summer in the 90s, Christmas, birthdays and many more events I was a part of and lucky to be a part of. I love when I’m walking with my MP3 on, and I suddenly get a memory out of the blue I haven’t had any like that for a while now but that was the fact I was listening to music whilst walking. What I don’t like is being on a bus and getting a flashback as I like to think in my own time when no one is around which sometimes I over think things, but I hate that and try to turn the music off before I have a laughter fit and people start looking at me funny. I might have said this already on a different webpage but if you are trying to get some old memories back try playing some songs from that time maybe from the charts or whatever you were playing at the time which does trigger the memoires and believe me, they can be shocking and unbelievable as I didn’t believe myself, but music does help with rusty brains especially if there are a few years missing in your memory calendar. It may take a few goes and best when you are not distracted by things around you, but I got a lot of my memories back with the help of playing the old bangers which can be taxing on your mind and make you feel like you are going mad. Also, I used music to memorize a function when I was working at an agency which had a whole of rhythm to it and found it easier with some music and an hour to memorize the 5 handles left, right, angle, arms up, head tilt. What I also like to do is pick and rap song cos my singing is crappy, but I would learn the song step by step and get confident enough to rap it out loud it’s good for motor skills and for memory. There are a few songs I know off by heart and can do some blindfolded which I still don’t know how I got through it since I haven’t listened to the tracks in quite a while but it’s good to know I still have the memory space I thought I lost it. Another good practise is playing keyboard and I used to be better at learning new songs I haven’t tried in a while now like 3 years as I haven’t got the motive to do it, but I want to and want to do another Bach piece and something easy at first.  My songs that I have memories with is Salt ‘n’ Pepa Whatta Man that has a lot of memories attached to it, Corona Rhythm Of The Night which reminds me of the good times in the early 90s, Lumidee Uh Oh which reminds me when I was at St Pauls Carnival and where I was hearing a lot of Reggaeton which was all good and easy to dance to. You might as well say the whole How High album by Redman & Method Man but their tracks Let’s Do It is my favourite and has a lot of memories. It reminds me of my young self with bongs and going raving whenever we had the money. Lastly Sean Paul’s album but mainly Gimmie The Light as that’s a club banger and I got drunk and danced to that quite a few times and they are all similar to my bus ride reflections a bit cringe but laughable, I’m always up for a laugh though within reason but that’s why I enjoyed raving and clubbing as it was a good chance to have a laugh.

5. To Laugh

I do like a good song to laugh to and I think music can help you laugh it out and is a good way to boast your mood if you are feeling low and have several songs that do that for me. It all started with the TLC Crazy Sexy Cool interlude you know the one where she is missing some toilettes  items in a prank call that always boasted my mood no matter how much it made me cringe it always made me laugh. There are a few interludes and skits that make me laugh and mainly in Hip Hop but some R’n’B too it’s always good for a laugh and to also forget where you are for a minute which when bored or low is always a handy tool to have and thanks to YouTube, Spotify and other music platforms they are all at our finger tips and you just need a good memory to know what album it was on as that was the problem I faced when looking for those skits and interludes. I supposed the more shocking or true to life is the ones I usually play like the ones that you are like I can’t believe you said that or ha true that those are my favourite to play. It’s also memories you can laugh at the memories you had or though I won’t go on about it again but they are good for remembering your memories with the people and things you hold dear to you. As I mention in all my status I like to have a laugh and think it’s important not to take yourself seriously as you have no fun in life. Though saying that there is a time and place for having a laugh but I think it’s important to let go every now and then even if Becky is bitching about how fabulous she thinks she is you should let them bitch and do you don’t worry about the haters as I say I don’t live for my haters which mean say what you want we ain’t related or in any kind of friendship I’m going do me. That’s why it’s also good to laugh at your haters and the people who chat shit and there are a lot of songs that help me laugh at them. I always say like the saying goes there’s no point sitting there in the dumps with the why me attitude as the haters will be having a field day so I use music to also help me laugh and put my middle finger up to the bullshit and say not today thank you. I also use music to rap along and entertain myself for a few hours at the most which I put on the funny songs to help me get in the mood with things but I always rap the most sensible lyrics and leave out the most obscene. I don’t really remember all the funny songs but I used to have quite a lot of tracks that I deemed as funny but I have lost them now. I say it’s good for your mental health and it can help boast your mood but also your confidence and has helped me a lot during my hardest times to laugh it out and make me forget about the situation or know it wasn’t worth it as those people are stupid and not worth fighting over or going to prison, which they would of won the fight and once again we can’t be having that now lol. Do you think of a song and say that reminds me of ol Keshia and not Cole lol it’s how I found balance actually and think it’s a good way to balance yourself out without going too over the top. I also use music that makes me laugh when I’m overthinking and feeling not myself it’s how I get back into the swing of it which usually takes a couple of days when I’m feeling really low. Songs that make me laugh is Notorious B.I.G. Story To Tell, Rick James Cold Blooded, Quinn Doin The Most, Lil’ Kim Big Momma Thang, and Good Girl ft Mulatto Thirsty cos it’s not just those you know who are thirsty. I think they are good funny but true to life songs that always make me laugh and also cry at some of them I love music like that. 

Mind 24 Hour Mental Health Music Marathon

If you enjoyed that then please head over to this page for a 24 hour mental health music I streamed with more sensible songs on that is high energy and all in your feelings. It was going to be on YouTube but it was kicked to the curb like I thought it would of done so for now you can find it on this website and also on Mixcloud it has genres from House, Jungle/Drum & Bass, Motown, Soul, a bit of Reggae, Hip Hop and R’n’B and much more all from the 60s and up to present day, it’s more of a mental health music party with only  a few sad songs on there as I kept it feel good and bouncy with a couple of sad songs in there for mix.

My Seven Mental Health Songs

May 10, 2022

MY MENTAL HEALTH JOURNEY

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week here in the UK so I thought I’d do something around mental health and something with music. But before I do that I’d like to talk a little bit about my journey with mental health and where I feel I am today. My experience with hearing voices came from an early age after an unfortunate event in my life I won’t get into but all of a sudden I was hearing voices and I was alone and in my own world for decades before I got help in 2016. But all before that I lived with hearing voices and having paranoid thoughts due to smoking the wrong weed called K2  and other synthetic drugs I didn’t know were synthetic but that was the worse stages of the episodes and thoughts that are invading and can get quite rough. But tIt caused me to act weird which as an embarrassed teen around that time I used to cringe at my outbursts but not now I kind of look pasts that and know I don’t do that and was just the young me trying to survive in the ever-changing world. The silly thing was I never told anyone that I was hearing voices and that was because I felt safe and it was always fun to wake up to do something I was also adventurous and I still am in a way but I was always on the go and loved each day with my dog and the few people I let into my life as I was paranoid but all for the good reasons and at the end of the day kept me safe and off the hard drugs which I’ve never touched and I mean non Class A party drugs like heroin or crack. It was also some other events in my life that made the voices intense to more I’m going die vibes which were fueled by outside thoughts and people it was bad but I always fought the devils and tried to do my best till it got too much and I kind of gave up for the meantime and focused on getting my mental and health together and get over all the things that had happened in the past. In 2016 I was admitted to a hospital ward for psychosis and I’ve been taking medication ever since which helps with the irrational thoughts and the episodes which I am grateful for. I’ve built my confidence up and my memory is getting stronger as I kind of lost my memory or at least I forgot about all the good things and concentrated on the bad which suffocated me and lead me down a dark and lonely path which was hell and somewhere I won’t be going back to as I wouldn’t let it get that bad again oh no. It makes you do outrageous things and the paranoid thoughts are intense and not something I enjoyed especially when smoking weed and taking some drugs which I did bring on myself but I was self-medicating and trying to cope in my own way while making great moves in life but as I said that came as a toll which was the stresses and lifestyle choices equaled to a more unstable me but it wasn’t the work. Somehow the paranoid thoughts got worse and I could no longer feel like I could work or even get out of bed there were days when I wouldn’t even go anywhere and was too paranoid to go to anyone I thought I was being watched and thought everyone was talking about me or wanted to do some sort of harm but to be fair this started at an early age but it came back and got worse each time with stuff I was adding up that didn’t even come up to the right total and now I think about it it was common math problems but being young and unknowing it was hard to judge it right and of course, my mind wasn’t in the right place though I was pretending it didn’t exist in the most difficult situations I choose when to listen to the voices as sometimes the information must have been my sub conscious talking to me like old memories but it came in the form of people in my head talking to me and it was good and bad stuff but mainly a mix of dark and light slash funny stuff.

I have cut off a lot of people I knew in the past like old friends as I wasn’t comfortable being around them and always thought negative thoughts about how they see me and so forth which soon came with evidence now we have grown apart and it’s been a long time so it’s the time apart that did it but no one makes the effort even me as I have seen they didn’t so it was kind of like well I don’t need this and left it for them to get in touch with me if they wanted but some people I left as I do not like to be the donkey of the group and made small because of my beliefs or where I was going or even been which is not here or there but I’ve been to a lot of good places which causes a lot of hate and I have my own band of haters but we all do so apparently it’s normal. Getting rid of toxic people and being with the people that make you happy not like a piece of poop but that is something I had to do to heal myself which was a long and drawn-out process also admitting and wanting the help that comes from you and only when I was ready which was after I was admitted and I realized I couldn’t even go back to the being the local nutter and try to revert back to when I was cooler and calmer which was certain times like being on holiday where it was easy to forget the problems I had but when I didn’t go on holiday which was must years I would go for walks or go out of the city for the day but I don’t really go anywhere nowadays. I’ve been thinking recently and I’m now looking for a change I don’t want fame and never wanted fame but I do want to be comfortable like most people where I don’t have to worry about certain things. But more importantly, I’m alone and looking for something to do instead of being in my room thinking and over making music which I now want to do a bit less which means not every day but I do worry people will forget me quick so that is why I post nearly every day. I mean I do like being alone I’m used to being alone and doing something as I like to be occupied and can’t be sitting down doing anything as I might have oversaid by now but that’s the other reason. I do vow to do something about it though and have made a few arrangements that will hopefully make my life better or worse but I’m a big believer in the new start it does take some work though but when I’m on something I’m on it. The truth is I stagnated for too long and now I’m trying to break out of that shell and try and do something new and hopefully meet more friends or meet old ones but I’m way over that paranoid feeling I’m more I have to grab the bull by the horns times and do it cos I can’t keep up with the isolation routine it’s numbing but I do speak to people though. The stigma of having a mental illness is something that I have also experienced throughout my mental health experience and even though we have come a long way it still is unheard of. I feel people are undermined or looked down on if they have a mental health problem and I also feel no matter how much you hear it can happen and you bet I did it even though I was “ill” like go to university which some people are doubting me because of my illness which is why I can’t forgive these people or want to know them for any more time I mean the haters, okay but my friends and family well I’ve seen enough.

MUSIC AND MY MENTAL HEALTH

From an early age, I used music not only to express myself but also to understand my pains and problems and mental health was one thing I used a lot which started with Queen I’m Going Simply Mad but went to stuff that wasn’t really about mental health but the love fall out and other tracks which I felt helped me to understand and overcome some of my problems. This is why I believe in music healing and believe songs can unlock your heartache and cure it. Of course, the dark side to it which there was a dark side on some tracks made me think more negative let’s just say but I tend to stay away from the negative songs and concentrate on the more club and of course, the ladies in the 90s rap game which I found helped me with some of the problems like haters. I played the keyboard and write silly songs and poems about my feelings growing up and that also helped me with my problems but that was inspired by the 90s heartbreak songs the point where I felt low due to my voices in the early 90s. It wasn’t really I’m going to sit down and listen to these songs and feel I was in the room and heard it and thought how I could use more of this in my life. When I listen to music I like to remember things and think music is good for bringing back your memory and the right song like that obscure song you were obsessed about or that one-hit-wonder you used to hit the town with which puts me in a sort of delusional state as it was so long ago and a one-off moment in time you say that was the best I’ll never forget but decades down the line you can hardly remember what day it is or some times how old you are I’m now 37. There is always that one song that stays with you but there are lots of songs that can strike memories the more decades you go back you can kind of see the past but it’s a quick flash to the past sometimes I’m standing in the room and that is due to heavy isolation way before they were doing it lol. I mean I use music for everything and listen to it a lot in my downtime when I’m not making music which I also listen to but I’ve recently started getting back into music from other people like from yesteryear and beyond and it’s surprising what I remember. I have a few playlists on my hub if you want to listen to them, it’s in the Testing Site section and it’s called Jukebox. Thankfully liking music helped me grow tastes that were different but it always helped me express how I was feeling which was always a good outlet to let it all go and as I said make me remember the younger me which was a chaotic time for me. My favorite genres for helping with mental health has to be House, R’n’B, and Hip Hop, and those are the three that helped me but in earlier years dance music from the 80s to 2005 and the old house helped me to understand people. That’s the thing I also think it’s good for younger people and kids to understand the world but people I mean I can play a track and feel like they were talking about someone I knew as it was so universal in the laungeue of hate or whatever it was. I mean I feel some people look down at their nose too much House is too gay, or some R’n’B is just for the ladies it’s just music, and as long as it does something like keep you going it’s a good thing as long as you like it that’s all that matters.  

Reggae from the 70s really helped me overcome problems I mean if you really want a genre that ticks all the boxes for mental health struggles reggae is the answer I mean it’s all about feelings and how they feel about situations and statements which I do miss having statements in fashion and in also music only cos everyone had their own identity or there were groups who dress a certain way but also have their own lifestyle. But reggae always made me happy and reminds me of a lot of good times it’s also good for chilling at home on a sunny day of course. I remember the words like kicking them to the curb which is something I still do to this day but I remember it like I was taking the advice of the drunk stranger if you excuse the phrase who would get drunk and tell you your truths as your ride home from the youth club it was sort of like that or though I thought that was a drastic thing to do at the time I got stronger. Sometimes I found myself kicking myself for not going with my gut when I listened to that one song so I did find it useful I will be like I’m going to be the next Fast Lane victim washed up on the streets and so forth or dealing with the haters which I have had a few. Listening to positive music helps with your mental health and can do great things for you I mean the one song I can think of well two actually is I Will Survive or Survoir which are two songs that seem to talk about a woman’s pains it could be anybody but granted I Will Survive is the more woman’s anthem but they are two songs anybody could listen to that will make you see the positive side if you ain’t feeling sorry for yourself and that is somewhere I have been but will never go that low again cos at the end of the day happiness does come from within and that means keeping yourself happy at all costs but not your kids though just throw that in there. I don’t really listen to sad songs when I’m down no more I just sit there it’s best not to feed it positive or negative emotion as it does lead to funny consequences and all that whatever talk just looks silly especially when you are not in the right state of mind I mean silence is something I begin to like and when I’m bored I have nothing else to do but to sit in silence but I think its good to have a bit of silence I mean I used to go the woods with my dog and just chill there and listen to the birds and watch the sky it’s really nice to get out and enjoy nature and have that alone time-space you probably won’t found in a city but that could be listening to music too. What I also like about music and mental health is it brings people together and it’s easier to talk about your problems there have been times in the past where I’ve seen a comment a low person on a sad song but it was either a desperate cry for attention or just someone lost but I was taken back by the sensible responses to the post and be like it’s still a caring world or it was now it’s getting sinister and remotely childish but less said about that but that’s the other thing social media is draining our souls and trust me I love all the platforms even though I’m never or never will be on them as I would probably struggle to found an audience and also I’m really not looking for celebrity status lol which I’m not saying I would have but I’m happy working in the back it somewhere I’ve always been in the back doing something either something that seemed pointless or something creative. I will leave a playlist that has a mental health theme to it and there is a couple about being lonely which goes with this year’s mental health theme which started yesterday 09/05/2022 and runs for a week here in the UK but there is a World Mental Health Day on the 10th October so if I can I do another blog post as it’s something close to my heart. hopefully, there’s a theme you know I love my themes and always doing something theme-based or I used to do.            

Top 5 Favourite Synth Plugins

March 13, 2022

Synth Heaven

I’ve got a few synthesizers plugins now and I thought I do my top five of the ones I use and really like. They are an arm and a leg some of them in fact nearly all but I do think they are worth it and when you have them you can get a lot of use out of them and can reuse parts if needed to but there is so much selection you never go back to the old sounds. I like the old synths myself the original hard hitters and even though they are replicated you can still get good sounds out of them depending on what genres you make you will find a lot of good sounds but I make mostly synthy stuff from synthwave to vaporwave to generally synthy music which hasn’t really got a genre but inspiration from other genres all mixed with a bit of what I call a Hip Hop drum beat but I do make normal patterns as well but I like to experiment with drums and the synths itself. As I said probably a million times before I love my synthesizers and have always been obsessed with them from an early age and like dark and light sounds but I do like thick basses and dark and moody basses I like those also subs obviously the sub is the easiest to work with.  Anyway here’s my top five synths I use and really love with some tracks I made all used with the same plugin for each plugin I used and there are two tracks per plugin so ten altogether. 

#5. Uhe - Diva/£179

Diva The is a good synth plugin and has some good sounds in there, especially the laid-back sounds similar to Omishphere but do the same job as in relaxing mellow vibes.  It has dark and moody basses to which I love and also some edgy synth sounds which I also like about the synths as dark and edgy is what I like to make but as I said I like to make nice mellow soft beats too. The synth is a analogue synth and is an emulator of the analogue era and comes with loads of filters and knobs to turn to tweak the sounds which are also a good feature but I’m too impressed with the sounds and make them in the box. It does have a high CPU usage so a computer with good ram and hard drive space is needed it works better on a desktop computer rather than a laptop.  Here are two tracks used with the synth plugin you can download the tracks for free the link with will at the bottom of this post or on the track itself in the player.

#4. Artuia - Vocoder V3/£199

The Vocoder V is a good synth plugin and though it doesn’t have the choices of different sounds and is minimal what it has is great for retro genres and can make some good tracks out of them, it does cost a bit on its own but if you head over to splice.com you can get a good price a rent to own system where you pay $24.99 a month until you pay it off you get the Vocoder V and also a whole bunch of other synths to put into your mixes. I mean the V collection from Arturia is one of my favourites and there is a lot to choose from and just what I look for as I make retro genres but also spice the synths up with some new flavors I just put together. I notice there was a unique sound used or was similar to something that was used in famous Jungle tracks in the 90s and I didn’t use it in the example I used it a few times and got a good result out of it but I didn’t release it as it sounded like the old stuff I love and heard from earlier artists.  As I said it doesn’t have a lot of selection but what it does have is worth putting in and works well for Electro Funk and other genres like that.

#3. Artuia - Arp 2600 V3/£149

If you are looking for a dark and moody synth that is also light and warm the Arp 2600 is the one for you and has a good selection of both dark and light sounds I like to use or I used to use a lot in my tracks. It has a good selection of basses and sequencers that you will be lost in I know I was. It has a lot of knobs and things to tweak which I don’t like to use and also it has its own sequencer built-in which you can use on any sound you choose all the Arturia products have that feature built-in. Like all the products featured in this list they are great for other genres this one I noticed was good for Drum and Bass and Jungle which is surprising as it’s an old synth and is a replica of the original Arp 2600 which was out in the 70s. It has some really good thick basses that remind me of Progressive Rock Basses and G Funk which I always loved. The Arp 2600 comes with the V collection on Splice.com and can be rent to own like all of the Artuia products on here. I find this synth works well with retro genres but also Halloween projects which I like to do around that time of year and the most surprising it makes okay House tracks but not anything current these are retro synths. 

#2. Uhe - Repro/£149

Repro is a great synth and comes in two Repro 1 and Repro 5 so two for one you know I love a good bargain. It has a lot of great choices and has everything from bass to strings like all the products listed here. The synth has knobs to turn to modify the sounds and also has its own built-in sequencer for those not listed under the sequencer page.  The synth has some great sounds and I used it a lot in older works, especially an album called Racial Harmony but it was under a different title before I thought how special the plugin was and I used it a lot in some of the new works but gave it a rest for a while to give the other synths a chance. I like how there are two plugins to choose from and the amount of good sounds there were and also used it on Rebitten By The Lizard album I made quite a while ago now which can all be found on my Bandcamp page. The sounds you get I found were hard-hitting and edgy and I love that kind of thing but also it has some mellow strings and other mellow sounds for those downtempo tracks. It does have a retro feel to it and I’m not sure what else it is good for as I only use it for synthy stuff but I’m sure it’s good for other genres too. 

#1 Artuia - Mini V3/£149

In at number one, my favourite synth plugin has to the Mini V3 and has a lot of thick basses and nice synths to put into your mix. I’ve made my best tracks with this synth and I think there is something special about it that brings something to the table or maybe it’s just my musical taste. My favourite parts are the basses and the synths which are thick dark and light which is an example on the first track of this section. It has a lot of Progressive Rock-like tones and also some weird and strange sounds that I think it’s appealing to the ear or again it could be my musical taste. It has a lot to choose from and I remember when I first got it I was lost on the number of basses or sounds that I would choose from and I tend to use this quite a lot or did in the past but again I retired it for a while to make way for some other sounds as it can sound a bit samey if you put too much in an album or EP or whatever. I like the whole sound of it and put this at number one as it’s my most used synth plugin and something I go back to even if it’s just for the bass or another part that I like, and it’s an old synth to the original Mini by Moog from the 70s and has been reincarnated 

Why I Love 80’s Music

February 27, 2022

Some say the 80s music wasn’t that good and was naff which I beg to differ and think there were loads of songs out that were good and tracks I still like to this day. I was born in the 80s and even though I was too young to remember or understand the context of tracks I still enjoyed them and the more I got older the more I understood and realized how good music was. I make music in my spare time and I feel if it wasn’t for the 80s and 90s my music taste would have been different and is where I get my obsession with synthesizers which is 70s too and House which was the 80s phenomenon that exploded and is still here and are the most popular and influential genre that and Drum & Bass. What I also liked about the 80s music was the fact there was so much good stuff and seemed the world was making music there was so much obscure stuff not just from your favorite artists but people you would have never heard of or heard of again yes there was a lot of one-hit wonders and some of them was naff but the beats though. That reminds me people say or said that some of it was too naff and the content was a bit cheesy but the beats were classic and seemed like Electro-Funk but I love my Rare Groove the hits that came from that genre alone which know seems like 80s Pop but whatever it was still good no matter how cheesy it seemed to people. Even though I listened to the mainstream on the radio and tapes and later CD there was a lot of underground artists that I used to listen to from the Electro-Funk and New Groove genres going from pillar to post I heard a lot of music some I would never hear again until I come across it someday like some of them thanks for sharing them. How innocent it was there was no swearing or sex overdrive content which is happening now and all over the place but there would have been a Mary Whitehouse figure who would have brought down the hammer and made actions against this new crisis swiping our neighbourhood. Compared to 90s music where it had a dramatic revamp with gangster rap and R’n’B which I’m surprised some of the lyrics got through as they were racy back then it was all love and candles and wetness but yes compared to the 90s 80s music seemed innocent and all fun and energetic which is why I love 80s music as a whole it was lively not all of it though there was a lot of ballads too which I also like. I have to say it was quite stylish which was fitting for the era and there was a lot of fashion moments from the 80s that people still wear today and it comes back around but it wasn’t the best era for fashion I mean bright colors and baggy stuff and big hair it was all about the hair, hair was a big thing back then.  

The thing that really impressed me and is what I love is Electro Funk and Electro Boogaloo that is my obsession and is something I really love but never can find the right tracks. When I was younger I used to listen to them and think I will make something like this one day and I do every now and then at least the backdrop to the songs but I love Electro from the 80s and I’m still not sure what to call it as it has rap in but it’s listed under something else stuff like off Wildstyle off GTA Vice City that is my favorite genre from the 80s and I can listen to that all day. The main artist I listened to when I was younger was the four main artists from the 80s Michael Jackson, Madonna, and Prince and Queen but all the artists from the early 80s and 70s and 60s were the main four I listened to a lot. There are tracks that I got bored of though and that’s thanks to radio play and overplaying it myself I won’t name any names but there are a few I no longer play and retired for now. In my spare time, I liked to hunt for obscure tracks I had forgotten and go through lists of tracks to find the best ones which take a lot of time but it’s worth it I feel. I remember Sundays being Top 40 on the radio and Friday was Top Of The Pops which were two shows I used to tune into and did for two decades before it got boring and I had other options but Friday and Sunday were the music days for me. Other than New Groove, Electro, and Rap I love 80s House and there is so much of it that was released from 1985 onwards and I noticed but never released that the tracks from the 80s were rereleased from 2011 and were some of the most famous House tracks. The rave scene that populated the mid-80s which is still a living thing till this day but more over ground was a once in a lifetime thing and though it is long gone it is remembered by some as the most memorable thing to come out of the 80s with the music scene that went alongside it and if it wasn’t for the Chicago House scene there wouldn’t be much of a House scene at the very least as there was a lot of genres that was made during or after House that populated rave scenes but House was the first scene to break into this world.

That 80’s & 90’s Thing

February 24, 2022

Man, I miss the old days no offensive kids but it was a lot more fun and fewer laws even though I was still a child in the 90s I did witness and take part in some great stuff that is sadly no longer allowed all these laws it’s a nanny state. Anyway, this ain’t a moan about how life is crap now cos the law and governments drained all the fun from the earth which they didn’t it was time that did it as things have moved on and are noted to be more drama central and got weirder after the 2010s but it has been interesting and fun a few no they didn’t and a few jeez someone get me out of here this is a disaster but we all hold on to our mental well being even though I do work hard and I am always up or staying awake but I do get my beauty sleep as we all know that one must be practised well. There are a lot of things you can’t do now and I feel it’s too restricted people need to let their hair down in many different ways but camping and raving are two things that come to mind when it’s time to let your hair down sitting at home are boring but not with a computer but it’s always good to go out and see and meet new people seems like a same old conversation but it’s true and being restricted it’s harder to do that. Maybe you are lucky and you have a nice mayor, government, and police with fair laws like the Netherlands where it’s relaxed but strict here in the UK we have restrictions like no camping, no illegal raves, and no trespassing on private land which for a hiker like me it’s a burden keep saying is this field it’s a field and it’s going towards a nice scenic walk can we have our freedom back please as I’m starting to wear a tin hat…not really lol but really! I would say things are more acceptable but it’s kind of vice versa and things are accepted and not accepted but it’s good there is more we are here kind of attitude and people who are nonbinary and the LBGT community have taken a bolder stance in the last decade for the good and bad though there has been a lot of hate mail I know I shouldn’t laugh at after a while it got kind of overbearing, I bring that up as the famous song Relax in the ’80s wasn’t received well by all and was another hate train only the anything before the 2010s where it was more relaxed no pun intended but anything before that it was all wrong and shunned upon I noticed that in the media. I got to say being in the now is great downloads, internet access, a portal to your dreams basically as anything is possible and even though it was still possible the chances of hitting targets if you hustle hard cos closed mouths don’t get fed in boulevard lol but seriously though that ain’t a joke.

 

I do miss being young I was always about music, games, technology, and writing fan mail to my favourite artists which started after and my best friend at the time made a scrapbook of cutouts that featured TLC and another artist I think Snoop Dogg they were out the Top Of The Pops and Smash Hits Magazines either one or the other or both but that was another thing I used to buy you don’t get any more do they even make The Source anymore I know NME is still going strong another good magazine I thought it was just rock stuff I called it the rock non-rock magazine. Talking about Top Of The Pops that’s another thing I miss can you imagine the WAP song on there and they say Relax was too sexed-up  Another thing I miss is Slush Puppies my favourite was Cherry or Raspberry which gave you brain freeze more than Cherry and it reminds me of playing in Blaize Castle Park where the van always used to be by the park or in the car park or near the woods sometimes. They probably weren’t healthy for you and the amount of sugar that went in one cup is ridiculous but it gave me the energy lol high on the slush puppy. I don’t miss going to school but I do miss my school friends and the fun we used to have I wished I was an adult as there were a lot of fun things floating around for the adults and kids too but there were a lot of free things floating around I mean who remembers having a free domain and website no package or money needed that was around 1998 but I was just a kid who was overwhelmed by all the things you had to do to run your own site which I got a lot of tips from my dad’s friends and people who I knew that helped me launch my site as in getting it in the cloud the hardest bit of the whole process. Also, the internet as we know was slow and took ages with that horrible noise when it used to dial I’ll never miss that it now reminds me of fallout of some sort and probably an SOS signal as when I was still in school there was a mini explosion at a plant not so far from the city and I got home and I put on the internet and spooked myself from that day on but it gives me a good idea for a track or an EP of some sort. 

 

The music was great too as I said I was too young to understand lyric content but I knew a great beat when I saw one and that probably is why I try to make the best every time as the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s were good eras for music. I’m kind of obsessed with synthesizers and I wouldn’t like to blame the ’70s and 80s music in particular but 90s and later too but also Motown, Reggae, and Funk from the 60s and 70s I’ll admit it I love music and was obsessed with it now I enjoy making music rather than listen to it but I listen to current songs too from the last couple of years to see who is new and hot so to speak but I love my classics from the ’60s onwards. Music has changed dramatically and it ain’t all have a nice day attitude which is all good but I do miss the innocent songs even though I thought they were a little corny I still love them. Got to love being in the now though with all that old and new music we have at our fingertips but again going to the record shop to buy the single you craved right now I miss and I spent a lot of pocket money and when I was working too on singles and albums from shops that are no more. All in the good old Walkman the thing that kept me going and I always had one near me even though it was a cheap thing it still worked though it always fell out of my pocket until I noticed and secured it so this one wouldn’t break so easily. The amount of time I spent making mixtapes and taping off the radio with my few tapes and a boombox, a kids radio set at one point. I did kind of overdid it with the taping but there were so many good songs out that they would play I kind of had to limit myself to the number of tracks as I only had a few tapes and they were expensive to buy wow over my pocket money in the early days but more affordable as time went on.

Nuclear Dreams

February 21, 2022

About two years ago I was having some weird dreams about being in a nuclear attack and I had about six dreams altogether which I think are anxiety dreams which I’m unsure what they are really about. I made two EPs now which one wasn’t that good in sound quality, so I redid it and this blog post is about those dreams I was having. I’ve had a few dreams now where I was in some sort of war zone and being attacked which I think is from all the terror attacks and all the other stresses of the world that have gotten to me. It mainly happens when I don’t smoke and haven’t got any which is interesting as the times I don’t smoke is the times I would get the same sort of dreams but in different places and like all dreams they move so quickly and rapidly from one place to the next and can get very dark and strange. I was trying to find out what it means and I got no answer it could be repressed anger or it could be dissatisfaction it is just to be known but they were cool and the best bit is waking up and knowing it was just a dream and I can go back to sleep or get up but yeah they were scary being in them and would dread the day hopefully that will never happen again. I’m rewriting this from memory and my old tracklists of the old EP I did so it may be jumpy like my dream. 

The first bit I remember was being in a hut which was like in the country and somewhere foreign. The door was open and we were talking I was about to leave the hut when suddenly I saw a mushroom cloud in the background with a massive bang which scared all of us. After the explosion we saw people leave their huts and make their way to where the explosion happened around a mile away, we were not so far behind. We made our way to what seemed like a field and there were lots of people standing around panicking and wondering what was going to happen next when suddenly there was another explosion but this time around a statue which there was a bright flash which nearly blinded us and then it was all burnt and marble looking which people rushed to put out the fire and panic some more. Whilst this was going on they were moving the cattle to a safer place which I suggested and was over the hill and kind of like the Elephant Graveyard in Lion King in all sense in distant and visual wise. They didn’t want to go but they knew it was best and started moving the cattle and dogs to the safer ground whilst we talked about what was happening and what we were going to do and it was suggested the only place safe was where they were taking the animals to the Elephant Graveyard like place which was around 100 miles but you could just see it in the distant where the sun was setting.  

The next bit gets weird cruel and eerie as for some reason the dream moves on to a stadium I’m unsure if someone said to go there or if it just went there but I was there not with the same people and we were in a stadium which was like a baseball stadium it’s out of a game which I can’t think of the name it’s a shooting game and you have to sneak up to the alarms and disable them but you are in a stadium and it looked a lot like that all dingy and dark looking. We were quite a way up in the seating area of the stadium and I could see Vladimir Putin talking on the mic and there was a dog next to him. He was standing next to what looked like a dock with water all around him and he was standing at the foot of the water but in a dry area. There was some dispute about what Putin said and all of a sudden he pressed a button and another explosion happened in the background and was another mushroom cloud which was around 100 miles and could be seen in the far distance. There was another argument this time what to do with the injured dog that was next to Putin as there was no room for any injured animals or even people so to everyone’s surprise Putin drowned the dog in the water and everyone including myself rushed off in all sorts of directions to stop us from seeing the final blow. 

The next bit changed quickly after that and was outside the council building which is a Civic Centre and no one was around no one was on the street walking or driving on the roads it was deserted. There was a building that used to be the old council building for nonworkers seen in the distance of the picture which was open. The door was usually automatic but this time it was wide open so I go and see if anyone else is around and to my surprise, there wasn’t and was just an empty reception and an empty waiting area which was always busy and full of people so it was weird to see the place like that and felt like a bank just before it closes empty and still which is different if you go there midday or in the morning or even afternoon. I took a look around to see if anyone was around but before I could look in the offices there was someone behind me I didn’t know who it was and didn’t hang around to see who it was or what they were about to do and was back on the street before I knew it. 

The last part of the dream was with my gran and my friend from school who we just bumped into each other or maybe we were just with each other as dreams are rapid. There was news of another nuclear attack and we had to get out the way by going to the Highlands in Scotland which was the safest place to be. There were other people there and so was my dog Patch people didn’t want her coming on the bus to the Highlands so I and my friend got on the next bus which was a couple of minutes after the first bus so it was not that long to wait. When we got there we were led to a cottage to rest but we didn’t have time as there was another explosion but no mushroom cloud and we all rushed to the evacuation hut which was in the garden and that’s when the story ended. There was probably lots more to the dreams and were on all different days but I had to write it down somehow.  As I said I’ve made two EPs about the nuclear dreams I had and one can be found on all major platforms and the other on Bandcamp.  

Nuclear Mix